


In Ukai's Eyes

by notpoppyfields (poppyfields)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Begging, Consent, Drunk Ukai Keishin, Drunken Confessions, Exhibitionism, Falling In Love, Flirting, Gay, Gay Sex, Getting Together, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Light Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Self-Esteem Issues, Smut, Teasing, Temptation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:48:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 78,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28401183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poppyfields/pseuds/notpoppyfields
Summary: Ukai Keishin had always been attractive. And he'd known it for a long time, too. For Takeda it wasn't like that. He was plain, boring, a little too short and nerdy. He'd never once thought of himself as attractive. That is, until Keishin came along.
Relationships: Naoi Manabu/Takeda Ittetsu, Takeda Ittetsu & Ukai Keishin, Takeda Ittetsu/Original Male Character(s), Takeda Ittetsu/Ukai Keishin
Comments: 256
Kudos: 290





	1. Expectations

Ukai Keishin had always been attractive. Well, since high school. Middle school doesn’t count, no one was hot in middle school. Ever since his first year at Karasuno, though, he’s gotten used to the feeling of eyes on him. He knows what they mean.

The first time he ever felt it, actually, was the summer he was fourteen. He was just getting out of his awkward phase, but it was fresh in the memory of all the kids at his school, so no one there was incredibly attracted to him, to say the least. Over the break, however, he was working at Sakanoshita market part time, and a group of three girls, first years from Karasuno, he later found out, came nearly every day to buy popsicles and stand around in the back aisles giggling. They would look at him pointedly as he rang up their items and blush when he said anything other than their total.

He’d been confused at the time. He never understood what was so funny they could laugh about it every single day. He didn’t understand why they could never look him in the eye when he asked if they needed a bag. One of them even tried to ask him out and he hadn’t realised that was what she was doing until hours after they’d all left. Now, more than ten years later, he was better at identifying it. When the same person came to the market more than a couple times in a week, buying small items but taking forever to browse. The older they got the less they did things like giggle or blush, but it wasn’t any different at its core.

He assumed that was what was happening when the little twink in the glasses started hanging around the store every day. He couldn’t say he exactly minded. The guy looked cute. Dark, messy hair, big eyes, little waist, it might not be Keishin’s ideal type, but definitely one he enjoyed. Plus, it had been a while since a guy had hit on him. Girls were fine, but he’d always really liked the way men moaned. He’d actually been considering a trip to a gay club sometime soon to break his dry spell. Maybe he wouldn’t need to.

When it had passed two weeks of this guy showing up every couple of days, wandering around the back of the shop, eying him with a poorly disguised curiosity, and then buying a pack of gum or something stupid like that and leaving without saying a word, Keishin was getting bored. He would say something next time the guy came in.

The next time he came in was two days later and he did the same thing he always did. The fake browsing, the fake interest in the fake purchase. Ukai caught him staring more than usual that day though. He had a strange sparkle in his eyes as well, like he was determined to get what he wanted. Keishin had to admit it was attractive.

“I’ve seen you around here a lot lately,” Keishin let his eyes roll slowly over the man in front of him as he slowly pulled his item across the counter, “There’s not something you want to talk to me about, is there?”  
The man laughed a little, as if they had been playing a game of tag and Keishin had just caught him. He turned to the side and covered his smile with his hand for a second. It was cute. He was the type to hide his smiles, his laughs. It meant he was probably the type to stifle his moans too. That would be interesting to see.  
“There is, actually,” the man smiled at him, “I guess I wasn’t being very subtle.”  
Keishin smirked, leaning back in his chair and placing a cigarette between his teeth. He nodded at the man, telling him to go ahead with whatever it was he wanted to say, before he began flicking his lighter under his cupped hand. 

“You’re Ukai, right?”  
Keishin laughed out a puff of smoke, “You’re heard of me?”  
“I, well, yeah, I guess I have. The thing is Ukai-san,” the guy started.  
Keishin waited for him to explain what it was he had to talk to him about. The man looked very proper, spoke very innocently, he wondered how he would put it. What pretty words he would choose to describe the disgusting things he wanted from Keishin. Or would he skip pretty words altogether? Keishin thought he wouldn’t mind seeing, hearing, dirty words coming out of such a delicate mouth.

“I work at Karasuno high school, and I’m the sponsor for the volleyball team.”  
It was like a tonne of bricks. Suddenly every tiny bit of enjoyment Keishin had been getting from the interaction was suddenly squashed.  
“No.”  
“Wait I haven’t even-”  
Keishin sat up in his chair, taking a huge drag from his cigarette to try and distract from the headache this abrupt change had afflicted him with.  
“Sorry what was your name?” Keishin wasn’t sure if he’d said it.  
“Takeda.”  
“Takeda-san, I’ll be honest with you. I’m not interested in Karasuno, I’m not interested in the volleyball team, I don’t like kids. I’m not sure how exactly you want me to be involved, but I can tell you right now, I don’t want to do it. Your total is ￥380.”  
Takeda looked down at the little snack he’d brought to the counter, obviously just as an excuse, then back up at Keishin.  
“Please, listen to me-”  
If only this conversation could have been what Keishin expected. Then he would have loved to hear Takeda begging. Now it was just annoying.

* * *

Keishin didn’t know exactly how it had happened, but somehow the little teacher had roped him in. Something about _the kids_ and _Karasuno’s pride_ and Keishin didn’t even know what else. He’d given in to the early requests, to listen to some speech that was supposed to convince him, or to come watch the team practice, out of a simple curiosity. It was kind of fun to watch Takeda get all passionate when he talked about the team. Keishin had been sure he would still be able to turn down the offers, he had been sure he had an iron will, until suddenly he found himself saying yes.

“So I’m coaching a volleyball team now,” he grumbled as he walked out of the gym that day, Takeda trailing behind him, “Why couldn’t you have just wanted to fuck?”  
“Wha- fuck?”  
As expected the word sounded funny coming out of the proper little man’s proper little mouth.  
“Who ever said anything about-” he paused, stopping himself from saying the word again, “that.”  
He looked flustered. It was amusing. Keishin wondered if he cursed often. It would be funny to see if he could make him curse again.  
“No one, that’s the problem,” Keishin groaned, “I thought you were going to hit on me the day we met, but it was just,” He made a sour expression and waved lazily at the gym behind them, “this.”

Takeda had turned a bright shade of red. Clearly this kind of conversation wasn’t as comfortable for him as it was for Keishin. Keishin wondered if he ever talked about sex. He seemed the type to still blush at the word “penis”. It made him wonder how he got this far working with a bunch of high school boys. Keishin didn’t mind. If he got to tease him like this so easily, maybe this job would be more fun than he thought.

“Who- Wh- Why would you think that?”  
Keishin laughed and took a drag of his cigarette.  
“I don’t even-” Takeda continued, “I’m not even gay!”  
Keishin let his eyes roll up and down his small body before he let out a small laugh, “You’re not? My bad.”  
Takeda stared at him with a fire in his eyes, “I’m not! I don’t know why everyone always thinks I’m gay.”  
Keishin smirked at the implication that this had happened before. He wondered how many times. He was willing to bet guys had been hitting on Takeda at least since college.  
“Just wishful thinking, I guess,” he ruffled a hand through Takeda’s hair, as if he could make it any more messy than it already was.

As he walked past the campus gates, Takeda just stood where he left him, looking bewildered and embarrassed and kind of adorable. Keishin wasn’t about to feel guilty for teasing him though, it was revenge for making him do this stupid coaching thing in the first place. He still wished he’d been able to say no, but at least Tekeda’s red cheeks were something to look forward to.

Ittetsu went home that night with no idea what to think. He was glad Ukai had agreed to coach, and he was excited for the team, but then he couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said after practice.  
“Just wishful thinking.”  
What could he have meant by that? Ittetsu couldn’t imagine anyone viewing him so sexually. He’d had sex, obviously, he had a girlfriend in college and another a couple of years ago, but in both relationships they hadn’t started having sex until they’d been seeing each other for more than a month. It had always happened more because they were supposed to, that was what a couple was supposed to do. He didn’t think he was awfully good at it, his girlfriends had never seemed to think so, and he’d always just accepted that wasn’t his strong suit. People would fall in love with him for his personality, not his sex appeal.

The way Ukai looked at him though? The way he talked about him? It was like he was some kind of forbidden fruit. Like some tempting siren that would lead men to a watery grave. It just didn’t make sense. Ukai must have been making fun of him. He just wanted to get a reaction out of him. Ittetsu was sure Ukai didn’t actually want to, you know, do anything. Even if Ukai was gay, which Ittetsu already had a hard time believing, he didn’t seem exactly fruity, there was no way someone like him would be interested in Ittetsu. No way. 

When he arrived at practice the next day, Ukai was already there, finishing off a cigarette right outside the gym door. God, he smoked a lot. Ittetsu thought his mouth probably tasted like an ashtray. Not that it mattered what his mouth tasted like. Not that Ittetsu was thinking about that. 

When Ukai saw him, he just raised his hand in a casual wave.  
“Morning, Sensei.”  
He let the cigarette butt drop to the ground and he stomped it into the earth with a twist of his shoe.  
“Oh, um, you don’t have to call me that.”  
“Oh, come on,” Ukai grinned at him, “It’s fun.”  
Ittetsu conjured a smile. What was he going to do about this man?

When practice started, Ukai easily took charge. Even if they gave him trouble, in his first day he was able to communicate with the boys on the team. He could command their respect in a way Ittetsu had never been able to. Not that the players didn’t respect him, but he always felt like they were reminding themselves to, or doing it as some sort of favour. He treated them well, so they respected him to repay him. They seemed to respect Ukai in a different way. Like he deserved it. Ittetsu had to admit a bit of jealousy.

The practice passed without Ukai mentioning anything that they’d talked about the day before. Ittetsu had been confused since they’d parted, but the more Ukai continued as if nothing had happened the more confused he got. He really didn’t want to have to be the one to bring it up but...  
“About what you said yesterday.”  
The boys were busy running drills and wouldn’t overhear their conversation, so Ittetsu decided to just get it over with.  
“Mmm?” Was Ukai’s only response. He didn’t even turn his head.  
“You know, the thing about ‘wishful thinking’?”  
Ukai still didn’t turn his head, but an amused smile started to play at his lips.  
“Well, did you just mean in your case, like, that was your experience, or did you mean more generally?”  
Ukai laughed, “You sound like you’re reviewing an essay.”  
Takeda tried not to seem embarrassed, “I mean, you said if someone assumed I was, you know, gay, that it was because they hoped I was, but you were just talking about yourself, right?”  
It wasn’t until after he’d said it that Ittetsu realised he’d basically just asked if Ukai wanted him.

It was funny to watch Takeda fumble over his words. Even if it wasn’t how he meant to say it, it was funny to see how confident he was the Keishin wanted to fuck him. Funny enough to make Keishin laugh at least.  
“And I thought you were insecure or something,” he laughed, then without changing his smile, he switched his tone to one more serious, “Yeah, I meant me, but I’m definitely not the first man to think that.”  
“Well, see, I don’t know what you mean by that,” Takeda pushed, ignoring the red spreading on his cheeks.  
“Now look at you, you were so cocky before,” Keishin smirked, “Are you just fishing for compliments?”  
Keishin stared at Takeda for a moment, to ask if he really needed to hear him say the words that badly. Takeda just met his gaze, some kind of determination in his unblinking eyes.  
“Your hot, Sensei,” Keishin explained, “Attractive, sexy, whatever. That’s why men want to fuck you.”

This was able to break Takeda’s determination, and he turned his eyes to the floor, face bright red.  
“No.”  
“What?”  
“That’s not true, I- You’re the only person who sees me that way, Ukai-san.”  
“It’s cute that you think that, but you should have more confidence in yourself, Sensei,” Keishin grinned charmingly at him, “someone might take advantage of you.”  
Takeda was obviously flustered. Had no one ever told him this before? 

Ukai clapped his hands together, shaking Ittetsu from his embarrassment.  
“Ok team, gather around.”

After that, they didn’t revisit the conversation. In the days that followed, Ukai would sometimes give Takeda teasing looks when he bent over a certain way or had too close of a conversation with another teacher. Looks that said “and you really don’t think you’re sexy”. Or at least that’s what Ittetsu felt like they meant, but he wasn’t going to ask and he didn’t want to assume. In any case, the tension, the awkwardness of the conversation, of all that it implied, just hung around them.

* * *

One night, about a week after Ukai had joined the team, Ittetsu was watching a drama in his apartment before bed, and a sex scene came on. It was a very innocent, subtle one. Just a passionate kiss, some light touching, then a lighting change and a lot left implied, but it had been a while since Ittetsu watched something like that, so he was already starting to get hard.

He let his hand drop between his legs and he started to slowly rub himself through his pants. It felt nice. The sex scene was aleady over on the show, and he was debating whether he should get up now and just watch porn, or let the episode finish and do this later when suddenly a weird thought popped into his head.

“Just wishful thinking, I guess.”

He didn’t know why he thought of it, but he let his hand grind a little harder at his pants as the memory replayed in his head. It was weird. Kind of creepy. Ukai was attracted to him. He looked at him like he could picture him completely undressed, and like he wouldn’t mind imagining it at any moment. It made Ittetsu feel like an object, but if he was an object he was something sweet. Something tempting. Something expensive. He was the creamy dark chocolate fondue that Ukai craved but just couldn’t afford.

His dick was now completely hard, and Ittetsu unbuttoned his fly to get a closer grip on it. He wondered what Ukai thought his dick looked like. He was sure he’d imagined it. He’d probably imagined touching it, maybe sucking it. He didn’t know exactly why, but he found himself wondering what Ukai’s cock looked like too. He had a suspicion it was big. He talked like someone with a big dick, like someone who knew how to use it, too.

He remembered the words Ukai had said so casually, as if they were objective truth, “You’re hot, Sensei.”  
A slight gasp escaped his lips as he imagined it. He didn’t know what he was doing, what he was thinking about. Ukai was a man, he had a penis, and he wanted to shove that penis in Ittetsu’s ass. And Ittetsu wasn’t gay. It shouldn’t excite him that Ukai thought about him like that it should disgust him. He wasn’t gay. He didn’t want Ukai shoving his dick anywhere.

Still, Ittetsu suddenly found his thumb slipping down the end of his spine and between his ass cheeks. He felt himself shudder as his finger found the entrance to his hole. He dragged his finger lightly over it as he continued to rub himself from the front. Was this really what Ukai would want to do to him? Would he want to touch his hole like this? Would he want to play with it? Lick it? Would he want to put his fingers inside it? Stretch it out slowly with his hands? Would he spread it open, pull himself close and slowly insert himself deep in Ittetsu’s guts? 

Ittetsu shivered at the thought. He couldn’t imagine himself taking a dick, he could hardly imagine himself taking a finger. Even as he played with his asshole he couldn’t get anything more than a knuckle inside. He supposed lube would help. He thought a partner probably would too. He wondered if Ukai had imagined him while mastubating like this. He wondered if he’d ever had a similar fantasy of helping him out. He wondered what he’d look like if he could see Ittetsu now.  
He would probably have that cocky, self-satisfied smile on his face.  
He would scoff and say, “Oh yeah, and you’re not gay, right?”

Ittetsu hadn’t planned to do it right then and there in his living room, so when he came he only had his hand to cum into. It was thick and sticky and it was going to be a huge mess if he didn’t go clean himself up right now. His eyes flicked to the drama that he’d never even bothered to turn off, suddenly feeling guilty, dirty. What had he just been imagining? Why had he just been imagining that?


	2. Distractions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: some light themes of sexual assault/coercion

Eventually Keishin did end up going to the club. He realised Takeda probably wasn’t going to let him hit, so he would go find someone who would. There wasn’t anyone all that attractive there when he went, that was sort of what you got for going to a gay bar in Sendai on a Thursday night, but Keishin found an average looking, sort of lanky guy that looked like he wanted it bad. He was sure he would have fun anyways.

The guy seemed experienced. He took enough time in the motel bathroom that Keishin knew he would come out prepped and ready. They didn’t do too much in the way of foreplay before Keishin was inside the guy. His cock slipped in easily, which didn’t happen often, so this guy must keep his hole pretty loose. The thought of Takeda popped into Keishin’s head for a second. He wondered what that ass felt like. It would probably be unbearably tight.

It seemed the guy liked it rough, which was always sort of fun for Keishin. He wrapped his hand in the guys short hair and tugged him back as he pushed himself in deeper. The guy made all kinds of sounds as he did. Fun sounds. The kind that would no doubt make it through the thin walls and make some poor businessman or tourist regret choosing the cheap, seedy motel over a nicer place. 

They wrapped up after about an hour, and Keishin immediately headed to the shower. When he came out the guy was still sprawled on the bed with exaggerated exhaustion. As Keishin got dressed the guy started talking about all kinds of different things that they really didn’t need to talk about. He was probably trying to make conversation. Create some kind of connection with Keishin that would justify asking for his number, or a second date. Keishin wasn’t interested.

It wasn’t that late when he got home, only like 1:30 am, but morning practice was unbearably early, so only got about four hours of sleep. Takeda didn’t come to morning practice that day, he sometimes skipped it, it wasn’t like he had much to do with the actual practicing anyway, but that day it pissed Keishin off. He was doing this stupid coaching thing, on top of his full time job, because Takeda asked him to, and now he couldn’t even enjoy a good one night stand and sleep off a mild hangover because he had to be babysitting bratty kids at 6:30 am, meanwhile Takeda did whatever he pleased.

When practice ended and Takeda hadn’t even ducked his head in the gym to say hello, Keishin decided to pay him a visit instead. It took him a minute to find his office, he hadn’t been inside the school in more than five years, but eventually he found the door. Inside the office, Takeda was sitting at his desk talking to some man. The man was tall, old, maybe not that old but his hair was at least starting to go gray, and definitely gay. He was leaning on Takeda’s desk casually, smiling down at him in a cheesy, overtly flirty way.

“Mornin’ Sensei,” Keishin grinned as he walked into the office, “We missed you at practice this morning,” he shot a wary look to the old man, “having fun without us?”  
“Ukai-san,” Takeda looked surprised to see him, “Um, oh, sorry about that, I had some grading to do, I thought I’d leave you to it.”  
“Practice?” the tall man asked.  
“Ah, I sponsor the boys’ volleyball team here,” Takeda explained with a sweet smile.  
The man responded with a smile of his own, “Is there anything you don’t do?”  
Takeda laughed at the unfunny compliment, and Keishin couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes. He was sure the teacher would claim none of this was flirting, but he was equally sure the other man thought the opposite.

For a second no one spoke. It seemed the old man was waiting for Keishin to leave so he could finish his conversation with Takeda. Keishin was doing the same thing. Finally Takeda stood up.  
“Um, I’m really sorry Kushieda-san, I think I have to go, class is about to start” he explained to his visitor, “Can we continue this conversation another time?”  
“How about over dinner?” The man smiled.  
“Sounds great! You have my email?”  
The man nodded, “I’ll email you tonight then.”  
Takeda smiled, then turned to Keishin briefly, “See you after school, Ukai-san.”

Keishin barely managed a goodbye as Takeda walked out of the room. He didn’t say anything when the man addressed him before he left too. It wasn’t until both of them were gone that he couldn’t hold back any more. He started laughing.

* * *

“There’s no way you’re that stupid,” Ukai insisted, “You seriously think that man’s straight.”  
After school practice was about to start, but Ukai had pounced on Ittetsu the minute he arrived at the gym, clearly desperate to talk about what had happened that morning.  
“He’s a father, Ukai,” Ittetsu rebutted, “He has two children, he wasn’t hitting on me.”  
“Oh, he was definitely hitting on you,” Ukai had a goofy, amused, grin on his face, “I can’t believe he asked you to dinner. In front of me no less. I can’t believe you said yes.”  
“It’s dinner with a parent of a student. His daughter’s struggling in my class and he came to me to talk about what he should do. That’s all.”  
“Oh, so that’s all you talked about?”  
“Yes.”  
“Liar. You were laughing when I came in. You’re telling me you were laughing about your student’s failing grades? Or was it her father’s concern for her that was so hilarious?”  
Ittetsu made an exasperated noise, like he was trying to argue with an imbecile, “He was telling me a story. I was being nice. What? When you have work related conversations you don’t smile?”  
“I mean, I do if I’m trying to fuck the person I’m talking to.”  
Ittetsu rolled his eyes, “I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you Ukai-san, but not everyone’s as perverted as you.”  
Ukai looked at Ittetsu for a second before shrugging, “Maybe not everyone, but that guy sure is.”

Then he left the gym for his daily pre-practice smoke. Ittetsu only had a minute to be confused about the conversation before students started arriving. When Ukai returned to the gym a little smile was the only indication that the conversation wasn’t finished before the coach started rounding up the players for a meeting and then stretching.

He couldn’t believe Ukai was still on this whole, “men want to sleep with you” thing. Especially with Kushieda-san. He was just a normal dad. Sure he was divorced, but he’d been married up until two years ago. Ittetsu had met his ex-wife. He was a straight man, and even if he wasn’t he was not interested in Ittetsu. No one was. Ukai was the only one.

Even that, though.  
Ittetsu looked over at Ukai, who was going over positions and rotations with the team. Immediately he met Ittetsu’s gaze and flashed him a quick smile before continuing his speech. It was a lazy, casual smile, that just so happened to be more charming and enticing than the best smile Takeda would ever be able to manage. He hated to admit it, but Ukai was handsome. Not just handsome, he was hot. He was tall, well built, and his smile was the kind that models trained to get just right. If anything he was the last person who should have a crush on Ittetsu.

Realization weighed on him. What if it was all just a joke? What Ukai wasn’t exaggerating, but completely outright lying? That would make a lot more sense. Ukai had probably never found Ittetsu attractive, never wanted to fuck him, never thought anyone else did. He probably thought Ittetsu was so ugly it would be obvious it was a joke. It probably should have been. Ittetsu couldn’t believe he’d taken it seriously. He couldn’t believe he’d believed it, he’d been excited by it, he’d… He didn’t want to think about what he’d done, all because of something that was so clearly a joke, so clearly made to embarrass him. 

His phone chimed. A new email. It was Kushieda, he wanted to know if tomorrow was ok for dinner. Tomorrow was Saturday, which was kind of weird for a dinner meeting. Saturday was more for dates, wasn’t it? Ittetsu had to shake himself. He was letting Ukai’s stupid prank get to him again. Kushieda didn’t want to fuck him, no one wanted to fuck him, this dinner was, at worst, bribery to get his daughter a better grade. Kushieda didn’t want to fuck him.

Except Kushieda did want to fuck him. He had since the day they’d met. His daughter was failing Japanese literature just like she was failing three other classes, just like she’d been failing Japanese literature last year, before the final boosted her grade. None of the rest of her teachers got dinner invitations though. When Takeda responded to his invitation in under a minute, telling him to confirm the reservation, Kushieda more or less thought he was in.

* * *

It had been a while since Takeda had gone on a date, probably over a year now that he was thinking about it, but he was pretty sure they were similar to this. When he’d arrived at the restaurant, he had to insist on making his own way there because Kushieda kept offering to pick him up, the atmosphere of the place was not what he’d expected. The lights were dim and the room was full of lively chatter and smooth jazz piano. The waiter brought him to a small table by the window, where Kushieda was waiting for him. He smiled when Ittetsu arrived, and got up out of his seat to greet him. Ittetsu could imagine Ukai leaning against the wall behind him, a smug smile of his face saying, “still think it’s not a date?”

Ittetsu had to admit it was a weird setting for a conversation about school. All the tables around them were couples, most of the lighting came from the single flickering candle at the center of their table, and it was too loud to have a serious discussion. Still, that probably just meant the meal was more about bribery than advice. Kushieda would order them a nice dinner, then, as he pulled out his credit card he would say, “so we can do something about Miya’s grade, right?” That’s what it was about. It still wasn’t a date.

As the meal progressed Ittetsu noticed a couple things that he was sure Ukai would tease him about if he saw. Kushieda leaned almost halfway over the table as they talked, but that was probably just because it was so noisy. He insisted Ittetsu try a bite of his meal, but his food was really good. Ittetsu gave him a bite off his plate in return, but that was just common courtesy. There were a couple times that their feet touched under the table, and Ittetsu always had to be the one to pull his foot away, but that was probably just because Kushieda didn’t notice those things. He probably wasn’t overanalyzing stupid things like Ittetsu was. Because he didn’t have some stupid jock trying to convince him he was the object of mens’ desires like Ittetsu did.

When the waiter cleared their plates after dinner, she asked them if they wanted dessert.  
“What do you think, Takeda-Sensei?” Kushieda smiled, “Maybe we should get dessert somewhere else. Ice cream, perhaps?”  
Now that sounded distinctly date-like.  
“Oh, I don’t know,” Takeda delayed, trying to think of an excuse.  
“You don’t like ice cream?” Kushieda asked, “We could do something else. Crepes? Buns? Coffee?”  
“Sorry, so, should I get you the dessert menu, or just the bill?” The waitress interjected.  
Ittetsu looked between his not-date and the waitress. He really didn’t want to keep her while they discussed dessert options, but he knew it would take more than a couple seconds to convince Kushieda of anything.  
“The bill would be great, thank you,” he turned to smile at Kushieda, “We can just get ice cream.”

When they were in Kushieda’s car, he apparently knew a great ice cream place and it was apparently too far to walk. Ittetsu was running out of excuses for the strange romantic atmosphere. Kushieda had insisted on paying for dinner, but he still hadn’t brought up his daughter. Not even once.  
“So, about Miyako,” Ittetsu started.  
“Oh yeah,” Kushieda smiled, as if he’d forgotten, “I wanted to say I’m really sorry she’s causing you so much trouble.”  
“Oh, she’s no trouble Kushieda-san,” Ittetsu insisted, “I just worry she’s not connecting with the material.”  
Kushieda looked over at him as they stopped at a red light, “Come on, we’re friends now, you can drop the formalities.”  
Ittetsu blinked, a couple times, “Oh, ok. Um, is Kushieda ok then?”  
He smiled, turning his head back to the road as the light turned green, “I’d prefer Yasushi.”  
Ittetsu swallowed. Was that his given name? Did a person’s child’s teacher normally call them by their given name?  
“I think I’ll stick with Kushieda if that’s alright.”  
“You really are a stickler for rules aren’t you?”  
Ittetsu faked a smile.  
“Ok, I guess I’ll call you Takeda then.”

Ittetsu tried three times to get out of it, but eventually Kushieda got him to the ice cream shop. He wasn’t sure what to do from there. If he offered to pay then he was sure he’d be contributing to the date-like atmosphere, but Kushieda had already paid for dinner, and he was sure he wasn’t going to let them pay separately. The look Kushieda gave him when he insisted he pay made Ittetsu regret the decision, though.

He really didn’t want Ukai to be right, he definitely didn’t want to embarrass himself assuming Ukai was right if he was wrong, but as they walked down the street licking ice cream cones, Ittetsu had to admit it was a date. He looked carefully over at Kushieda. He supposed he was somewhat handsome, better looking than a lot of men his age, and in better shape too, but he had to be at least in his fifties. Did he have a thing for younger guys, or was there something else about Ittetsu he liked? It felt strange to think. That this man really was interested in him. That he had asked him to dinner under false pretenses. 

Finally he caught Takeda staring. He grinned.  
“Want to try a bite?” He offered, holding his matcha ice cream out in front of him.  
“Oh, no thank you,” Ittetsu bowed his head to break the uncomfortable eye contact, “I’m not a fan of matcha flavoured sweets.”  
“Oh really?” Kushieda drifted closer, “Tell me more about what you like.”  
Ittetsu put a hand on his neck, hoping more than anything that swinging his elbow like that would get Kushieda to back off from his side. Ok, Ukai was right. He had been right all along. Ittetsu was stupid and should have realised earlier but Ukai was right. Kushieda wanted to fuck him.

Ittetsu peeked at his watch. It was actually earlier than he’d thought, the night seemed to be dragging on forever, but still he wanted to leave.  
“It’s getting pretty late, I should probably get home.”  
“Oh come on,” Kushieda smiled, “It’s only, what, nine? And it’s a Saturday night, what’s the hurry?”  
It was all true, he really had nowhere to be, but this outing was becoming more like a date by the minute and Ittetsu wanted to leave while he could still claim he’d been unaware.  
“I- I have church in the morning.”  
Technically it wasn’t a lie, he just wasn’t planning on going. He’d only gone to the Sunday service maybe twice in the past year. Still, it was the best excuse he could think of.  
“Church?”  
It probably wouldn’t hurt for Kushieda to think he was a devout Christian, too. That wasn’t normally a precursor to sex.  
“You can’t miss it once,” his voice was low as he said this, Ittetsu was willing to bet it was supposed to be seductive, “For me?”  
Ittetsu immediately let out a nervous, breathy laugh.  
“Um, no, I can’t,” he really could, “I should get home.”  
Kushieda sighed, “Ok, well, at least let me drive you back.”  
Ittetsu tried to decline, but Kushieda insisted, and to be honest, he didn’t really want to pay for a taxi anyway. 

Again, he regretted his decision. God, he was making bad decisions tonight. Kushieda pulled the move Ittetsu had seen in countless romantic dramas, the _let’s pull over here and admire the view_.  
“Oh I really should just get home.”  
“Takeda, it’s hardly past dark, let’s just sit for a minute,” Kushieda pushed, “Or, do you really hate me that much you can’t stand to be around me.”  
“No, no of course not-”  
“Good,” Kushieda put the car in park.  
For a second there was silence. Ittetsu didn’t want to break it. He thought maybe if it was awkward enough Kushieda would pick up the hint that he didn’t want to be there and actually drive him home. He didn’t, though.  
“I’m glad you agreed to come today,” he turned his whole body to face Ittetsu, “I was running out of excuses to visit your office.”  
Ittetsu coughed. Ok so this was flirting. Everything up until now had probably been flirting too, but this was definitely flirting. The kind even Ittetsu could identify. The kind he guessed anyone with eyes and ears could identify. You probably didn’t even need both.  
“E- Excuses?”  
He leaned close, too close. Ittetsu was still pressed in his chair, but Kushieda was leaning over far enough that he could hear his breathing. Maybe it was just loud because he was so old.  
“What can I say,” he murmured, “I wanted to see your pretty face.”  
Ittetsu stared straight ahead, out the windshield, trying his best not to freak out. Kushieda was hitting on him. Aggressively. No one had ever flirted with him aggressively before. No one had ever wanted him like this before. But Ittetsu wasn’t interested in him, right? He was old, and kind of corny, and he had long nose hairs. And Ittetsu wasn’t gay. For some reason he had to remind himself of that last fact.  
“Look, Kushieda-san-”  
Before he could finish the man had turned Ittetsu’s head toward him and pressed his mouth to his. Before he knew what was happening Kushieda had forced his lips apart with his tongue. Before he could react Ittetsu was being kissed like he’d never been kissed before. Deeply, passionately, sexually. Before he realised what he was doing, he was kissing him back.

Seconds passed before Ittetsu suddenly wrenched his eyes open. What was he thinking? He sharply shoved Kushieda off him.  
“I- I think there’s been a misunderstanding,” he yanked open his door, “I should go.”  
“Wait, Takeda,” Kushieda called, but Ittetsu was already out of the car.  
He quickly made his way back to the main street, ignoring his racing heart, and hailed a taxi. What had he just done? He’d just kissed a man. He’d gone on a date with a man he didn’t even like and then kissed him. What the hell was he thinking?


	3. Beginnings

“You were right,” Takeda handed Keishin a large black coffee, much like the one he was drinking, the second he arrived at the gym on Monday morning.  
“Huh?”  
“You were right,” he repeated, “About Kushieda. He asked me to dinner on Saturday.”  
Keishin took a second to process. It was early in the morning and he had no idea who Kushieda was.  
“Oh, the old man,” he finally remembered, “From your office. Yeah, don’t go to dinner with him.”  
Takeda just averted his eyes.  
“No,” Keishin held back a laugh, “Don’t tell me you already went?”  
Takeda looked up at him guiltily, and Keishin’s laugh broke free.  
“You saw him Friday, I told you he was gay, and you went to dinner with him the next day?”  
“I thought you were making fun of me.”  
Keishin just laughed, “When did you figure out it was a date?”  
“Um, when he asked me to get ice cream with him after dinner.”  
Keishin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He could picture the whole thing. That poor old man probably thought he scored a hot date and Takeda was completely oblivious. It was the funniest thing he’d heard in a long time.  
“I can’t believe you made it through a whole meal. And I can’t believe he asked you to get ice cream.”  
Takeda averted his gaze again.  
“No,” Keishin laughed, “Don’t tell me you got ice cream with him too?”  
Takeda didn’t answer.  
“You left right after that, though, right?”  
“I…”  
“Oh my god, you slept with him?”  
“No!” Takeda’s eyes shot wide, “No, no, of course not! What are you talking about? I didn’t sleep with him!”  
Keishin eyed him suspiciously.  
After a second Takeda sighed, “he kissed me.”  
Keishin snorted.  
“It’s not funny! I was traumatized!”  
“You were?” Keishin smirked, “You sure you didn’t like it? I mean you sat through an entire date you must have been expecting something.”  
“No I didn’t like it, are you kidding? He’s gross, and old!”  
Keishin waited a beat for Takeda to change his answer before he leaned in close and dropped his voice to a low rumble, “So, you’d like it if it was someone young?”  
Takeda's face flushed a bright red, and his eyes went huge, “What? No. I just meant- I- I’m not gay!”  
Again Keishin chuckled, and he tapped the teacher’s cheeks in a mock supportive gesture.  
“Sure you aren’t.”

“So you kissed him and then left him hanging,” Ukai confirmed.  
“No I didn’t-”  
“Poor grandpa Kushieda.”  
“Ok, he wasn’t-”  
“Probably had a hotel room booked and everything.”  
“What?”  
“Men like that always do hotels. Too classy for a motel, but can’t take you home or you’ll have to meet the wife and kids.”  
“He’s not married.”  
“He’s not? You have a chance then, Sensei.”  
“I- I told you I don’t like him! I’m not gay!”

It was at that point that the students started flooding in the gym, and their conversation was brought to its end. Honestly Ittetsu was glad for it. He regretted telling Ukai about the date in the first place. It was just, there was no one else he could tell. Plus, he still wasn’t sure if the coach was joking about him being attractive or not. Part of him wanted to tell him Kushieda actually was into him, see how he reacted. He thought if it was all just a joke maybe he’d be surprised. Maybe he’d realise Ittetsu wasn’t so repulsive after all. He didn’t seem surprised though. He seemed like he really did expect this. Like he really did think there were men that found Ittetsu attractive. Like maybe he really did find him attractive too.

* * *

Keishin supposed maybe he shouldn’t be shocked by the story Takeda told him. He knew Kushieda was into him, he knew Takeda didn’t believe him when he said that, he knew Takeda had a hard time saying no, but he just couldn’t believe it had gone that far. He couldn’t believe that man had kissed him. He had a suspicion the teacher didn’t hate it quite as much as he said he did. He had a suspicion he liked, at the very least, the attention. The way he blushed when he talked about it, the way he searched Keishin’s eyes for a reaction, said he at least had some conflicting feelings.

A part of Keishin was bitter. He hated that Takeda didn’t trust him. That he’d gone out with the guy he’d explicitly told him he shouldn’t go out with. He hated that he put himself in danger like that without a second though.  
The more petty side of him was pissed off that Takeda let that grimy old sleazebag get further with him than Keishin had. He hated that some dad got to be the first man Takeda ever kissed just because he didn’t know how to take no for an answer.  
Still he was glad Takeda told him. It was already too easy to tease him, but this would be good material for weeks.

“So, you gonna call him back today, or wait the traditional three days?” Keishin asked a little later into their practice.  
“Make sure you don’t eat too much on your next date,” he advised a little later, “And definitely no dairy.”  
“And make sure he doesn’t drink too much,” he added, “You know what kind of problems alcohol can cause old guys like him.”  
Every time Keishin teased him Takeda would look like he was steaming, but he rarely had much of a response. 

The next day Takeda didn’t come to the morning practice, so Ukai grinned at him the second he walked in the gym after school.  
“Another dad come in for office hours this morning?”  
The question in itself was harmless, but Ittetsu knew exactly what was implied. He didn’t answer but he gave Ukai a tried look out of the side of hs eye.  
“Wow, only went on one date and you’re cheating on that poor grandpa already.”  
“Its-” Takeda paused, as if deciding what part of Ukai’s claim he wanted to rebut first, but in the end he just gave up.  
“And with another grandpa too! Is that why you don’t want me? Is your type old men?”  
He didn’t know why, but Ittetsu liked that joke better than the other ones.

As the jokes continued Ittetsu found he was less and less embarrassed by them. He still got pissed off, still defended himself, but honestly he was starting to not mind so much. Worse, he was starting to do little things, make little comments, that he knew Ukai would tease him about. At first he didn’t know why he did it, but it would make him weirdly satisfied when he said something he knew Ukai would tease him about and it worked, Ukai teased him. He thought maybe it was just some sort of control thing, he liked that he knew when they were coming.

He couldn’t claim that for long. A few weeks after the stupid date, after the Kushieda jokes got tired, a new strain of comments emerged about whether or not Ittetsu was trying to seduce Ukai, and it became obvious exactly why he liked the teasing. Why he was trying to draw them out of Ukai. When Ukai drew his eyes slowly over Ittetsu’s body when he bent over to grab a volleyball and let out a whistle.  
“Now just what are you trying to do to me, Sensei?”  
It turned Ittetsu on. 

That was the only reason he egged Ukai on like that. The only reason he stopped minding the teasing. Probably it was the only reason he’d told the coach about his date in the first place. The only reason he hadn’t told him from the first day that any kind of jokes like that were inappropriate. He liked it when Ukai teased him. He liked the sparkle in his eye, the amused little smile. He liked thinking Ukai wanted him, was attracted to him. Even if he probably was actually only doing it to piss Ittetsu off.

Realising this put Ittetsu in a slightly strange position. He had claimed for so long that he wasn’t gay. People had been asking him since highschool. He’d had girlfriends in the past, he didn’t think he’d been attracted to a man outside of an objective admiration, though he’d originally thought that’s what his attraction to Keishin was, and now, what? He didn’t know if he wanted to fuck Ukai, but he knew he loved the idea of Ukai wanting to fuck him. More and more everyday as he drew out more and more dirty jokes, pretending to be shocked and offended every time, Takeda learned he _really_ loved the idea of Ukai wanting to fuck him.

The idea he landed on, that he would accept, is that he didn’t necessarily want to have sex with him, but if he ever made the approach, if he ever tried pushing the boundaries, if he ever truly, without joking, came onto him, there was no way Takeda would say no. 

Keishin wasn’t aware of this shift. He knew it was fun to tease Takeda, and he had always thought the teacher was at least a little bit attracted to him, but he didn’t understand just how much he was being played. Just how carefully orchestrated Takeda’s little innocent comments were, and his absent minded actions. Keishin knew he was lying at least a little bit when he got all worked up about the jokes. He knew there was a part of him that enjoyed them, he just didn’t know it was the entire part. He definitely didn’t know that Takeda went home and masturbated thinking of him.

Things might have been different if he knew. He might have flirted more, teased in different ways. He might have pushed Takeda even harder out of his shell, but he thought he was still just a deeply closeted, sexually repressed man. He thought he genuinely did believe he was straight. He thought he genuinely would be creeped out if Ukai actually pursued him. Keishin was happy to take risks, but he wasn’t the type to chase, and he thought Ittetsu would try to play hard-to-get. It just didn’t interest him.

* * *

It was during the interhigh tournament when it happened. On the third day, when Karasuno lost, and after their sad, silent dinner, Ukai suggested the adults go for drinks. Ittetsu normally wasn’t a big drinker, but it had been a stressful day, and he’d just be depressed if he went home early. There was a reason he wasn’t a big drinker though. In college he used to go out drinking with friends all the time and each time without fail, Ittetsu had to be carried home. He was insanely lightweight, and he had no disdain for the taste of alcohol, so he would always drink way more than he should. Now, much later in life, he had more confidence in himself. His confidence was misplaced.

When Ukai stepped out of the bar, just past midnight, for a smoke, no one stopped Ittetsu from stumbling after him. When the automatic door slid open, Ittetsu stepped out onto the sidewalk and already had forgotten what he was doing. He didn’t know where Ukai was and the world kept tilting back and forth. His eyes landed on a bright McDonalds sign down the street. Maybe he could get an ice cream cone. He was stumbling along the sidewalk when he felt a heavy hand drop on his shoulder.

“What’cha doin big guy?”  
The smell of tobacco and beer washed over him, and Ittetsu spun around.  
“Ukai-san!” he wrapped his arms around the coach’s waist and snuggled close to his chest.  
“Oh god, you’re wasted,” Ukai laughed.  
He took the last drag of his cigarette and flicked it into the road before he put a hand on the teacher’s forehead and gently pushed him back.  
“You can’t hold me so close, Sensei, I might get the wrong idea.”  
Ittetsu made a defiant noise and pushed back against Ukai’s hand, resting his head on his chest again. It felt good. He was big and warm and though Ittetsu couldn’t exactly say he smelt good, something about his scent was familiar, addictive.  
“Yeah right,” he murmured into the coach’s soft sweatshirt, “I know you aren’t actually into me.”

Ukai put his hands on each of Ittetsu’s shoulders, pushing him away with more force this time and holding him out about a foot in front of him. He was smiling the way he always did when he was amused by something Ittetsu said, and he was looking at him like he knew his soul.  
“I'm not?” he asked with a teasing raised eyebrow, “How’d you come to that conclusion?”  
Ittetsu held his stare. If he was sober, this would be the point where he would get flustered and run away before he said something he would regret, but he wasn’t sober, he was drunk, and he was going to say whatever the hell he wanted.  
“If you really found me hot you would have fucked me already.”

Ukai laughed, gave him a look, then shook his head in disbelief, before stepping just a couple inches closer and leaning his head down to look at Ittetsu closely. The teacher’s heart was pounding, but he didn’t look away. He was determined to hold Ukai’s gaze.  
“And you would have let me?”  
Ittetsu shuttered. He could feel Ukai’s hot breath on his face with each word.  
“Takeda-san,” Ittetsu’d heart pounded at the sound of his own name in Ukai’s voice, “Do you want me to fuck you?”

Ittetsu couldn’t think. Not with Ukai’s face an inch away from his. Not with his eyes boring deep into him. Not with the words he’d just uttered hanging all around them. Ittetsu had no idea what he should say, but he wasn’t going to look away. Not this time.

Ukai’s hand was firm but gentle as he moved it from Ittetsu’s shoulder to his jaw. It slowly dragged down his face, his thumb brushing over his lips as it moved to grab his chin. It pushed up, tilting Ittetsu’s head back just a little more, then tugged lightly, parting his lips. Then Ukai paused, his mouth less than a centimetre from Ittetsu’s, so close they were breathing the same air.  
“I’m going to need to hear you say yes.”  
His voice was a low, breathless mumble, and Ittetsu felt like he could feel the vibrations better than he could even hear them. He wanted to melt away in Ukai’s warmth. In his deep voice and strong hands and commanding confidence. He wanted him to kiss him until he forgot his own name. He wanted him to touch him in places he’d never been touched before. He wanted to give himself to him and let him do with him what he pleased.  
“Yes,” he breathed, “I want you to fuck me.”

It was satisfying to hear, so Keishin let himself smile one more time before he closed the tiny distance still left between him and the teacher. He let his tongue slip between his soft lips, and Takeda happily took it. Maybe it was because he was drunk, but Takeda wasn’t half as submissive as Keishin would have thought. The second they were kissing Takeda was like an animal, to the point where Keishin broke the kiss for a second to softly mumble, “slowly.” There was no point where it was bad though. It was hot and deep and passionate, and it made Keishin wonder how long Takeda had been waiting for a kiss like this. How long had he been waiting for Keishin to kiss him?

They didn’t kiss for long, at least, not long enough, but Takeda’s hands were already snaking their way under Keishin’s sweater, and he thought it would be best if they moved somewhere less public. Somewhere where his friends and students’ sister couldn’t come out and catch them at any minute.  
“Motel?” Keishin mumbled.  
Takeda looked up at him through half lowered eyelids, “huh?” he looked disheveled, but somehow more sober than before, “no, let’s go to my place.”


	4. Instincts

The taxi ride was… interesting to say the least.  
Keishin couldn’t say he hated having Takeda draped over him like a throw blanket, he couldn’t say he hated it at all, but it definitely wasn’t like him. The driver kept shooting them looks in the rearview mirror, and Keishin made an effort to keep himself calm, facing straight forward, but it was hard when Takeda’s hands were sliding up and down his body. He could feel the teachers eyes on him, hungry. He could feel them taking in every inch of him. He could feel them pause on the lump in his thin track pants. He could feel Takeda’s shaky breath when they did.

There had definitely been points when he could tell Ittetsu wanted him. Points when it was clear he was holding something back, but Keishin had never expected this to be that something. He had never expected him of being this excited, this desperate, this hot. When Takeda’s head rolled back and his eyes met Keishin’s again, he had a little smile on. He had this twisted little smile, and Keishin could only think this must be some kind of karma. Some kind of retribution for the weeks of teasing. Takeda was going to make him take responsibility for what he’d done. 

Takeda stumbled out of the taxi when they arrived at his building, leaving Keishin to pay. When the coach joined him he was at his door, flipping through his keychain, taking a little longer than he should need to find the right key. When he did find it his hand wobbled as it approached the lock.  
“Give it.”  
Keishin took the key and opened the door for him, turning to find Takeda looking at him with an unbridled lust in his eyes. He pushed him through the open doorway with a kiss. An aggressive one that made Keishin forget he was the one who pursued Takeda first. Ukai reached out an arm to close the door behind him as Takeda backed him into the wall, his own small hands pressed firmly on Keishin’s chest. 

As they kissed, Ittetsu’s hands found their way down to the gap between Ukai’s sweatshirt and his pants. His fingers would stretch up his back, then around and into his waistband. Ukai kept a hand firmly on the teacher’s waist, and another one around his neck. Most of his hand cradled the back of his neck, gently, though his thumb reached around to the front, and when Ittetsu pushed his luck a little too far with his little wandering hands Keishin pressed slowly into his windpipe, reminding him who was in charge.

Finally though, Takeda was bold, and his hands found their way distinctly under Keishin’s underwear. Immediately Keishin pushed him back, and Takeda looked up at him with this face like a sad puppy.  
“You don’t like it?”  
Keishin laughed, “You think that’s the problem?”  
“Then why?” the teacher almost looked like he was pouting.  
It’s not like he was surprised, he’d known it since the day they’d first met, but holy shit Takeda was hot. Holy shit he wanted to rail him until he couldn’t remember his own name. But he couldn’t, not yet at least.  
“You’re still drunk,” he explained, “You should sober up first. I don’t want you regretting anything.”  
“I’m not that drunk.”  
Keishin ran a hand through Ittetsu’s messy hair, pushing his head back so he would look Keishin in the eye instead of zoning out on his lips, “Sensei, you’re drunk.”  
He dropped Ittetsu’s head and started taking off his shoes, “Plus, we should shower anyway. You can go first.”  
Takeda followed suit, taking off his shoes, and then snuggled up behind Ukai, wrapping his arms loosely around his waist. His hand lightly pushed over the mound in Keishin’s pants as it swung.  
“We could shower together,” he murmured over his shoulder.  
Keishin grabbed Ittetsu’s arms and spun around to face him. He raised their arms above their heads, tugging Ittetsu closer to him as he did.  
“I told you,” he growled from only inches in front of Takeda’s face, “I’m not doing anything until you’re sober.”

* * *

It was a bit of an effort, but Ukai eventually got Ittetsu in the shower. Like the coach suspected, he did start to sober up when he got in there, and he started realising what he’d done. His hands brushed over his lips, remembering the way they had felt when Ukai first touched them, when he pushed them open with his tongue, when he took the bottom one between his teeth and pulled. The kiss with Kushieda was like a peck on the cheek compared to that. He was still hard, he had been since before they got into the taxi. Of course, his little bump under his jeans was nothing compared to the way Ukai stretched those track pants. 

The hot water was still washing over him, though thoughts of cleanliness were pushed to the back of his mind as Takeda rubbed a finger over his asshole. He had yet to see the whole thing, but he could now say, with absolute certainty, that Ukai’s dick was fucking huge. And that fucking massive thing was going to, very soon, be inside him. Slippery from a little bit of soap, Takeda let his finger slip into his hole. It felt weird. It felt good. He let his other hand find his cock as his finger rubbed inside him. Doing his best to relax, he pulled the hole open to push a second finger inside. He tried to picture Ukai’s cock as he did it. He would definitely need to be able to take more than two fingers.

When he finally left the bathroom, after long enough that Ukai must have known he was doing more than just cleaning, he found the coach sitting at his kitchen table, two mugs in front of him.  
“Here,” Ukai stood and offered him the more full one, “I found some tea in your cabinet, I thought it would help you get sober.”  
Ittetsu couldn’t help but blush at seeing his face again. Remembering all the things they’d done, imagining all the things they would do.  
“Thanks.”  
He took the mug from him without looking him in the eye.  
“Hey,” Keishin put a hand under his chin and forced him to face him, “You’re not regretting this, are you?”  
Ittetsu’s stomach flipped as Keishin’s eyes stared directly into his. He couldn’t speak, but he shook his head.  
“Good,” Ukai pulled him into a kiss, and Takeda tightened his grip on the small towel that was the only thing that stood between him and bare nudity, “I’ll go wash up.”

The tea was slightly bitter. Apparently brewing wasn’t one of Ukai’s skills, but it was still a nice gesture, and the little bit of caffeine did a good job of finishing what the shower started. By the time Ukai emerged from the steaming bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, Ittetsu was perfectly sober. Perfectly conscious of every line of the coach’s big, muscular chest. He bit his lip as Keishin walked toward him, eyes fixed on his.

There was no way Takeda could take his eyes off Ukai as he approached, so by the time he was standing over him, Takeda’s head was tilted right up to his. The sensation of their kiss pulsed through Ittestsu’s entire body and every inch of him ached for this man. Their tongues touched and Ittetsu felt a yearning so sharp it almost registered as pain. His hips rolled forward, out of his chair. Ukai’s hands slid down him, settling right at the point where his thighs met his ass. Ittetsu flinched as Keishin lifted him by his legs. Ittetsu wrapped his arms tightly around the coach’s neck, terrified that he was too heavy, that he would be dropped.

He wasn’t too heavy though. He was light. He was comfortable. Keishin would be happy to hold him like this all day. As he turned to where he’d seen the bedroom, Takeda’s towel began slipping through his arms. They didn’t stop it. They could barely think to care. At least one of them had their mouth on the other the entire time they walked. Licking and sucking and nibbling around every inch of each other they could reach. By the time they reached the bed, there was nothing between the two of them. Their towels lost somewhere in the halls. Their bodies grinded at each other and in that moment Ittetsu thought he finally knew the meaning of the word sex. The way it was supposed to feel. 

When he was lying on the bed, Takeda on top of him, Keishin finally broke the kiss. He held the teacher six inches from his face, looking deep into his eyes as if trying to communicate something telepathically. Ittetsu thought he got the memo. He pushed back from the coach, only to crawl a couple steps backwards and hover his mouth over the very end of his stomach. He took a second to look up at Ukai, expecting to tease a little, but he’d forgotten who he was dealing with.  
“Turn around.”  
“What?”  
“Bring your ass over here,” a small smile played at Keishin’s lips, “then I’ll get a nice view as you’re sucking me off.”  
Takeda took a minute to process everything that line made him feel. He checked to see the coach wasn’t fucking with him, but he couldn’t bring himself to say no. Not when that sounded like the most amazing thing he would ever experience. 

He crawled around, spreading his legs over Ukai’s chest. He’d never done it before, but some sort of instinct came to him the second Keishin’s dick was as close to his face as it now was. His mouth moved for it immediately, and a shudder of relief ran over him as he ran his tongue over its length. Then again when he finally wrapped his lips around it. The feeling of cock pushing around in his mouth was certainly stimulating enough, but the extra push of the large, muscular hands gripping the back of his ass, spreading it just enough that Ukai could probably see whatever he wanted, was really the cherry on top. He supposed it shouldn’t be, given that he’d had long sexual relationships in his life, but the was the most erotic thing he’d ever done. Every second of this was closer to sex than the missonary he used to be doing.

Keishin was enjoying the blowjob, and didn’t want to distract Takeda from his task, but the truth is, his little, virgin asshole was less than a foot from his face and it was all he could really think about. He couldn’t resist pushing him apart with his thumbs and touching him with his tongue. He could feel the teacher flinch the second he made contact. His breath quickened over Keishin’s dick and left the man with no choice but to let his tongue flatten over his hole. He was just so cute, and so perverted.

It took Takeda a second to adjust to the new feeling and regain his rhythm, but the second he did Keishin decided to push him just a little more. With one last little nibble, he pulled his mouth from Takeda’s ass, replacing it instead, with a finger. Again Ittetsu shivered as he pushed it inside, but it went in easier than Ukai had expected. In fact, he was going to wait a bit, but he could put a second finger in almost immediately.  
“Did you loosen this up for me?”  
Keeping a steady rhythm with his finger, Keishin flopped his head over to the side, to look down at Takeda’s face, which was bobbing over his dick.  
“Or, did Kushieda have that pleasure?”  
The second he said it Takeda made a noise, but it was gagged out by the thing filling up his mouth. He let Keishin’s cock drop out of his mouth as he turned to look back.  
“I told you I didn’t-” his desperate defense was interrupted by Keishin’s fingers finding what he thought would be the right spot.  
Evidently his guess was correct, because Takeda let out a sound unlike anything he’d ever made in his life. His body instantly folded and his head collapsed to Keishin’s leg. Keishin grinned, rubbing harder at the spot and enjoying watching Takeda’s eyes roll back in his head. He reached his free hand down and rustled it through his short, messy hair, and the teacher leaned into the touch like a cat being pet. It was adorable.

“Feels good?”  
Takeda’s breathing was heavy, and it cut off any attempts he made to speak, so he could only respond by nodding.  
“I know, I know,” Ukai murmured softly, before tightening his grip on Takeda’s hair and lifting him up off his leg, “But that doesn’t mean you can stop what you were doing.”  
Takeda gave him a pathetic little look, but he lifted himself up on shaky arms, and got back to work sucking his dick.

It felt amazing. Takeda was clearly having fun with his fingers, so he wasn’t able to keep any sort of consistent rhythm, but somehow Ukai didn’t mind. It was like he was using Keishin’s cock as a gag, moaning onto it. It wasn’t entirely clear what he was trying to do with his tongue, but the absolute chaos of it felt kind of good, especially because Keishin knew the reason he wasn’t able to focus. And he was able to control it. When he pushed harder into him, Takeda would shake. When he withdrew a little Takeda would start to pick up his rhythm again. When he finally was able to insert a third finger Takeda didn’t move for a solid ten seconds.

It was a fun little game, but eventually Ukai was starting to get bored. He was ready for something new, though he thought it would be mean if he didn’t let Ittetsu finish first, so he wrapped his free arm around to jack the teacher off. He must have been right on the edge for a good long while, because nearly the second Keishin touched him there was hot cum splattered over his chest. Takeda immediately sat up.

“Oh, oh my god, I’m so sorry, I-”  
Ukai just laughed. Did he always apologize after cumming?  
“Why are you sorry?”  
“I,” Takeda’s wide eyes rolled over Ukai’s body, as he crawled off of him, “I made a mess, and I came so fast, and you haven’t even-”  
Keishin pulled him in by his neck and kissed him hard.  
“Oh, it’s going to get a lot more messy before we’re done.”

* * *

It took them a minute to get organized. Takeda, after being more or less celibate since his last breakup, didn’t have any condoms in his room. He definitely didn’t have any lube. Luckily Keishin always carried a condom in his wallet. He wished he had more than one. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, Takeda straddling him, when he ripped open the package. He sucked at the teacher’s chest as he rolled the condom on, just listening to the breathy moans it caused. When he was finally ready, he looked up at his partner.

“You ready?”  
Ittetsu’s breathing was heavy, and he let his eyes drop to the dick in front of him. Was he ready for that to go inside him? To stretch him out until he could take it? Could anyone really be ready for something like that? Still, he wanted it, craved it, needed it. So, he nodded carefully. 

Keishin smiled, “You want to put it in?”  
Ittetsu considered the dick for a minute more before looking up at Keishin’s face.  
“I don’t know how,” he admitted.  
Keishin didn’t know exactly why he found it so cute. He would normally be frustrated by an inexperienced partner, but right now he couldn’t bring himself to care.  
“It’s ok,” he mumbled against Takeda’s chest, holding him tight to him and then twisting around to lay him on the bed, “I can do it.”

Laying on the bed with Ukai standing over him, Ittetsu felt like he could finally understand what was about to happen to him. A part of him was scared, sure, but he was surprised how small that part was. It was mostly overtaken by the excitement, the arousal, the desire. The tip of Keishin’s dick made contact with his asshole, just a light, gentle touch, and already Ittetsu was trembling. He felt like this was going to be good.


	5. New Experiences

After the way Ukai made him melt with his fingers, Ittetsu thought he understood the male g-spot. He thought he got the hype around anal and understood what that kind of sex would feel like. He did not. Well, not entirely. When Keishin slowly pushed himself inside, the lubrication of the condom the only thing easing the friction between their skin, suddenly the memory of his fingers was nearly washed out. He hadn’t even done anything, he was only half inside, but Ittetsu felt like he’d never felt before.

It did hurt, a little bit, he would make a note to buy lube if they were ever going to do this again, and he really hoped they would, but more than pain he felt pleasure. He felt a strange chill sliver up his spine and a heat fill his insides, and every thought he’d ever had left his head.  
“Oh my god,” he breathed.

He looked up at the coach’s face for a response. Expecting to see his signature amused smirk. Keishin wasn’t smirking. He looked like he hadn’t even heard Takeda’s moan. His eyes were fixed on the point where the two were connected and it was clear that was the only thing in his mind. It was clear he was feeling good. And he was feeling good because of Takeda.

As Ukai pushed in further, Takeda made another sound. This one, not quite recognizable as words. This one drawing Keishin’s eyes. He let his gaze roll over every inch of the teacher before he spoke.  
“Fuck, Sensei, you’re so sexy.”  
It came out in huffs. Not nearly as calm as he’d been since they started. He sounded too distracted to lie, too distracted to tease. Ittetsu couldn’t help but keep making noise. Not when Ukai seemed to like listening to him.

Ittetsu didn’t know what to do. He’d never really turned someone on before. He wasn’t even sure he’d ever made his exes cum. Now just seconds into the act Ukai looked like he was holding himself back. He looked like he had to. It made Ittetsu feel, I don’t know, powerful? He was desired. He was enjoyed. Truly and fully, Ukai wanted him, and holy shit Ittetsu wanted him right back.

Finally Ukai started to move.  
“Please,” was all Ittetsu managed to say between heavy huffs.  
Instantly Ukai stopped, eyes darting right to Ittetsu’s face, “I’m sorry, does it hurt?”  
Breath still deep and heavy, Ittetsu managed to laugh just a little. Then he grabbed hold of Ukai’s arms and wrapped his legs around his back.  
“No,” his eyes were locked on Ukai’s, “more.”

Keishin took a second to inspect Takeda’s eyes, make sure he was saying what he truly felt. Then, slowly a fire spread in his eyes. His mouth curled into a smile.  
“Oh, sensei, I’m going to make you regret those words.”

Ittetsu felt his heart pound. He didn’t know if it was out of fear or excitement, but either way it felt good. Ukai wrapped his big hands around Ittetsu’s waist with a grip so strong he probably could have held the man up with one hand. It turned out to be an appropriate amount of force to use, though, because when Ukai started moving again, it became immediately clear he was not fucking around. The bed wasn’t just shaking, it was getting pushed off the wall. 

At first, Takeda bit down on his arm. Hard. It was the only thing he could think to do to keep himself sane. To keep himself from moaning so loud he would never be able to look a neighbour in the eye again. He thought he understood now why people do these kinds of things in hotels. Ukai wasn’t having it though. He pulled the arm away from Ittetsu’s face and held it to the bed above his head. It was already bright red and covered in spit where he’d been biting it, and hearing the sounds that came from Ittetsu once it was removed it wasn’t hard to imagine why.

“Ukai.”  
The sound of Takeda moaning his name was even sweeter than Keishin ever could have imagined.  
“Ukai.”  
He said it again. Keishin’s head was too empty, or perhaps too full of everything that was happening right in that moment, to respond.  
“Oh my fucking god, Ukai.”  
His words were innocent and honest and so completely, disgustingly lewd. It was enough to make a lesser man crumble, but they only had one condom and Keishin wasn’t about to let it go to waste.

If he was going to make it last, though, Keishin couldn’t keep looking at Takeda’s face. It was too much, his expression was too erotic. Pulling out for only a second, Ukai flipped Takeda around. With the same powerful grip on his hips, he was able to lift the teacher up onto his hands and knees. He climbed up onto the bed behind him.  
“Wha-” was all Takeda could say in response to the abrupt change before Ukai entered him again. 

It felt different from the back. Maybe it was more shocking because he couldn’t see what was happening, maybe he was just able to go deeper from that angle, but Ittetsu would swear it was more intense. He liked it though. Not the rough fucking, I mean, of course he liked that, but he liked that he could drop his head to the bed and block everything out. He liked that his blankets could muffle his screams. He liked that he could twist his hands in his covers and hold them tightly. He really liked this position. Maybe too much.

Keishin was shocked when Takeda came again. He hadn’t even touched his dick, but suddenly he was twitching around him and it was clear what had happened.  
Keishin stopped moving when it did. More for his own sake than Takeda’s. God, didn’t the teacher understand this was their only condom? That they only had one shot at this? Why was he making it so hard for him to hold back?

They were silent for a second. Ittetsu didn’t know what to say except to apologize, but Ukai had told him not to do that last time. He was still panting into his bedsheets, trying to come up with something appropriate to say, when Ukai started going again.  
“What? We’re-” Takeda tried to turn his head to look at the man behind him, but Ukai’s gaze was fixed on his ass, “It’s not over?”  
Ukai drew his eyes up to meet Takeda’s, still slowly thrusting into him. He reached down, drawing his hand softly over Ittetsu’s jaw.

“You’re not satisfied with just that, are you?”

* * *

It was a long time before the condom was finally spoiled, though not long enough. When long enough would be neither of the men were really sure. Ittetsu was collapsed, exhausted, on the bed and he wouldn't dare to admit it, but he could have gone for at least a couple more rounds. Keishin would have been happy to comply. But they didn't have another condom. They didn't have another condom and worse than that they didn't have any lube. Trying to do it like this wouldn't go well, probably for either of them.

Keishin ran his fingers through Takeda's hair, now cold with sweat, as they lay next to each other panting.  
"Next time, be more prepared."  
Takeda rolled his head over to face him, unable to lift it off the bed.  
"There's going to be a next time?"  
Keishin smirked, "Oh, it's way too late for you to pretend like you don't want it."

Ittetsu couldn't help but blush, thinking of everything that has happened that night, everything he'd done, everything he'd said. Ukai was right, he couldn’t act like he was straight any more, couldn’t act like he wasn’t every bit as desperate for Keishin as Keishin was for him. Probably more, much, much, more.  
Keishin slid his hand down under Takeda’s head, lifting him just enough to draw him closer. To draw him into a kiss. They were sweaty and exhausted so the kiss was slow and hot and sloppy. 

“We should probably shower again,” Keishin groaned as they finally rolled apart.  
Takeda let his hand trace lightly down Ukai’s bare torso.  
“We can do it together this time, can’t we?”  
The coach smiled, “Of course.”

It probably shouldn’t be, given how many times he’d cum that night, but with Ukai in front of him, fully naked and looking the way he looked, it was easy for Ittetsu to get hard again. He was happy to see it seemed to be the same story for Keishin. Luckily, the coach's hand was big enough to wrap around them both, so they stood in the shower, Takeda resting his head against Ukai's chest, steaming hot water pelting down on them, rubbing themselves on each other’s cocks.

Normally Ittetsu was happy to feel clean, but for some reason when he left the shower, free of the sweat and cum that he'd been soaked in, he felt weirdly empty. Maybe it was Keishin's impact on him, he made the little teacher want to be dirty. 

"Er, so, do you want to sleep over?"  
Ukai was already putting on his clothes as Ittetsu asked the question and he gave him a look like that was the last thing he wanted to do.  
"Do you want me to?"  
What would he do if Ittetsu said yes? Would he stay? Even though he definitely seemed like he didn't want to? Ittetsu was scared to find out. Honestly the answer was yes, he wanted Ukai to spend the night. He'd never had a one night stand before and the idea of returning to his bed alone sounded sad, lonely, but he couldn't bring himself to say it.  
"No, no, it's fine."  
Ukai looked at him suspiciously, he probably knew it was a lie, but even still he continued pulling on his pants. Takeda didn't know what to do, what to say, so he just stood, naked except for the little white towel draped over his head, watching Keishin dress himself.

"Well, I'll see you at practice then?"  
Ittetsu just nodded, trying to pretend he was comfortable with this. Trying to pretend he'd had casual sex before.  
"Yeah, yeah, see you at practice, on Monday."

Ukai seemed hesitant, he must know something was wrong, but Ittetsu wasn't sure if the slight twinkle in his eye was from concern or annoyance. He wasn't sure he wanted to find out, honestly. Ukai pulled him into a kiss when he was finally fully dressed. A deep, passionate kiss that told Ittetsu whether or not he wanted to sleep over, Ukai was still interested in him. He still liked him, for his body if nothing else. That was all Ittetsu wanted, he reminded himself. He was using Keishin for his body too, wasn't he?

He did feel lonely though. When he closed the door behind Keishin. The apartment did feel empty. His sheets were completely dirty, so he had to change them, and it was already past 3 am. Long after Takeda would normally be asleep. Weirdly he didn’t feel that tired. Even after everything they’d done. Maybe he’d broken through the exhaustion and would be awake for the rest of the night. Maybe he would crash the second his head hit the pillow. He hoped it was the latter. He didn’t think he could stand staying up tonight. Alone. Thinking about everything he’d just done.

It wasn’t so much that Keishin didn’t want to sleep over. I mean, he didn’t, he hated sharing beds, he was particular about pillows, he was sure Ittetsu would wake up far earlier than he wanted to on a Saturday, and he would definitely insist on making him breakfast, but it’s not like he was in a hurry to leave. He liked Takeda, he really liked the sex, he wanted the two of them to get closer, he just… Keishin probably hadn’t slept in the same bed as someone he’d had sex with in years. Probably not since he was seeing that dude, what was it, like three years ago now? He didn’t know how to do that any more. Whether or not he liked Takeda, whether or not he wanted to see more of him was irrelevant. He didn’t sleep over after sex. 

He rolled down the window on the taxi ride home so he could smoke a cigarette out of it. The driver looked back at him through the mirror, he knew he would probably prefer he didn’t smoke. Keishin didn’t care.

* * *

Over the course of the weekend Ittetsu went through something kind of similar to the five stages of grief. About what he’d done, about how it felt, about what it meant for him and his future. It wasn’t that having sex with one man necessarily made him gay, he didn’t think it did at least, but enjoying it as much as he did? He couldn’t in his right mind go back to having sex with women. Go back to just doing his best to stay hard through the whole thing, when it was an effort not to get hard around Ukai. 

He was sexually attracted to men. He liked it up the ass. He liked sucking dick. Even just kissing he liked so much more with Ukai than he ever had with the girls he’d seen. He was gay. 

Then, there was the fact that he’d had a one night stand. Well, Ukai had said they would do it again, but then he just left, and he hadn’t said a word all weekend. Maybe it didn’t count as a one night stand but he’d never had sex outside of a relationship. In his entire 29 years of living he’d never had sex with no strings attached. He felt weird. He didn’t know what to do, what was appropriate, when to text, when to pretend nothing had happened. The next time they could see each other was practice, and they couldn’t talk about it then. Then again, Ittetsu didn’t even know what to talk about if they could talk.

The craziest part, at least for Ittetsu, was that it was Ukai. He’d had gay, casual, heat-of-the-moment sex with Ukai Keishin. And it was good. And they'd done, well, a lot of things. Things Ittetsu had never even dreamed of. His face got hot every time he thought of it. He could picture the face Ukai made as he fucked him. In fact, it was harder not to picture it. It popped into his head at least once every five minutes and when it did he felt a tingle down his spine.

How was he going to get through practice for the rest of the year? Just the memory of Ukai got him flustered, how was he supposed to stand next to him for hours and still focus on the game? On the kids? It was going to be so bad. 

It wasn’t that bad, or, it wouldn’t have been if Takeda hadn’t been worrying about it all weekend. Keishin was more than happy to continue as normal. He greeted him casually when he arrived, the way he always did, but Ittetsu had been thinking about him all weekend. Ittetsu had memories of him, dirty, disgusting, delicious memories of him, flashing through his mind every couple of seconds.

When Ukai raised his arm and said, “Mornin’ Sensei.”  
Ittetsu could hear his voice from that night, “Fuck, Sensei, you’re so sexy.”

When Ukai blew out a large cloud of cigarette smoke, the smell hit Ittetsu’s nose and could almost taste Ukai’s tongue. 

When Ukai looked at him suspiciously, “You good?”  
Ittetsu could feel his fingers in his hair, “Feels good?”

Everything Keishin did made Takeda blush, and he wasn’t even trying. In fact, Ukai seemed entirely unfazed by the fact that the last time he saw Takeda he’d shampooed cum out of his hair. If Ittetsu didn’t know any better, if he didn’t still have the hickeys and bite marks and sore, stretched out asshole to prove it, he would think maybe he’d imagined the sex with Ukai. That would explain why it was so unbelievably good.

Once again scenes from that Friday night rushed into his head. Ukai’s fingers, his mouth, his cock. He remembered the way he had moaned, the way his mind had gone blank. It really did feel like a scene from a movie. A porno, Ittetsu guessed. His hand dropped to the spot on his neck where he knew a dark hickey had developed over the last couple of days. It was finally starting to fade, but it still felt sort of raw when he drew his fingers over it. It had happened. It was real.

Suddenly he noticed Ukai staring. Ittetsu immediately dropped the hand from his neck, though the way Ukai smirked it was clear he already knew what was happening. Ittetsu squeezed his eyes closed to try and interrupt the memory. Why couldn’t he stop thinking about it? God, this was going to be a long day, and he had a feeling he wasn’t going to be able to keep himself off Ukai much longer.


	6. Manners

The whole practice was awkward. Ittetsu did everything in his power to avoid eye contact with Ukai, and the few times their eyes did meet it sent a spark up the back of his neck. About twenty minutes before they finished, Ukai turned to him.  
“Can we talk after practice.”

Ittetsu’s heart pounded. What was he going to say? Was he going to say the sex was a mistake, that he regretted it? Was he going to take back his declaration that they would do it again? For some reason Ittetsu was sure it was something along those lines. He was sure the fantasy world in which Ukai was going to do what he’d done to him on Friday more than once was too good to be true. He was sure he would find that out the second he was alone with the coach again. He was wrong, of course.

“So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?” Takeda asked as they walked side by side through the halls of the school, toward his office.  
“Oh, nothing much,” Ukai’s eyes seemed to be scanning the hall, looking at posters on the walls or groups of teenagers gathering, “You know, just catch up, what you did this weekend, things like that.”  
Takeda couldn’t help but blush a little. All he’d done that weekend was think about him. Think about what they’d done.

Ittetsu had just opened his mouth to say something, he hadn’t quite decided what yet, when suddenly there was a sharp tug on his arm. He heard a click and then a slam and suddenly he was in the dark. Ukai flipped a switch and a single lightbulb flickered on. They were in a janitor’s closet.

“Wha- what are you doing?”  
“Has something been troubling you, Takeda-san?”  
Ittetsu’s face was bright red at the sudden appearance of Ukai’s face right in front of his.  
“What? No, I’m, I’m fine.”  
Ukai’s eyes rolled down Ittetsu’s front, slowly.  
“Are you sure about that?”  
A huge lump formed in Ittetsu’s throat. He’d noticed? How had he noticed? 

Ittetsu’s dick had been hard since about halfway into practice. He’d zoned out as the team was talking, thinking of things he probably shouldn’t be thinking about during a meeting, and Ukai had attempted to bring him back to the present by putting a soft but firm hand at the small of his back. It really shouldn’t be enough to get someone hard, but Ittetsu had been thinking of Ukai, of that crazy, beautiful night, for days now. It was the most amazing thing he’d ever experienced and ever since it was like he was going through a second sexual awakening. It was like he was fifteen again. A touch from Ukai was more than enough to push him over the edge. 

He’d tried to get rid of it. He went to the bathroom about five minutes later, when it still hadn’t gone down, and tried to jack off, but people kept coming in and out of the bathroom, and he was conscious that any one of them could be his student, so he couldn’t get anywhere close to resolving it. After that he just resigned himself. It would go down when it had to, or he’d go to the private staff washroom after practice and figure it out. He had no idea that Ukai would notice. That Ukai would do… this.

But, Ukai wasn’t doing anything. He was just standing close to Takeda, much closer than he needed to, staring into his eyes.

“Do you want some help?”  
Again Ittetsu’s heart pounded. What was happening?  
“You have to ask me for what you want, Sensei.”  
Ittetsu’s mouth hung open for about five second before he could finally make it speak.  
“Suck it.”  
It was something he’d thought about since they’d hooked up, what it would be like to have Ukai give him a blow job. His exes had both sucked his dick, and it had felt good, but he was growing increasingly aware that he was not sexually attracted to either of them. He wanted to know what it would feel like from someone he really liked. And there was no way Ukai wasn’t amazing at it.

Ukai smiled, tilting Ittetsu’s head up to look at him.  
“Sorry? What was that?”  
Ittetsu swallowed, “Suck my dick,” he repeated.  
“Ah, ah, ah,” Ukai scolded, “What’s the whole question?”  
His heart was still racing, but a smile began to creep up on Takeda’s face. What was this man trying to do to him?  
“Can you suck my dick?” And then after Ukai raised his eyebrow, “Please?”

“Good job, Sensei,” Ukai teased, “Now always remember to use your words and ask nicely.”  
Heat spread on the back of Takeda’s neck and he playfully shoved him back, “Shut up.”

Ukai just smiled in response, and slowly started lowering his body against Ittetsu’s.  
“Ok, now watch me closely when I do this,” he instructed, “You did well for your first time the other day, but you still have a lot to learn.”  
Ittetsu laughed. He wasn’t sure whether Ukai was serious or not. His tone didn’t sound joking, but he had his signature smile on, and what he was saying was sort of ridiculous, wasn’t it? He sounded like he was coaching him.

Ittetsu thought it would be funny to continue the theme, “Yes, coach.”  
Ukai paused when he heard this, face positioned right at Ittetsu’s stomach.  
“I liked that,” he considered, “That was hot.”  
“What? Me calling you coach?”  
So was it not just a joke after all? Was he really into this kind of thing?  
“Mmhmm,” Ukai hummed, continuing his journey down onto his knees.

When he was on the ground, Keishin unhooked the button of Takeda’s fly.  
“Do you want me to call you that more often?”  
Ukai just smiled up at him, pulling down his zipper as he did, “Look at you, so eager to please. I like that, too.”  
Takeda could barely stop his hips from bucking forward when Keishin put his mouth on him. Even though it was through his tight boxer briefs. He was sensitive. He must have been excited.

“I’ll call you whatever you want me to call you,” Ittetsu moaned more than he spoke.  
Ukai’s smile turned wicked, “I’ll keep that in mind, but for now I’ll let you call me what you want.”  
He finally freed Ittetsu’s cock from his underwear, immediately wrapping his lips around it. It wasn’t big, not big enough to choke on, but it was a nice size for playing with. It felt good resting against Ukai’s tongue.

“Holy shit, Ukai,” Takeda was as quiet as he could manage, knowing they were not supposed to be doing this here. Knowing the door was not all that soundproof. 

Ukai moved his mouth sloppily down the shaft. His lips wrapped loosely around him, his tongue doing most of the work. He spent a couple seconds at the head, letting his tongue twist around every inch of it, before he pulled it out with a wet popping sound.  
“See how much spit I’m using,” he told Ittetsu.   
It was a lot of spit. It was coating all of Ittetsu’s dick right now and Ukai’s mouth was still wet. Ittetsu had to make an effort not to let his gaze unfocus as he stared. It was so incredibly sexy.  
“This is how much you should always use.”  
Ittetsu’s breathing was heavy, but he looked down at Ukai as he spoke, pretending he could absorb anything he was saying.

“Yes coach,” he repeated, wondering if it would get the same reaction this time.  
The corners of Ukai’s lips twitched, though Takeda’s cock was already back in his mouth so he couldn’t actually smile. Ittetsu knew he was happy though, from the way he pushed against him with his tongue. One of his hands, they had each been gripping a thigh tightly, slipped between his legs. He reached over and slowly started rolling Takeda’s balls through his fingers.

“What- What the fuck, Ukai,” Ittetsu groaned. Shocked at the level of skill. The level of pleasure running through him.

Ukai brought his mouth off the cock, letting his lean against his cheek as he talked, “You like that? You should never forget about the balls.”  
Ittetsu just panted, waiting for Ukai to take his dick in his mouth again, but he didn’t. He just stared up at the teacher, waiting for something else.  
“What? No ‘yes coach’?”  
Takeda pulled back the hand that had somehow found its way into Keishin’s bleached hair and used it to push back the glasses that were slipping down his nose. A blush was spreading over his face.

“I thought- Weren’t you joking about that?”  
Ukai looked up at him with lowered eyebrows. A little exaggerated in it’s seriousness, to the point that he must be teasing. It was all so confusing, Ittetsu could never tell exactly what he was supposed to be thinking.  
“Take-chan, I’ve been volunteering my own time to teach you, the least you can do is have the proper manners.”  
Takeda shivered at the sound of the nickname. People used to call him that in school, but most people he knew now had never heard it. He hadn’t been called it in years. There was a time when he found it embarrassing, degrading, but it didn’t sound so bad out of Ukai’s mouth. Maybe he’d let people call him that again.

“Yes coach,” he said obediently.  
Ukai smiled, “Good boy.”

It didn’t take long to finish off the blowjob. Takeda was more than ready to cum when Ukai forced him as deep down his throat as his dick could reach. When Keishin stood up his mouth was still full of sticky white cum, but he pulled Takeda into a kiss. He pushed his tongue into the teacher’s mouth, bringing Takeda’s cum with it.

Ittetsu cringed when he tasted it, which seemed to amuse Ukai.  
“You should get used to the taste,” he told him, swallowing what was left in his mouth.  
Takeda did the same, though the feeling of it sliding down his throat made him feel sick.  
“Yes coach,” he repeated one last time.  
Ukai smiled, “Now what do you say.”

Ittetsu wanted to get offended, pretend like he had any dignity left, but the truth is he didn’t. The truth is hearing Ukai talk to him like that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up straight.  
“Thank you,” he cooed.  
Keishin took another look at Takeda, observing him from head to toe, before he tugged his underwear back up over his dick, and pulled him into another kiss. This one, a little less bitter.  
“Now see what happens when you ask for what you want?”  
Takeda grinned, “I’ll keep it in mind.”

* * *

Takeda finished the walk back to class with a smile on his face. The sort of airy, delirious smile of someone without a care in the world. More so, the smile of someone without a single thought in their head. He drew a couple looks, but he didn’t notice them. He couldn’t notice anything but the aftertaste of sex left in his mouth.

He was a little late to class, he thought he heard the bell ring when they were in the closet, but he really didn’t care. He was glad to know Ukai wasn’t kidding the other day when he said they’d have sex again. Ittetsu certainly hadn’t expected something so soon, but he was happy to be surprised. Plus, he really couldn’t get over the way Ukai had talked to him in there.

He never thought of himself as really liking dirty talk, especially, well, the kind they’d just done. The kind with power dynamics, or role play, or _praise_ , it all seemed scary to him before. It all seemed so unnecessarily lewd, but his head was buzzing just thinking about some of the things Ukai had said. Maybe it was just Ukai, maybe it was something about him that made Ittetsu want to be told what to do. That made Ittetsu want to beg for him.

The whole thing was just so fun, and so erotic. It was only about five minutes in a dark janitors closet, but Ittetsu was pretty sure he would be in a good mood all day because of it. God, he couldn’t wait until they could do something again.

Keishin left the school happy too. He couldn’t believe how quickly Takeda adapted. Just a few days ago he was still trying to claim he wasn’t interested in Ukai, he was still trying to claim he was straight. Now, after just one good fucking, he was taking commands in a closet before school. If he could change that much that quickly, Keishin wondered how long it would take before he could get Takeda doing the really crazy shit. The kind of shit he was into. He might already be able to bring out a blindfold, at least. And he doubted handcuffs would be far behind.

He whistled contentedly as he walked off the campus and winked flirtatiously at the woman he passed on his way back to the market. Today was going to be a good day.

Takeda came late to the afternoon practice. He had some work to do or something. Probably grading papers or something like that, Keishin wasn’t really paying attention. When he did arrive at the gym a big smile stretched over Ukai’s face.  
“Look who finally decided to show up.”  
Takeda just smiled, “I hope you were alright without me.”  
Ukai ruffled his hand through Takeda’s hair, “Aw, come on, you know I’m helpless without you.”  
Takeda laughed, but his cheeks grew red as he did. 

This was a lot better than the morning. Ittetsu had been feeling better since Ukai had sucked his dick. Partly because, well, because Ukai sucked his dick, how could that not make you feel better, but also because he felt like he knew where he stood a little better. They were still going to have sex, that wasn’t going anywhere, and it was definitely casual, definitely no-strings-attatched. It had to be. People in relationships, or people trying to be in relationships, didn’t do things like that. At least, not in Takeda’s experience.

So it was easier, a lot easier, now, to be around Ukai. To say hello to him, listen to his jokes and teasing, respond with jokes of his own. It was easy now that he understood what it meant. That Ukai wasn’t just fucking with him, or trying to pretend nothing had happened. It was, maybe not easier, but more fun to talk to Ukai now that he knew the effect a simple “yes coach” could have on him. Now that he knew he could tell when Ittetsu was turned on, and he didn’t mind it. It was better now, all of it.

Well, except for the fact that Ukai was always looking at him, smiling at him, touching him. Ittetsu knew he was doing it on purpose. When he touched him on his hip when he had to get around him he knew he chose that spot to make him blush. When he leaned close to whisper something instead of saying it out loud, even if he was just talking about how Asahi’s serve was improving, Ittetsu knew he enjoyed watching goosebumps appear on the back of his neck. 

He was definitely teasing less than he used to, before any of this, but that was because he didn’t need to. After all they’d done, now a simple raised eyebrow could get Takeda more worked up than any of the dirty jokes he used to make. He wondered what kind of reaction those kinds of comments would get now. Keishin was excited to find out, and he would slowly work up to them again. Eventually he was sure he could push Takeda even further, but for now he liked the fact that it took so little to make him blush. He liked that he was sensitive.

He liked that he was sensitive in bed, too. It didn’t take long for him to figure that out. Obviously the little “lesson” in the closet that morning had left Takeda wanting more, because before practice was over he approached Ukai.

“Hey, are you free to get drinks after this?”  
Ukai sucked his teeth, “I’m not, I have to watch the market.”  
“Oh,” Ittetsu felt his face get hot, embarrassed that he’d suggested something like that without thinking.  
“But I like that you’re asking for what you want.”  
Now Ittetsu’s face was hot for another reason.  
“Tell you what,” Ukai leaned a little closer, not too much to seem unnatural to outside observers, “I’ll close the store early, come over around 10, we can have drinks in the back.”  
He said it like that was the end of the conversation, and he must have been able to read the expression on Takeda’s face that said he was confused, a little overwhelmed.  
“Unless, is that too trashy for you?” Keishin smirked, “You want to go to some fancy hotel bar and get ¥1500 cocktails?”  
“No, no, that’s good,” he insisted, “Sounds great actually.”  
“Good,” Keishin said resolutely, and then in a voice quiet enough that it wouldn’t be overheard, “Things would get expensive pretty quickly if we had to pay for a hotel every night.”

Takeda’s ears pricked up at the last part of that sentence. Every night? Did Ukai say every night? They were going to do this every night were they? He didn’t know if he could manage that. How would he get anything done? How would he even have the energy to do that? Still, he knew his heart wasn’t pounding out of fear. 

“Yeah, ok, I’ll see you tonight then.”  
Keishin did a quick check of the surrounding area, making sure no one was looking their way, before he smacked Takeda playfully on the ass.  
“See you then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I seriously cannot tell if this is way too horny or not horny enough. I'm completely torn. Let me know what you guys think.


	7. Apologies (part 1)

Ittetsu ended up staying at school for more than an hour after practice finished, talking with Yamaguchi. He was having some personal problems, as well as maybe some family ones, so Ittetsu was glad to talk with him, help him out. It did mean, though, that he was a little mentally exhausted by the time he got home. And he was supposed to be at Ukai’s in less than three hours.

He ate his prepackaged dinner from the grocery store, took a deep, careful shower, and it was still before 9. He lay on his bed, wrapped only in his towel, to take a quick breath before he started getting dressed. He had time for that, at least.

Ittetsu ended up sleeping for almost two hours.  
When he first rolled over and saw **10:47 pm** blinking on his alarm clock he immediately shot up. He quickly reached for his phone, only to find exactly three notifications, all from Ukai. First, a text at just past ten, “Closed the store. Come.”, then there was a missed call at 10:14, and lastly, a text from around 15 minutes before saying, “fuk u then, I’ll drink alone”.

Ittetsu’s heart was racing as he threw on the first clothes he could get his hands on. Oh god, Ukai was mad at him. He must be so mad, he had a right to be. He closed his store for Ittetsu, he had been waiting for him, he must have no idea where he was. If it were him, he would be pissed. If it were him, he would take this as a sign he wasn’t wanted. If it were him, this might be the end of their little “thing”. And it was just getting started. He could only hope Ukai wasn’t like him.

He called the coach as he left his apartment, but he didn’t pick up. He got into his car, not thinking about the fact that they were supposed to be drinking. That he would probably not be able to drive back. He sent a new text at nearly every red light. Explaining what had happened, asking whether Ukai would still be willing to meet him, but none of the texts got any responses. 

When he finally showed up at Sakanoshita Market, he was decently sure he wasn’t wanted there. The lights were off, the closed sign was up and he could see no trace of Ukai, but he wasn’t the type to give up that easy.

“Ukai?” He called, knocking on the window.  
For a second nothing happened.  
He knocked again, “Ukai-san!”

The door behind the counter swung open and the coach popped his head out. There was a lit cigarette between his lips. He took it out to smile at Takeda when they made eye contact.

“So you finally decided to show up,” he smirked when he unlocked the front door, “I thought you’d come in through the back.”  
Ittetsu’s heart was still pounding from the adrenaline of trying to get here as fast as he could. Ukai was here, though. He hadn’t left, and he was going to let him in. He was still willing to see him. He didn’t even look that mad. If Ittetsu didn’t know better, he’d think there was nothing wrong. But there was something wrong. He’d made him wait. 

“I’m so sorry,” Ittetsu started, “I fell asleep when I got home and I just woke up a few minutes ago.”  
Ukai didn’t say anything. He had already turned around, walking back towards the backroom, and Ittetsu followed him almost without thinking. When they got into the back room there was a small table with a bottle of sake and a six pack of beers. Ukai had already gotten into two of the cans.

“I started without you,” he explained, “Though it’s probably good I got a head start. I seem to recall you don’t have the highest tolerance.”  
He smiled at Takeda as he took another drag from his cigarette, waiting for him to respond. Defend the drunken mess he’d been a few days before.  
“I’m really sorry,” he apologized again.  
“For what?” Ukai was already sitting at the table, confused as to why Ittetsu wasn’t sitting too.  
“For being late, I promise I really was excited.”

Ukai did his signature slow stare, dropping his gaze low then picking it up again.  
“I know you were, I was there this morning, _Take-chan_.”  
Takeda felt his face get hot.  
“Are you not mad?”  
Again Ukai looked at him for a second before speaking.  
“Should I be?”  
He got up from his seat to stand in front of Ittetsu, raising his hand to place it on the side of the teacher’s face.  
“Did you do something I should be mad about?”

Ittetsu felt his heartbeat quicken. This time not as a result of adrenaline.  
“I- I just fell asleep,” he explained, “I was really tired.”  
“I’m sure you were,” Ukai’s voice was low and calm, “So why would I be mad?”  
Ittetsu didn’t know what was going on. He didn’t understand why he was being forgiven so easily.  
“You closed the store for me,” he argued.  
Ukai smiled, letting his hand drop from Ittetsu’s face and shrugging his shoulders.  
“I’m a lazy bastard and I didn’t want to work. Don’t feel guilty for that.”  
“But-”  
“But what?”  
Ukai moved a step closer, taking another pull from his cigarette and letting the smoke in his exhale pool over Ittetsu’s face.  
“I told you I’m not mad, but you still feel sorry?”

Takeda was looking down, coughing from the smoke, but when he finally recovered he still couldn’t look Ukai in the eye. Not until Ukai pushed up his chin with his knuckles.  
“If you’re so dead set on apologizing, you might as well do it properly. I know you know how.”

* * *

Keishin wasn’t sure how the comment would go over, but he figured there were probably two possible outcomes. One, Takeda agrees and gets on his knees to beg for forgiveness, which Keishin thought would be a lot of fun, or more likely, two, Takeda thinks it’s ridiculous and the focus is shifted off his being late, which would also be fine, he supposed. At least then they could stop this stupid conversation and start drinking.

Apparently there was some kind of fortune shining on Keishin that day, though, because Takeda, against all odds, picked option one. Without saying another word he lowered himself to his knees in front of Ukai.  
Keishin laughed, “Wow that didn’t take much convincing.”  
He reached down to grab Takeda’s jaw, “I’m beginning to think you’re a bit of a pervert, sensei.”  
Takeda didn’t say anything, he just waited from Keishin to let go of his jaw, before lowering his face towards the ground.  
“I’m very sorry, Ukai-san,” he said when his forehead finally made contact with the floor. 

The floor of the back room was filthy. Keishin couldn’t remember the last time he’d mopped it. He did remember the last time he spilled beer right on that spot though. Somehow that made the whole thing a lot more fun. It fit in nicely with his fantasy of corrupting Takeda.

“Hmm,” Keishin considered, delaying to enjoy the view for a couple seconds more, “You certainly look like the perfect beggar. I think your words could use some work, though.”

Takeda craned his neck to look up at him, “What would you like me to say?”  
Keishin smiled, “How about something a little more formal? How about you call me Ukai-sama?”  
Takeda waited until he was sure on the instructions before he lowered his head to the floor again.  
“I sincerely apologize, Ukai-sama,” his voice echoed off the tile floor, “I promise I won’t waste your time like that again.”  
“And how do I know you’re telling the truth?” Keishin asked, tilting the teachers head up with the toe of his shoe.

It was quite funny actually. He couldn’t quite tell whether Takeda was actually serious about this or not. Keishin sure as hell wasn’t, but he was more than happy to play along. More than happy to watch Takeda beg. More than happy to push him around a little bit, if that was what he wanted.

“What can I do to prove it to you?”  
Keishin smiled down at Takeda. This was all almost too much fun. Almost too tempting. What should he ask for?

When a genie gives you three wishes, the best thing to ask for is more wishes isn’t it? Some people consider that cheating, but still, you’re stupid if you don’t at least try.

Keishin squatted down low in front of Takeda, lacing his fingers through his hair to pull his head back.  
“How about this,” he suggested, “If you do well today, if you do everything I say, I’ll forgive you for so rudely showing up late.”  
Takeda stared up at him, straight faced for a second before a smile started curling the ends of his lips. This pervert. This was probably what he wanted the whole time.  
“Yes, Ukai-sama. Thank you, Ukai-sama.”

* * *

Ittetsu really didn’t mean to smile. He didn’t mean to get so excited, but Ukai just did it to him. He made it hard for him to keep his dignity. “If you do well today”? How did the coach come up with these things? What kind of crazy shit had he gotten up to in his 26 years on earth that he could say these kinds of things without blushing? More importantly, why had it taken this long for Takeda to get involved? How had it taken him this long to figure out how much fun these kinds of things could be?

Ukai’s first command, once he had Ittetsu standing upright, was for him to take off his shirt. It was embarrassing, the way Ukai watched him as he slowly unbuttoned the shirt. He was sort of waiting for the coach to get impatient. To step forward and just do it for himself, or at least to say something, but he didn’t. He just stood silently and watched.

He only spoke when the button-up was shrugged off Takeda’s shoulders, and his undershirt was pulled over his head.  
“Look at you,” his eyes scanned over his bare torso, “You look good.”  
Ittetsu turned his head to avoid going bright red.  
“What now?”  
“Now?” Ukai considered, stepping forward to put his hands on Ittetsu’s waist, then slowly moving them up the sides of his body until he could slide his thumbs over Ittetsu’s pale pink nipples, “How about we do the pants now.”

Ukai dropped his hands off his chest to allow him more freedom to undress himself, but Ittetsu didn’t move.  
“Are,” he looked around the sort of dingy back room of the shop, “Are we doing it here?”  
“Do you want to ask me questions, or do you want to apologize for what you’ve done?”

Ittetsu felt the tips of his ears go red at the tone in Ukai’s voice. He could say it so casually, so softly, so kindly, but with just enough edge that it made the teacher’s heart race. It made him wonder what he would do if he disobeyed.

“I’m sorry Ukai-sama,” saying the name made Takeda smile a little, at the ridiculousness of it all. Calling a 26 year old convenience store manager “sama”, begging for forgiveness on his hands and knees for being an hour late to drinks, acting as if _Ukai Keishin_ was going to, I don’t know, do something if he said “no”. It was all a little silly, but still, “I want to apologize.”

Ukai was smiling, too. It was somewhat unclear how much of this was just a joke. To either of them, I mean, Ittetsu couldn’t even figure out in his own mind. All he knew was that he was having a lot of fun. All he knew was that he wanted to keep going.

When he took off his pants, Ukai told him to take his underwear, too, predictably, and soon Ittetsu was entirely butt-naked in the back room of Sakanoshita market. Meanwhile Ukai was just standing, staring. It wasn’t like it was fully erect, but by the time it was exposed, Ittetsu’s dick certainly wasn’t completely flaccid. Somewhere in the begging, the stripping, the being watched, occasionally touched, occasionally told what to do, he had started to feel it coming. Ukai chuckled when he saw that.

“Do you like being watched, sensei?”  
The way he said it made it sound so dirty, so perverted, so, in Ittetsu’s mind at least, erotic.  
He decided he wouldn’t deny it. It would be hard to try, and even if he somehow got away with it, it would only mean they wouldn’t do this again. He wanted to do this again. He nodded.  
“Do you like watching me?”  
A huge smile took over Ukai’s face, and he turned his head away, as if embarrassed by the question.  
“You really are bold for someone so new to this,” he laughed, dragging a hand through his long hair, “But yes, of course I like watching you,” when Ukai looked back at him, his eyes were filled with a new fire, or maybe Ittetsu was just more conscious of them, “How could I not?”

There he went again, making the same comments about Takeda’s attractiveness. He was still getting used to it, but as they went on Ittetsu found himself believing them more and more. When he looked at himself in the mirror nowadays, he would sometimes catch certain angles where he thought he looked nice. He would sometimes hone in on certain features and try and think how someone might not hate them. Recently, when he caught strangers looking at him in public, he didn’t immediately assume he had something on his face, or he was doing something weird. Now, when Keishin dragged his eyes along his naked body, he felt confident he was turning him on.

His dick twitched a little at the thought.  
“Do you want to touch yourself, sensei?”  
Ittetsu couldn’t keep a straight face as he said it, but he said it all the same, “Can I, Ukai-sama?”

Ittetsu leaned against the round table in the center of the room as he started to play with himself. Ukai stood watching him for a second before pulling out a chair and sitting down right in front of him, his face a lot closer than it needed to be to Ittetsu’s crotch. The change alarmed Ittetsu a little, and he paused.  
“What?” Ukai asked, reaching around Ittetsu to grab his half empty can of beer, “I’m not gonna do anything, just watching, I promise.”  
Ittetsu shook himself out of the shock, trying to recover his rhythm from before, “Ah, no, of course. Do whatever you want.”  
Ukai looked up at Ittetsu’s face, taking a long slow sip of his beer.  
“Whatever I want, eh?”  
Ittetsu blushed slightly, trying to focus on the feeling of his hand on his dick and the excitement of having Ukai that close to him, watching him, instead of the awkwardness of what he’d just said. He didn’t want to speak again, though.

“Well, I don’t think there’s anything in particular I want to do to you right now,” Ukai considered, placing his empty hand on Takeda’s thigh, “Though, it might be nice if you could spread your legs a little for me.”  
Ok, yeah, that was hot enough to put Ittetsu back into his rhythm.  
“Of course, Ukai-sama.”  
He pushed himself back a little on the table, so it could support his weight, before opening his thighs for Ukai. It wasn’t like the coach could see his asshole with him sitting up like this, but it was still embarrassing opening his legs for someone like that. It still gave him a pretty nice view of all the stuff in the front. It felt good, though, to be embarrassed. Was that strange? Did that make Ittetsu a pervert?

Ukai watched Ittetsu masturbate until he had finished his beer, at which point he reached around again to place the empty can on the table and then got up abruptly from his chair. Without saying anything, he turned around.  
“Wait, what’s-”  
Ittetsu stopped when Ukai looked back at him, remembering his earlier commitment to not asking questions.  
“It’s ok, keep going, I’ll be right back.”

He couldn’t say he wasn’t confused, but Ittetsu had been feeling pretty good, so he wouldn’t have wanted to stop even if he was told to. He braced one arm against the table and leaned back, closing his eyes and imagining Ukai was still there in front of him. He was getting pretty close, thinking of the way Ukai was sitting between his legs, casually drinking beer as he jerked himself off in front of him. He felt like a stripper at a really, _really_ sketchy strip club, or some kind of pornstar. It was hard to believe this was real life.

His pace quickened as he got closer to the end, pumping hard on his dick. Without even noticing, he started breathing out small moans. Small moans which grew bigger, louder, until he came with a fully voiced, “ah~”.

When he slowly blinked open his eyes he found Ukai, leaning on the doorway, arms crossed with a bottle of lube in one hand and a box of condoms in the other. So that’s where he’d gone. The smile on his face was wide and taunting.  
“Good show, Take-chan.”


	8. Apologies (part 2)

There was something about contact between Ittetsu’s bare chest and the laminated wood of the cheap dining table. Maybe it had more to do with the sweat between them, or the hand pressing on Ittetsu’s back, pushing him further onto the table, but it felt like he was glued down. The friction of it kept him from sliding forward when Ukai thrust into him, meaning all the momentum remained in his ass, and holy shit it felt crazy.

At first Ittetsu had asked if they could go upstairs, to Ukai’s apartment, to his room. It probably wouldn’t hurt for him to get a minute to cool down before they started again, too. Ukai didn’t want to wait, though, and Ittetsu was more than happy to let him do what he wanted.

He was glad they didn’t leave, in the end, because being fucked over a table was very different than being fucked in a bed. Plus, he couldn’t ignore how good it felt to have Ukai want him, urgently. To have him take him right on the spot. A little deviation from his usual casual distance. A little sign he wanted this just as much as Ittetsu did.

The lube was also a good improvement. They’d somehow managed on friday with a bit of spit and a lubricated condom, but this felt so much easier. So much better. Honestly it was hard for Ittetsu to think of much else than the feeling of being filled so nicely with Ukai’s dick and the little sound of the table squeaking against the floor each time he pushed forward. Everytime the sound of the table legs was accompanied by a little sound of Ittetsu’s own making, and often one from Ukai, too.

“Fuck, Take-chan,” Ukai huffed from above him, “You’re taking it so well.”  
He was, wasn’t he? Ittetsu had never expected it to go this easy. Especially when this was just his second time. Especially when Ukai was so fucking big. He was taking it well, but it was still enough to keep him from responding. Enough to make anything he tried to say come out as nothing more than breathy moans.

Ittetsu couldn’t see Ukai’s face, but he could hear in his voice he was smiling, “You want to tell me something?”  
Again, Ittetsu opened his mouth, making another attempt to respond, but all he succeeded in doing was forcing out a louder moan.  
The hand pressing down on his back slipped up his spine. His fingers brushed at the bottom of his hair, making Takeda whimper. Finally his hand settled on his shoulder, gripping hard so he could pull him closer, further onto his cock. He was doing it hard, harder than Ittetsu remembered from Friday, and fast, fast enough that Ittetsu couldn’t form a single cohesive thought.

This time Ukai didn’t last forever. Probably because he didn’t have to. Probably because he didn’t want to. Ittetsu didn’t mind. He liked the fact that he was making the young coach feel good. He liked the fact that he could make him cum. Not that he actually had to do much.

When Keishin stepped back, pulling his dick out of Takeda’s tight ass and enjoying the sight of the hole pulsing slightly before attempting to regain its original form, he felt a little regret. He wanted to make the teacher moan just a little more. He wanted to see him cum just from his ass again. He wanted a lot more. Luckily, they had all night.

“You wanna go upstairs?”  
Takeda was still peeling himself off the table. A fair bit of his skin was pink and Keishin couldn’t quite tell if it was from heat or friction. There was a great red patch on his right cheek, the one that had been pressed against the table, and Keishin was pretty certain it was pretty raw at the moment. He had to resist the urge to touch it.

“Upstairs?” Takeda breathed when he was finally sitting upright on the table.  
He wasn’t standing, and Keishin thought he might have some idea as to why. He smiled as he looked down as his suspicions were confirmed, Takeda’s legs were trembling.  
“You want me to carry you?”

“What? No, it’s-” Takeda’s breathing was still heavy as he tried to defend himself.

“How about this one,” Keishin dropped his voice a bit lower as he said this, to ensure Takeda would take him seriously, “I want to carry you upstairs, Take-chan. I want to carry you to my bedroom so I can fuck you hard enough you’ll have a real excuse not to be able to stand. Are you going to let me do that?”

Takeda lowered his gaze, and Keishin could see the tips of his ears turning red. He could see his hard dick twitching slightly, too.  
“Yes, of course, Ukai-sama.”  
God that felt good.

* * *

Their trip up the stairs was predictably chaotic. Ukai was holding Ittetsu bride-style, which was comfortable and sturdy, but it meant they were just a couple centimetres too wide for the single staircase that led to the apartment upstairs. They couldn’t really change position, though. Partly because Takeda was shaking from the waist down and would have trouble moving much on his own. Partly because Keishin had the bright idea to stack all their stuff, the lube, the condoms, their clothes, in Ittetsu’s folded lap so they could carry them all up together. 

In the end they had to just fold Ittetsu’s head and feet in as tightly as possible and pray that Ukai didn’t miss a step, or lose his balance at some point on the stairs. It was more than a little nerve racking and Ittetsu thought he probably wouldn’t let Ukai do the same thing again. They did make it up though, and when they did Ukai dropped Ittetsu on his bed with a little laugh.

“Not doing that again?” he smiled.  
“No, no, I don’t think so,” Ittetsu agreed.  
Ukai joined him on the bed, reaching down to pinch one of his nipples.  
“Train yourself to take dick better, damn,” Ukai scolded, “I didn’t even make you cum and you’re trembling?”  
Ittetsu pushed himself off the bed to sit up.  
“You made me cum!”  
“What?”  
Ittetsu looked away, embarrassed to say any of this.  
“You made me cum.”  
This time it was a lot quieter.  
“You didn’t notice?”

Keishin paused, thinking back. He couldn’t remember Takeda cumming. He remembered thinking he wanted to see that, Ittetsu’s cum splattering on that tile floor, that floor that needed mopping so goddamn bad. He was sure he hadn’t seen it though.  
“Did you,” Keishin paused, doubting his idea, “Did you have, like, a dry orgasm?”  
Takeda didn’t respond, but he would have said no if that was the answer. So he had. His second time with a dick in his ass Takeda had already came dry. Ukai had never even done that, and he’d bottomed more than a couple times.

“Shit, your ass loves me.”  
Ittetsu chuckled, embarrassed.  
Ukai leaned forward, closer, “Still think you’re straight?”

It had been a while since Ittetsu had accepted that he wasn’t, but the question reminded him of how Ukai used to tease him. It reminded him of the first time he tried touching his ass, when he’d masturbated to the thought of Ukai only about a month or so before. God he’d been so horny. So, so, fucking horny for so, so, fucking long.

“I’m not straight.”  
Ukai pushed him down against the bed, following him down to lean over him. He drew his finger down Ittetsu’s body, tracing the line of his ribs, the shallow dip of his stomach, the edge of his hips.  
“How could you be,” his voice was low and rumbling, “When you like me this much?”  
Ittetsu huffed a laugh, his breath growing deeper the closer Ukai got to his cock.  
“I do like you.”  
Ukai took him in his hand.  
“I like you so much, Ukai.”  
A weird look flashed in Ukai’s eyes before he trained it into his signature casual smile. Ittetsu couldn’t quite catch the expression, not with his cock in Ukai’s hand.  
“Wow, Take-chan, this is starting to sound like a confession.”  
Ittetsu didn’t take the time to fully consider the implications of what Ukai had just said before he huffed out another laugh, “You wish.”  
Ukai’s smile grew wider and he leaned back onto his knees, “You ready for round two?”

* * *

Round two found the men in a slightly more interesting position, with one of Takeda’s still shaking legs draped over Ukai’s shoulder while the other one was braced against the bed. Still, it was his arms holding most of his weight. If Ittetsu had the brainpower to think he would be vastly overthinking the complexity of this pose, making the whole thing awkward and uncomfortable, but luckily he did not. Luckily he had completely switched off any decision making section of his brain and was allowing Ukai to take full control of every piece of his body.

It was easy to let his brain be empty when the rest of his body felt so full.

Keishin was right. Takeda’s ass fucking loved him. It hugged his cock like a fucking glove. It pulled him in as deep as he could go when he thrust, his body slapping against Takeda’s raised thigh. The teacher’s face didn’t help. He had his huge eyes pinched shut, his mouth open and even, if Keishin was reading that little glisten correctly, drooling. It was the kind of face that should be in porn.

Though his breath was heavy from arousal and exertion, he managed to huff out the question, “Yo, Sensei, ever been on camera?”

He knew the answer. Well, he was like 98% sure. If Takeda had ever filmed himself Keishin would be so shocked he would probably have to take a sick day tomorrow. He knew the answer but he still wanted to ask the question. He wanted to see the red that was just peeking through on Takeda’s cheeks spread and envelope his whole face. It did, immediately.

“I- hnn,” his objection was interrupted by a noise he couldn’t control, “Never.”  
He must have decided a full sentence response would be impossible.

“Would you like to?”  
Takeda’s eyes shot wide open and they turned to meet Keishin’s.  
“Not now,” Keishin huffed with a smile, too out of breath to laugh properly, “Don’t worry, another time.”

Panic eased, at least a little, Takeda allowed himself to close his eyes for another second, regain himself. His moans started up again quickly, and he relaxed into the fucking. Ok, so the question was too much. Keishin knew he might be pushing it with that one.

“I think,” Takeda suddenly started again, after more than a couple seconds of silence, or, not silence, just moans. “I might,” his phrase was chopped up by heavy breaths, “like that.”  
He opened his eyes just a crack to look back up at Keishin, to emphasize the seriousness of his last point, “Another time.”

It was like a moment from a romance anime. Where the love interest says something and the main character’s eyes go wide and a big “ba-bum” flashes over the screen. Keishin’s heart pounded. Was it weird to have a moment like that in a moment like this? It was a moment like the moment you fall in love. And Takeda had just said he would be willing to have sex on camera. Keishin had always been a bit of a pervert, though.

He would analyze the significance of that heartbeat later, or better yet he would repress it and never think about it again, right now, he had his dick in an adorable little exhibitionist with a praise kink, and he wasn’t going to let it go to waste. 

He repositioned his grip on Takeda’s leg, giving him more power to yank him closer to his hips. He leaned down and braced the other one against the bed, angling himself just right to make gravity work with him. He narrowed his eyes on Takeda’s face, half pressed against the pillow, which was growing visibly wet from the drool pooling out onto it. God this little prude was so fucking dirty.

“Touch yourself,” Ukai commanded, breathlessly.  
“Hm,” was all Takeda responded with.  
“Touch yourself,” Ukai repeated, a little more forcefully, “I wanna watch you cum this time.”  
Takeda’s eyes fluttered open just a sliver and he looked up at Keishin, trying to take in the command. Without saying anything, he hesitantly released one of his hands from the sheets they were both twisted up in, and brought it down to his cock.  
“Say, ‘yes, Ukai-sama’,” Keishin instructed.  
A smile flashed over Takeda’s face, weak, and gone in an instant, but a genuine smile all the same.  
“Yes, Ukai-sama.”  
Obediently he began stroking his cock in rhythm with Keishin’s thrusting, which had begun growing a little faster.

“Tell me how it feels, Take-chan,” Keishin was slowly figuring out how to speak with his heavy breaths.  
Takeda seemed to still be struggling with that skill. His mouth was still cracked open, letting enticing little sounds slip through with every stroke.  
“It,” he huffed, “feels,” another breath, “good.”  
Holy shit he was so sexy. He’d stopped squeezing his eyes closed, meaning they fluttered open every time his face shook too much. His torso didn’t have much meat on it, so you could see his ribcage expand when he took his deep, shaky breaths. He chewed a little on the inside of his lip as he reached down and rubbed his own cock. Holy shit Keishin wanted to see him cum so badly.

When he noticed a slight pitch change in the near constant moans Takeda was making, he took it as a sign he would be there soon. Maybe they could cum together. Wouldn’t that be nice? He increased his tempo just a bit, waiting to make sure Takeda’s moans were still getting higher, that he was enjoying this, before he continued the steady quickening of his pace

Takeda’s hand kept pace perfectly, and his breaths and moans did, too. They were getting closer. They both were. Maybe they could really do it. The thrusts got faster and harder until it was clear they were where they needed to be. When he couldn’t go faster any more Keishin pulled back as far as he could without slipping out of Takeda’s ass, and rammed him as hard as he could. Takeda cried out like he was being paid to. Again, Keishin definitely needed to film him. 

Keishin pulled the same move about three more times before it totally, completely stuck. When he couldn’t dare bring himself to pull out of Takeda, the overwhelming pleasure of his orgasm was too much, but even if he wanted to he didn’t think the teacher’s ass would let him. It had a grip on him like his cock was the only thing keeping it alive. On the other side, Takeda’s cock was twitching in his hand as it spewed over his stomach and Keishin’s cheap bedsheets.

The slow pulsing of Takeda’s orgasm through his ass squeezed out every last drop of cum from Keishin’s throbbing cock. 

After a minute he pulled out, rolling over to the side of the bed to deal with the condom. Takeda flopped against the bed the second Keishin let him go, panting, but through a smile that made them sound almost like laughs. His whole body expanded and shrank with his heavy breaths. 

“Oh my god,” Takeda huffed between breaths, “Let’s do that again.”  
Keishin chuckled, his own breath almost as heavy as Takeda’s, and turned around to look at his face. It was red from heat and his hair was even messier than usual, his arms were splayed at his sides and his open, panting mouth was smiling wide.

“Have I kissed you Today?” he shook his head, remembering that morning, “Tonight, I mean.”  
Takeda’s expression became a little thoughtful, as if trying hard to remember.  
“I don’t think you have,” he snorted a little laugh, “sex without kissing. I don’t think I’ve done that before.”

Keishin stared, perplexed, down at the teacher. He didn’t care? He wasn’t offended that Keishin hadn’t kissed him? Did he not want Keishin to kiss him?

It didn’t matter. He wanted to kiss Takeda, so he was going to kiss Takeda. If the teacher wanted to check “sex without kissing” off his bucket list he could do it another day. Keishin wanted to kiss him now.


	9. Long Nights

Once they started, things heated up quickly between Takeda and Ukai. It wasn’t a surprise. They worked together, so they saw each other nearly every day. They were both young, well young enough, single and horny. There wasn’t a lot else they had to do after work hours. It became obvious that it would be harder for them to keep off each other than it was for them to hook up.

The third time they had sex was the Tuesday. The day after the second time. Takeda had found a joint in the club room, which he had “confiscated”.  
Ukai laughed when he pulled it out of his pocket, sort of nervously.  
“Tanaka?” he asked.  
“I don’t know,” Ittetsu admitted, “It wasn’t in a locker it was on top of one.”

Keishin chuckled again. He’d seen Sugawara clearly high during a couple practices, and some of the snacks he sometimes put on the counter at the market could not possibly be eaten in a sober state, but Tanaka was only the one he’d caught buying rolling papers, and Ukai was pretty sure he used to sell weed to his sister when she was in highschool and he was in college. 

“You want to smoke it?” he asked.  
Ittetsu looked, wide eyed at the contraband in front of them. The last time he’d smoked weed was in college. He’d only done it twice, with some friends he made in first year. The rest of his friends didn’t like those people though, so he lost touch with them after first year. He remembered being high was sort of fun, though. He remembered laughing.

“Yeah,” he finally said, with a resolute nod, “Yeah, I do.”

Ukai held back a laugh, seeing Ittetsu’s determination. He took the joint from the teacher and put it in his mouth, pushing his hand into his jacket to fumble for a lighter.  
“You don’t smoke weed often?”

“You do?”  
Ittetsu took in the image of Ukai with the joint in his mouth, it looked natural. It didn’t look that different than a cigarette, but he was conscious that it was different. That it was a drug. That it was illegal. Ittetsu had always been a bit of a stickler for the rules, but for some reason he wasn’t mad that Ukai wasn’t. For some reason he liked it. He loved it. For some reason it was... hot.

Ukai flicked his lighter at the tip of it, the same way he did with a cigarette. This was happening. They were going to smoke weed. 

Ukai sucked a little and Ittetsu watched as the end of it lit up bright orange. He took it from his mouth and handed it to Ittetsu before tilting his head back. He exhaled a large cloud of smoke that bloomed up towards the ceiling.  
“Is it alright that we do this in here?” Ittetsu asked, looking around Ukai’s dimly lit apartment.  
Ukai laughed, “It already smells like cigarettes and beer, I probably won’t even smell the weed.”  
That made Ittetsu chuckle, “That’s disgusting.”  
Ukai looked Ittetsu up and down, smiling, “Yeah, well you’re still here,” he dragged a hand along Ittetsu’s jaw, “Guess my dick’s just that good.”

Ittetsu got a little flustered, dropping his eyes back to the lit joint in his hand.  
“You’re going to have to help me with this,” he changed the subject and cleared his throat, “I can’t remember the last time I smoked.”

Ukai grinned, “You want me to?”  
He took the joint back from Ittetsu and took in another big hit. Holding it in his lungs, he placed a hand on Ittetsu’s head, pushing it back to face up at him. His other hand was still holding the joint, so he couldn’t open his mouth for him, but he nodded at Ittetsu, hoping he would get the signal. It took a quick second, a second where Ukai still had to hold his breath, but Ittetsu dropped his jaw.

Ukai leaned forward, just above the teacher’s mouth, before he opened his.   
Letting out as little smoke as possible he murmured his instructions, “Now breathe in.”  
Finally he let the smoke in his lungs pour into Ittetsu’s open mouth, finishing it with a deep kiss. He hadn’t planned to, but it was hard to resist with his face right there. Ittetsu exhaled the smoke through his nose, not wanting to break the kiss, and weaved his fingers through Keishin’s hair.

Ukai pulled off after a couple seconds, “Eager, aren’t you.”  
Ittetsu blushed, “You kissed me,” he argued.  
“I was just trying to help you smoke,” Ukai lied, “What a dirty mind you’ve got, sensei.”  
He looked down at the joint, “We’ve still got a lot left to go, want to do it yourself this time?”  
Ittetsu paused, eyes darting from the joint to Ukai and back again.  
“Maybe you should help me out one more time.”

Ittetsu got stupendously high. More because he wanted to keep shotgunning than because he wanted to smoke more. It was hot, he couldn’t help it. It was fun though, being high like that. The only downside was that his mouth was too dry to suck Ukai’s dick, and holy shit he wanted to suck it so bad. The sex was crazy though, Ittetsu nearly blacked out in ecstasy.

* * *

On Friday of that week, exactly one week since the first time they hooked up, Takeda had to work late. He was in his office grading until past 9 pm, but he told Keishin if he wanted to come by when he was finished they could go out and get dinner together or something. Keishin was excited, he’d never been at school after hours before. When he was a student people used to get in big trouble for that, so he’d always thought of it as very rebellious.

When he arrived at Takeda’s office he was still working hard, unmarked tests spread out in front of him.  
“Hey sensei,” he called from the door, causing Takeda’s head to turn.  
“Is it 9:30 already?”’ Takeda asked, flicking his wrist to look at his watch, “I’m sorry Ukai-san, I’ve still got,” he paused, flipping through the papers on his desk, “like fifteen minutes of work left? Are you ok to wait?”

Keishin frowned, but he had nothing better to do, so he would just have to wait. He pulled out the chair next to Takeda’s and made himself comfortable, picking up a book from the desk in front of him and flipping through it lazily.  
“So, shared offices.”  
“Mm,” Takeda hummed, head still buried in tests.  
“It’s a shame you don’t have a private office. That would be more fun.”  
This made Takeda raise his head for a second, looking at Ukai to read his expression. He didn’t say anything though, dropping his head back to his work after a second.  
“I mean,” Ukai sweeped the room slowly with his eyes for security cameras and then back to Takeda, “I suppose we could have fun in here. It would just be a little dirtier.”  
Ittetsu snapped his eyes up to meet Ukai’s, forming a fervent gaze.   
“Having sex where all your coworkers sit all day? Having to sit in that desk knowing exactly what you’ve done on it? That would feel pretty weird, eh?”  
Ittetsu just stared at him, silently begging him to continue the thought. To finish what he was saying.  
“You like that, Take-chan?” Ukai smiled, “You tend to like pretty twisted things, don’t you?”

Keishin didn’t didn’t know if it was consciously or unconsciously, but Takeda rolled his chair away from his desk a little, turning his body so there was space in front of him. Space for Keishin to stand. He did exactly that, getting up from the other chair and moving right in front of Ittetsu, quickly brushing a hand under his jaw and burning a kiss onto his lips. 

He didn’t break the kiss as he unzipped Takeda’s little green windbreaker. He didn’t break the kiss when he pushed it off his shoulders. He had to break the kiss when he pulled Takeda’s white t-shirt over his head, but his lips quickly returned to Takeda’s. He started dropping the kisses lower to his jaw, then to his neck, and from his collarbones to his chest then trailed them down his stomach.

Takeda moaned when Ukai kissed him at the waistband of his pants, and this made Keishin raise his head to look at him.  
“Keep making those sounds and I may have to bend you right over this desk,” he warned.  
Takeda opened his eyes halfway, giving them a sexy, darkened look.  
“Were you not already going to?” he pleaded.   
Something turned over in Keishin’s stomach.   
“God, Take-chan, I was just going to suck your dick,” he couldn’t do that now though, he couldn’t not fuck him when the teacher wanted him that bad, “We don’t have lube, or condoms, though.”

Ittetsu contemplated.   
“Maybe we could do that thigh thing?”  
A smile flickered on Ukai’s face. He knew what Takeda meant, he just didn’t know how he knew about that.  
“What thigh thing?” he asked, hoping to fluster him a bit.  
Just as he hoped, Takeda’s face flushed red.  
“Um, the thigh thing,” he said again, “where I put my thighs together and you…”  
His voice trailed off, and Ukai just smiled.  
“Go on,” he urged, “I what?”  
“Well, you put your dick,” Ittetsu paused for a second, blushing and struggling, “You put it between my thighs, and you sort of,” it was at this point that he finally looked down at Ukai and saw the wide grin on his face. It was at that point that he realised Ukai was teasing him, “Oh fuck off, Ukai.”

This made the coach’s grin turn into a laugh.  
“I’m sorry, sensei,” he purred, raising himself back up to look in Takeda’s eyes when he said “It’s just so cute when you talk dirty.”  
He put his mouth back on Takeda’s neck, kissing him fiercely. Ittetsu was glad. It meant he couldn’t see him smile. He didn’t want Ukai to know how much he liked being called cute by him.

They did “the thigh thing” as Ittetsu called it. He bent over his desk, naked, legs crossed at the ankle, and Ukai fucked him between his thighs. It felt good, rubbing in all the sensitive areas. The danger of doing it in such a public setting, the utter wrongness of doing it at school, definitely added to the sensation, but he knew it could be better.

“I want more,” he huffed, his arms braced against his desk, so he couldn’t see Ukai’s face, “I want you inside of me.”  
“Fuck,” Ukai cursed from behind him, he could hear the pleasure seeping through in his voice, that made this feel better, “Where’d you learn to talk like that?”  
He grabbed Ittetsu’s ass as he said it, with enough force that it could count as a slap. Ittetsu moaned a little, arching his back to get more contact with Ukai’s dick.  
“It’s the truth,” Ittetsu squeezed his eyes closed, “I want it so bad.”  
“Shit, you think I don’t want it too?” he slipped his thumb between Ittetsu’s ass cheeks, drawing a line down towards his hole, “You think I don’t want to fuck you like the slut you are?”  
Both men sharply inhaled as Keishin pushed his cock against Ittetsu’s.  
“Fuck you’re so big,” Takeda muttered to his desk.  
“Fuck you’re so adorable,” Ukai responded.  
“Fuck it feels... so... good,” Takeda moaned, rocking on the desk. Sure, his ass was aching for Ukai’s dick, but if this was what he got, he surely could manage.  
“I’m gonna cum,” Ukai warned him.  
“Shit, me too.”

* * *

The Wednesday of the second week was one of Keishin’s favourite times. Ittetsu’s too, though he seemed to be compiling a long list of favourites. But Wednesday was… Wednesday was special. It was when Ittetsu admitted he would like to try bondage.

Keishin had been half joking when he suggested it. He had told Takeda to sit back and let him do what he wanted, but the teacher’s hands kept ending up in Keishin’s bleached hair anyways, pushing and pulling his head more than he probably meant to. Probably more than he even realised he was doing.

Keishin had looked up at him from his position over his stomach and teased, “Are you going to start listening to me, or do I have to tie you up, sensei?”

He’d expected Takeda to move his hands away without further argument, maybe a little reluctant flicker of arousal in his eye. But instead he was met almost immediately with a sinfully mischievous smile. And Keishin could tell that he was trying to hold it back, so his grin naturally grew even wider. They held each other’s gaze for a second, before Takeda, with a small twitch of his smile, buried his hand deeper into Keishin’s hair as an act of calculated resistance.   
“Oh you little-” Ukai raised himself up off of Takeda’s body, his smile almost as wide as his partner’s.

Grabbing Ittetsu by each arm, Ukai quickly flipped the teacher onto his front. Takeda let out an uncharacteristic short, high pitched giggle at the exhilaration of it all, and Ukai didn’t stop. He moved his hands down Takeda’s arms, until they met at his wrists. He transferred the two slender wrists into one large hand and moved the other to his waist, disappointed to remember he was wearing track pants. Takeda, on the other hand, was wearing dress pants. He had a belt.

With the hand still holding Takeda’s wrists, he pulled him back, causing Takeda to stand up on his knees. At this point, Keishin snaked his hand around Takeda’s waist, unlatching and pulling his belt smoothly out of the loops. He paused for a second, belt in hand and face right next to Takeda’s. In the silence of the moment, he could hear Takeda’s heavy breath, as well as his own, but under them both he could hear a heartbeat. One that he knew was beating faster than his own.

“Tell me, if I’m being too rough, ok?” he didn’t know if Takeda had done anything like this before, and he wouldn’t be able to use his hands soon, “Tell me right away.”  
Takeda turned to look at him over his shoulder, his smile was still just as wide. Something about the look made Keishin’s heart beat faster.  
“Yeah,” he spoke, voice breathy with anticipation, “definitely.”

He said it with a sort of anticipatory impatience, like the thought of Keishin being too rough wasn’t even a concern to him. Like he thought it was a waste of time to even discuss it. Like he wanted Keishin to just shut up and fuck him already, and Keishin wasn’t going to make him ask twice.

He placed the free hand, the one with the belt in it, between Ittetsu’s shoulder blades, pushing him forward, hard. He crashed into the mattress with another little excited laugh, and Ukai got to work fastening his hands behind him with his skinny black belt he’d just bought a month or so ago. It was still new enough that the leather hadn’t really worn in, and it’s edges were still sort of sharp as they tightened around the sensitive skin on Ittetsu’s wrists.

For a second Ittetsu didn’t know what was happening, his face was pressed into the pillows, and Ukai wasn’t making a sound. He turned his head as much as possible, to try and see over his shoulder, only to see Ukai pulling his shirt over his head.  
“Look at you, trying to sneak a peek,” he smiled down at him, “Can’t have that.”  
Ittetsu bit down on his still growing smile, “We can’t?”  
Ukai leaned down, lifting Takeda up just a bit off his mattress, enough to wrap the shirt he’d just removed around his head, tying it up like a blindfold. Ukai’s smell still lingered on his shirt making Ittetsu want him even more.   
“There,” Ittetsu could hear the smile in Ukai’s voice, “That’s better.”

It was easy for Keishin to pull off Takeda’s pants with his belt already wrapped around his wrists, and all his earlier plans to take it slow, to carefully tease Takeda, play with him until he was begging to be fucked, would have to wait for another day. Right now Takeda was trembling in anticipation of a rough fucking and it was the last thing Keishin wanted to do was let him down. 

He reached for the bottle of lube, trying to open it as quietly as possible, so he could give Takeda a little shock. It worked. A visible shiver took Takeda when the cold, wet fluid made contact with his skin, making him arch his back. Keishin followed immediately after with his two fingers. It wasn’t hard now, to get his fingers in, given the fact that he fucked that hole nearly every night, but Takeda still groaned at the feeling.

Enjoying the sight of Takeda with his hands tied behind his back and his head wrapped in his T-shirt, Keishin used his free hand to lower the waistband of his pants, freeing his hard cock and rubbing over it with a bit of lube, although he thought Takeda’s asshole could do without it.   
“Condom?” he asked, “Or are you ready for me to learn what it feels like to have a man cum inside you?”  
Takeda’s body responded before he did, twitching around Keishin’s fingers.  
“I-” he huffed into the sheets, “I’m ready.”  
Keishin felt his smile grow a little wider, he normally didn’t mind condoms, and they were so much safer and cleaner and easier to deal with, but at that moment he was ecstatic to hear that there wouldn’t be anything between his skin and Ittetsu’s. 

Takeda let out a short sort of pained yelp, and Ukai wasn’t sure if it was a result of his dick entering him or the sharp tug on his restraints that accompanied it. Either way he leaned forward.  
“Does it hurt, Take-chan?”  
Ittetsu took a second to steady his breath before he responded, “I like it.”  
Keishin couldn’t help but huff out a laugh, “Right answer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I think this might be peak horny for me... Next chapter it's gonna calm down again.


	10. Thoughts

Keishin stared across the store, eyes half focused on a box of strawberry milk in the fridge on the opposite wall. A cigarette hung out of the side of his mouth, lacing his breath with just enough nicotine to keep withdrawal headaches at bay. His fingers drummed against the plastic coated countertop, tapping out a steady rhythm that quickly turned to white noise in his head.

What to do, what to do. 

It had only been about two weeks since he'd first slept with Takeda and they'd already been together what? Nine times since? 

They’d had a lot of sex, that’s all I’m saying. It might sound conceited, but Keishin was never surprised that Takeda wanted to fuck him. I mean, he got that vibe from him the first time they met, and there were enough people in general that wanted him that it was safe to assume that as the default. The thing that surprised him was how okay the teacher seemed to be with just that. This could sound conceited too, but he was surprised he didn’t want anything more.

It’s not that he thought Takeda must have feelings for him. He wasn’t that narcissistic that he thought every person that touched his dick wanted to marry him or something, but he thought it would be a little more complicated than it was. For god sake, the man had only slept with two other people in his entire life. Keishin had slept with more people by the time he turned sixteen.

They’d discussed it recently, huddled on the floor of Keishin’s apartment, mostly naked, wrapped in blankets, waiting for the chinese delivery they’d ordered after an hour or two in bed. Keishin had been shocked by Takeda’s sexual history, or more accurately, the lack of one, but not nearly as shocked as Takeda had been when he heard about Keishin’s. He downplayed it a lot, too. He said he couldn’t remember the exact number, but he could, it was 56, well, 57 including Takeda. He didn’t know what the teacher would say to those numbers. It was certainly very different than _two_.

So Keishin was only the third person Takeda had slept with. The third person. Ever. And he’d never had a one night stand, never had any sort of friends with benefits arrangement, he’d never had casual sex, so it would make sense if he had some trouble adjusting. Lots of people get confused with these kind of things, getting their attraction confused for romantic feelings, getting sex confused with dating. Keishin would understand if Takeda was struggling with it, too.

But Takeda didn't seem confused. He seemed happy. Eager. He couldn't keep his hands off Keishin and, after the little awkward sleepover invitation on their first night together, he'd quickly adapted to the utter lack of romance. Sometimes even Keishin found himself lying naked in bed, watching Takeda dress himself to head home, wishing he would stay for just a minute more. Wishing they could talk a little, even cuddle. I mean, it wasn't a bad thing. It was good that Takeda wasn't catching feelings or getting confused. Keishin did not want a relationship. It was just, sort of, weird.

"Excuse me."  
He shook himself out of the trance he'd been locked in, his cigarette had grown a long tip of ash that he quickly moved to tap out in his ashtray. He raised his eyes to the woman in front of him, she was holding a single bottle of cold green tea.

"What were you thinking about?" She smiled at him with a notable twinkle of mischief in her eye.  
Oh, she was flirting. He took a second to consider the woman before responding. She was older than him, probably in her early thirties. She was elegantly dressed in one of those suits for women with a tight pencil skirt instead of pants, Keishin didn’t know what they were called. Her hair was down, but combed so straight it looked tidier than a bun. She was pretty, really pretty, and the sparkle in her eyes led Keishin to believe the two of them could have a good bit of fun together.

"Can't remember," he lied as he took the tea from her hand, matching her playful smile, "must have been important, though, if it distracted me from you."  
The woman laughed, looking away from him like she was trying to stop herself from rolling her eyes. The right reaction to a cheesy line like that, in Keishin’s opinion at least.  
"You're cute," she looked back at him, "call me."  
She placed her business card on the counter, the exact change for the tea balanced on top, and took her purchase back from Keishin's hand.

He picked up the card, a smile stretching over his face as he watched her walk out, not even trying to stop himself from staring at her ass. She seemed to be inviting him to anyway, the way she was swinging it as she walked.

What had he been worrying about earlier? Takeda not cuddling him? He couldn't believe how ridiculous he'd been. There were so many better things he could be thinking about.

* * *

“You excited for training camp?”  
It was a totally reasonable question for a teacher to ask a coach. A perfectly normal thing to say when something they’d been planning forever was coming up in just a few days, but Keishin knew what Takeda was implying. Why he leaned over his shoulder and said it quietly by his ear instead of asking it aloud. 

They were having a lot of sex now, but they were going to have _a lot_ more on that trip.

It wasn’t as if Keishin hadn’t thought of it. The fact that they would be spending an entire week together. He remembered how much debauchery took place on those trips even when he was in highschool. He’d given his first ever blowjob during a training camp with Nekoma. He didn’t want to think that the teachers got up to the same things, especially when his grandfather had been one of those teachers, but it was probably true. It would definitely be true this year, at least.

Of course he’d thought of it, but he hadn’t expected Takeda to be thinking of those kinds of things. He generally took anything to do with volleyball really seriously. Maybe he shouldn’t be surprised though. He’d seen enough of Takeda by this point to know that man was at least as horny as he was. He made himself smile with the thought. He turned his eyes on the teacher, wishing they weren’t in the school gym that moment, wishing he could ask exactly what it was he was imagining would take place that week.

“Of course I’m excited,” he said instead, his smile the only indication that he understood the implication, “It’ll be good for the team to have such strong practice partners.”  
Takeda laughed, turning his head to the volleyball court, where the students were playing a practice game by themselves.  
“Of course, of course,” he turned a wicked smile on Ukai, “the team.”

Keishin saw Takeda’s expression quickly out of his peripheral vision before he focused his eyes sharply on Tanaka, who had just jumped for a spike. He would meet Takeda’s eye but something about the smile made him feel weird. It made his stomach feel uneasy. Butterflies, I guess. He got them sometimes when Takeda teased him a little too much, or said something a little too dirty. It wasn’t romantic, it couldn’t be, if it all had to do with sex, but the feeling made Keishin uncomfortable. He tried to avoid it when he could.

When he left practice that day, Keishin’s hand went straight to his pocket. To the business card he knew was waiting there.

“I know there’s a thing about waiting,” he admitted over the phone  
The woman laughed, “Three days, isn’t it?”  
“I think so,” he knew so, he’d strictly followed that rule back in university, “but the thing is, I’m actually going to Tokyo next week.”  
“You are?”  
Keishin could hear the amusement in her voice. He wasn’t sure if she thought he was lying, or if she just thought he was cute. Either way he liked the sound of it.  
“I am,” he smiled, “So I was wondering if you wanted to waive the waiting period. Just this once.”  
She laughed a little. A cute laugh, “For you?”  
Ooh, Keishin was going to like her, “For me?”  
“I guess I can manage that. For you,” she paused, and Keishin imagined she was opening some type of day planner or something. She seemed like the type to use a day planner, “I’m free tomorrow night, 8pm, Mitsui Garden Hotel?”  
It was somewhere between a statement and question, but Keishin didn’t mind clear instructions. With Takeda he’d become used to being the one giving them, but receiving was just as fun.  
“Sounds good, see you there.”

It would be good to fuck someone else. Especially before the madness that would no doubt go down at that training camp. It would be good to remind himself that other people existed. His brain had been a little too clouded with Takeda recently. Maybe this would figure out the weird stomach thing he’d been having too.

* * *

It was weird to hear that Ukai was busy. He had the right to make plans, obviously, but Ittetsu just wasn’t used to it. Since they’d started sleeping together he’d kind of forgot that you could do other things. They’d spent almost every night of the last couple weeks together, only skipping a couple out of exhaustion more than anything else. It kind of took Ittetsu by surprise when he told Ukai, as they lounged on the coach’s bed sweaty and tired, that they should do his place the following night, and Ukai told him he was getting drinks with a friend.

“Oh,” Ittetsu tried to shake the shock, “That’s fine, that’s good, I mean, sounds fun.”

Ukai gave him a little look. Ittetsu wasn’t sure exactly what it meant but he was interpreting it as a bit of a warning. A sort of, “I wasn’t asking your permission”. He wouldn’t be mad if that was what Ukai meant by it, Ittetsu had spoken without thinking. He really didn’t mean to make it seem like Ukai had to tell him these kinds of things in advance. He really didn’t mean to make it seem like he had some kind of control over him. 

“What should I do then?” Ittetsu laughed, trying to ignore the awkward energy, “I guess I’ve gotten used to getting fucked to sleep every night.”

He looked over at Ukai for a reaction. He thought it would cheer him up to hear that, he tended to love when Ittetsu talked dirty. He especially loved when Ittetsu cursed. It didn’t work though. For some reason, Ukai still looked weirdly serious. Weirdly, sort of, upset.

“So, who are you drinking with?” More than actually wanting to know, Ittetsu just asked to get Ukai talking again. It was weird that he was so quiet.  
“No one you know,” Ukai sort of grumbled as he rolled up into a sitting position at the side of the bed, “You gonna get going soon? We have work in the morning.”

Ittetsu eyed him cautiously. He was now accustomed to the fact that Ukai didn’t do sleepovers. He’d actually started to appreciate that he got to spend part of the night alone, sleeping comfortably in his own bed, but he didn’t normally get kicked out like this. Normally Ukai let him make his way out on his own time, and normally if he didn’t get out of bed Ukai took that to mean they weren’t finished. It was weird for him to ask him to leave, but everything about the coach was weird today. The plans, the short answers, the weird looks, and now this? 

Ittetsu wasn’t going to push it, he understood how Ukai was with serious conversations, but he just hoped he would get over whatever this was before training camp. Of course they were going for the team, and practice, and tradition, and blah blah blah, but it wouldn’t be half as much fun if Ukai was like this. If Ukai wasn’t going to be pulling him in closets and around corners and into his room in the night. If Ukai wasn’t going to fuck him repeatedly until his ass was so sore he winced at every bump the schoolbus hit on the way back. It would be fine, it just wouldn’t be as much fun.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ittetsu drew himself back to the present, back to Ukai’s apartment, where he was still wrapped in his sheets, “Yeah, I’ll head out.”

He sat up, letting his blankets fall away and his body be exposed. He didn’t even notice it anymore, being naked around Ukai. I mean, sometimes they did shit like that second time, when Ukai watched him extra closely, and then he was certainly aware of it, but for the most part they did everything at least half naked, and Ittetsu wasn’t ever insecure. Ukai’s eyes landed on his back as he leaned over the side of the bed, fishing for the shirt that had gone flying earlier in the night, and Ittetsu smiled. He enjoyed the casual gaze.

“You sure you’re done with me?” Ittetsu turned to him holding his shirt out in front of him, delaying as much as possible before he put it back on.  
Finally Ukai smiled back at him, “Cheeky.”  
Ittetsu shifted to turn himself fully towards him, “So?”  
Ukai leaned closer, close enough to push his fingers through Ittetsu’s hair, “You’re cute,” he kissed him quickly, managing to grab his bottom lip with his teeth and tug it lightly as he pulled back, “But I’m good, go home.”

Ittetsu faked a pout, but honestly he was just glad Ukai was smiling again. Hopefully it meant whatever he was concerned about earlier wasn’t a big deal. Hopefully it meant he would be fine by the time they got to training camp.

It was weird for Keishin, watching Ittetsu leave that night. Weird because it felt sort of bad. Weird because he felt… unhappy. He could tell it had something to do with his plans the next night, he had felt weird telling Takeda about them, he had felt weird watching his response. It could be guilt, except, he didn’t even know if Takeda would be mad at him. He didn’t even know if he would be hurt.

Maybe what felt so bad about it was that he didn’t know. He had no idea how Takeda would react if he told him. He obviously didn’t want to hurt him, but for some reason he could bear the idea of him not caring. For some reason that seemed worse. For some reason he wanted it to hurt.

He returned to his room, shuffling around the mess of dirty clothes for the pants Takeda had tugged off him earlier before sucking his dick with his recently acquired expertise. The business card was still stuffed in the pocket. Okamoto Mai. That was the woman’s name. He hadn’t even bothered to look at it, and there was no way she knew his.

That was normally part of the fun of it, right? Meaningless sex? Nameless strangers in a sterile hotel room with nothing connecting them but their bodies? That was what made it exciting, right?

For some reason it sounded depressing in Keishin’s head. Meaningless. It wasn’t really a good word, was it? It felt shitty that she didn’t know his name. If he didn’t show up would she even care? Would she just find another guy to fuck her? It felt shitty that it didn’t matter. To him, to her, maybe that’s why he wanted to imagine it would matter to Takeda. Maybe that’s why he wanted to imagine he would be hurt. 

He thought back to Takeda’s smile, earlier in the night.  
“I guess I’ve gotten used to being fucked to sleep every night.”  
Was it weird that Keishin didn’t like that he said that? He’d been hard at work corrupting Takeda over the last two weeks. More, if he was being honest. He’d been encouraging every dirty thought that passed through the teacher’s mind, pushing him to ask for more. 

Now, Takeda had basically admitted to using Keishin as a sex toy and fuck, it was so hot. Fuck, it was exactly what he’d wanted, so why did it feel so shit? The fun was supposed to come from the meaninglessness, from the fact that none of it mattered, so why was that the exact thing making Keishin feel so fucking worthless.

He looked down at the little paper card, folded in a couple spots from being so carelessly handled. For a second he almost considered calling her back, calling it off. What the hell was Takeda doing to him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm gonna take a week break from updating for three reasons:  
> 1\. School started  
> 2\. I've used up my stockpile and I'm not trynna be stressed for uploads  
> 3\. Next chapter is TRAINING CAMP!! and I want it to be good not rushed
> 
> Also I have some other fics in the works I might try and finish we'll see  
> See you guys next week!


	11. Overnight Trips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Attempted sexual assault
> 
> If people want to skip this chapter I can put a summary in the notes of next chapter

Ittetsu had always loved trips. He’d never been very wealthy, so he very rarely went overseas, his last trip outside of Japan was nearly five years ago when he’d gone to Korea, but little trips to Tokyo, Osaka, camping trips in the mountains, or weekends away at the beach had always been exciting to him. 

He packed his bag similarly to how he always packed. The number of folded pairs of crisp white socks exactly matching the number he was there for. Same with his shirts, appropriate for the dresswear of his destination, and two folded pairs of pants. This time, though, there was an additional burden he’d never had to make room for before. He found himself shoving down the stack of black boxer briefs in order to make room for the box of condoms. Enough for them to do it probably four times every day, way more than was probably necessary, but he’d much rather be ready for whatever came his way.

He also found himself considering his half-full bottle of lube. He’d bought it only a week ago, but they’d used so much of it he was wondering whether it would be better to transfer it to a smaller container to make it easier to pack. 

Oh god, he thought to himself, what was he doing? What if someone saw his bag? What if a student saw it? What would he even say? What excuse could he come up with for bringing 36 condoms and half a bottle of lube on a school trip? He felt his face heat up, but he shoved the bottle in the suitcase anyways, immediately covering it with some of the rest of his clothes. 

It was embarrassing, sure, but it was worth the risk. The visions he’d had of the next week had clouded his thoughts for days. If the trip was anything like that, if Ukai did half the things Ittetsu wanted him to… Ittetsu zipped closed his suitcase. It was well worth the risk.

Ittetsu peered at his watch quickly. It was just past nine. Ukai was probably out drinking with whoever right now. The only friends of the coach Ittetsu had met were those volleyball buddies of his, and though he knew it couldn’t be them, because Ukai said he didn’t know the people he was meeting, but he was picturing some guys similar to them. He was picturing them in some shady bar somewhere, downing cheap beer and yelling about some sports game or some other hyper-masculine thing Ittetsu had never really been able to get into.

He wondered when they would finish drinking. He wondered if maybe Ukai would show up at his door in the middle of the night, piss drunk and ready to fuck him into the morning. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Ittetsu had sort of hinted at that earlier in the day. When Ukai stepped out of the gym for a smoke break, the teacher had followed him, tried to ask him more about his plans, and for some reason Ukai had sort of clammed up. It was like the night before, when he’d first brought it up, when he’d asked Ittetsu to leave. Ittetsu was pretty sure he missed the hint, which was strange. 

Ukai could normally pick up on the fact that Ittetsu wanted his dick with scary accuracy. It was like he had some sense for it. Even when Ittetsu tried to hide it Ukai would sometimes get this little sparkle in his eye and a little smile on his face and it was clear the teacher was busted. Hopefully that sense would be back when they got to training camp. Hopefully this was just a temporary thing.

* * *

The sense wasn’t back when they got to training camp. Either that or Ukai knew how badly Ittetsu wanted him and was denying him anyway, which Ittetsu couldn’t bring himself to believe. Ukai was always horny. He always wanted sex. He’d only ever said no to Ittetsu when there was some outside reason stopping him. Ittetsu refused to believe he was choosing to stay abstinent on this trip, but it was nearing the end of the first day and nothing had happened. 

Sure, it had been less than twelve hours since they got on the bus, but still. Ukai hadn’t laid a hand on Ittetsu, he hadn’t even really flirted. 

When Ittetsu noticed half the bus was asleep and he purred in Ukai’s ear, “got any plans for today?” Ukai just kind of shrugged. He didn’t even smile. Ittetsu wasn’t sure if he even understood what he was asking, but it’s not like it was shrouded in mystery. It was so strange.

When they were shown their rooms and told they had about half an hour to set up before the first practice game, Ittetsu had tapped his chin, “what could we do in thirty minutes?” Ukai had completely ignored him, barely unpacking his duffel bag before he made his way back to the gym, saying something about drills or stretches. 

When Ittetsu returned to the gym after a little lap around and laid a delicate hand on Ukai’s shoulder, pulling his face close to the coach’s ear to say, “What did I miss?” Ukai didn’t shudder, or smile, or look at him with that fire in his eyes. He just looked forward, at the game. He just answered the question.  
He was acting weird and cold and way too focused on coaching for someone whose usual motto was, “and what exactly do you want me to do about that?”

“Is- Is something wrong, Ukai-kun?” Takeda asked him hesitantly as they made their way to dinner.  
Ukai looked at Ittetsu as if he hadn’t noticed him standing beside him, “Huh? Why?”  
“Well,” Takeda paused, _you haven’t been flirting with me_? It sounded so stupid and juvenile. It sounded desperate. He couldn’t think of a world in which he could say that and not get made fun of by Ukai. “you just seem, sort of, distant.”  
Ukai huffed a laugh, ruffling his hand through Ittetsu’s hair, the first contact he’d made all day.  
“You sound so serious, Take-chan,” he teased, sounding a little closer to his normal tone. Then after a beat, “I’m fine.”

Ittetsu watched him for a second. _So you’ll fuck me tonight?_ He couldn’t bring himself to actually ask it, but that was what he really wanted to know. Maybe if things were normal, if his relationship with Ukai was normal, he could do it, but it was way too hard with the way he was acting now.

When Ukai was his everyday, outgoing, infinitely flirty self, Ittetsu could flirt back without feeling self conscious. Hell, with the things Ukai said sometimes, it was easy for Ittetsu to slip in some  
insanely dirty stuff without drawing too much attention, but with Ukai ignoring his advances? With Ukai not saying a word? Ittetsu found himself staring at a wall, completely unsure how to get past it. 

“Ok,” was all he said. 

But the night came, and Ittetsu told Ukai he was going to bed. He couldn’t bring himself to say it as flirtatiously as he wanted to, terrified of Ukai’s lack of enthusiasm, but he still leaned in close to tell him, hoping that would convey what he wanted it to.

Ukai responded with a simple, “Ok, goodnight,” but they were in the middle of the gym, surrounded by a bunch of kids, so it made sense he didn’t say much, right? He didn’t follow directly after Ittetsu, but he had to shower and get himself ready anyways. 

It was an hour after Ittetsu finished his bedtime routine that he finally decided Ukai wasn’t coming to his room. An hour of sitting in a slowly dampening towel, flipping though the book he packed with not even enough focus to consume one page properly, glancing at the clock every five minutes and getting more and more embarrassed each time he did. 

“Ukai-san?” Ittetsu asked hesitantly, knocking at the door to the room he knew the coach had been assigned.

After receiving only silence, Ittetsu pushed at the door, it was unlocked, Ukai was not inside. Ittetsu breathed a heavy sigh, standing at the doorway. Were they really not going to do anything the first day? Was he really just going to go to sleep, like he had last night, unhappy, unsatisfied, untouched?

No. No. Ittetsu had been fantasizing about spending every minute of this trip with Ukai for weeks. He’d packed 36 fucking condoms and he would be damned if he went home with any more than half. With a little huff of determination, Ittetsu marched back to his room, collected the materials, on the off chance that Ukai hadn’t packed the exact same things, and walked right back into the coach’s room. 

“I’m going to do it,” he muttered to himself, needing to hear the words aloud, “I’m going to seduce him. I’m going to…”  
He paused, looking around the small room, hands occupied with condoms and lube. What the hell was he going to do? 

He emptied his hands onto the little desk in the corner and looked down at himself. He was wearing his pale blue button down pyjamas, but it’s not as if he could wander the halls of nekoma in some kind of lingerie. Should he get naked? But what if Ukai walked in and didn’t want him? He couldn’t just sit, naked on the guy’s bed. But maybe he should, maybe that’s how you’re meant to seduce someone. 

His scanning eyes finally settled on a bottle. A bottle of, he peered closer, tequila. 48% alcohol content. Ukai had brought liquor? On a school trip? Ittetsu would normally scold him for something like that, but what could he really say given what he’d brought.

With a little glance at the door, ensuring it was closed, that there wasn’t some student coming to tell him he had a stomach ache or something, Ittetsu twisted open the cap. He thought seduction would be easier with a little tequila in his system. It would certainly be easier to get him out of these pyjamas.

* * *

“Takeda?” 

The teacher grumbled, rolling over a little in his sleep. He heard the rumbling of a door being shut, then a couple heavy steps.  
“Hey,” Ukai hissed, much quieter than his earlier outburst, crouching close to the bed.  
Ittetsu groaned one more time, before pulling his eyes open, and blinking at the face above him.  
“Ukai?” he mumbled quietly as he came into focus. A smile slowly spread on his face, a devious one, “What are you doing here?”  
“What am I doing here? Ha!” sarcasm wasn’t unusual for him, but Takeda felt a small edge to it this time, “Take-chan, you’re in _my_ bed.”

Ittetsu was still a little tipsy, though more sober than when he fell asleep, he had no concept of how long ago that was. He looked down at himself, wrapped in the sheets, and then up at Ukai, chuckling softly.  
“Oh yeah,” he bubbled, “I’m gonna seduce you.”  
Ukai’s eyes shot to the lube and condoms on the desk. He must have seen them when he came in because he looked like he knew they were there. A slightly uncharacteristic, worried expression passed over his face.

Tipsy and tired enough that he couldn’t parse the meaning of that strange look, Ittetsu just pushed himself up onto his knees, and waddled over towards the coach.

“You haven’t touched me all day,” Ittetsu practically whined, too drunk to care that Ukai wasn’t flirting back, “You didn’t fuck me yesterday, either. You had _better plans_.”  
His hands found the edge of Ukai’s pants, and his eyes found Ukai’s, “I need you to touch me, Ukai-san. I need you to make me feel good.”

“Takeda,” Ukai grumbled, and it came out almost like a sigh.  
The coach’s head was in one large hand, and he was squeezing at his temples like he was developing a heavy headache. His face was red, maybe embarrassed, maybe aroused, maybe frustrated, Ittetsu couldn’t quite know. The growing bulge showing through his horrible track pants said aroused, though, and Ittetsu cared more about the dick’s opinion than the head’s. 

He pulled down on the pants, then wrapped his fingers in his light cotton boxers, “I need your cock, Ukai-san.”  
Ittetsu pulled down the boxers as he said this, and the second his mouth finished forming the last syllable, it wrapped around Ukai’s now-hard dick.

“Takeda,” Ukai repeated, his voice deep and serious. A warning.  
Ittetsu didn’t care, he was going to have as much of Ukai as he could get. It was all he wanted. It was all he could think about. He wanted him so bad he didn’t care about anything else, and, all things considered, tequila was a bad choice.  
“Mmmff,” he mumbled, to say, _excuse me, I can’t talk right now, I have a dick in my mouth, I’m sorry._ He hoped Ukai got the message.

“Takeda, stop.” This time Ukai’s voice was harsh. This time there would be no objections.  
He laced a hand into Ittetsu’s short, curly hair and shoved him back, off of his dick. Even as he did, the teacher struggled against his hand, even reaching out his tongue in one last ditch attempt to continue. 

His tongue made contact for a half second before Ukai pushed his head back sharply.  
“Takeda what the fuck?” He burst, as Ittetsu fell back onto the mattress, rocking into a little bounce.  
His voice was sharp, loud, angry. A shiver rushed through Ittetsu’s body.

Ukai stared down at him, mouth open with words he clearly could not speak. He pulled his pants back over himself, turning away and starting to pace.  
“What the fuck,” he repeated, this time more quietly, more to himself. His eyes were growing wide, and he pushed a hand through his hair, drawing it away from his face. 

Ittetsu propped himself up on his elbows, wide eyes following Ukai as he paced around the room. He looked, he looked concerned. He looked scared. That wasn’t how Ukai was supposed to look. Ukai was supposed to look confident, happy, unconcerned. Ukai was supposed to smirk, like he always did, he was supposed to know what to say. The person in front of Ittetsu didn’t look like the person he knew.

“Ukai, I-” the words drew Ukai’s eyes back to him, and once they did Ittetsu realised he had no idea what he’d been planning to say.

“Takeda,” he said the name almost as if he’d forgotten Ittetsu was there, but his gaze focused on his face, “Takeda, you can’t do that. You really can’t do that.”

Ittetsu’s heart was pounding hard. His eyes were locked in Ukai’s and he felt like he would choke on the emotion he saw in them. What had he done? What the fuck had he done?

A wave of guilt crested and broke over him. He’d forced himself on Ukai. He’d- Ukai had said no, and Ittetsu had ignored him. That was the exact thing Ukai would never do to Ittetsu. That was the exact reason Ittetsu trusted him. He’d broken the coach’s trust, and he couldn’t even feel indignant. There was no part of him that could begin to argue with Ukai’s feelings. There was no part of him that could claim he didn’t deserve every ounce of disgust, disappointment, and anger in that look.

“You need to leave,” Ukai said with a deep, heavy sigh. He stepped to the side, out of the way of the door, to give Ittetsu more than enough room to get out without touching him. He was scared Ittetsu would try to touch him, “Please get out.”

“I-” Ittetsu started as he rose to his feet, the alcohol and sleep draining from his system every second, leaving him more and more aware of what he’d done, “I’m so sor-”  
Ukai cut him off with a curt shake of his head. He didn’t want to hear his voice. Ittetsu’s stomach twisted with guilt. He was a horrible person. What had he done?

* * *

Keishin let out a slow breath when Ittetsu finally closed the door behind him. Feeling confused, and frustrated, and still a little tipsy from all the beer he’d been drinking. He let himself collapse to his bed. His dick was still thrumming with arousal, but he didn’t want to touch it. It felt wrong. It felt gross. 

A few days ago, he would have wanted to fuck Takeda on every surface in this building over the course of the week, but a lot had changed since then. In the last few days he’d realised... well, a lot. He’d realised how much space Takeda took up in his head. He’d realised, just yesterday, when he walked into that hotel bar and saw that woman sitting with a martini in her hand, that he didn’t want to fuck anyone else. He’d realised when he saw Takeda the next day that he had… feelings.

He’d realised in the course of all this that he had to stop sleeping with him. At least until he could sort out what he was feeling. At least until he knew what he wanted to do. He hadn’t felt this way in a long time. In years. He needed time to think.

Sure, before tonight, he’d thought maybe they could still do it once or twice, it’s sometimes less productive to try and quit things cold turkey, but it was now evident that was not an option. When Takeda looked at him, so many things twisted in his gut at once, so many feelings he didn’t think he was the kind of person to deal with, that it overshadowed any kind of excitement that came from sex.

Fuck. 

Why did people act like falling in love was so much fun?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to write healthy relationships and DEFINITELY don't want to glamourize sexual assault, but I think this scene is important in Ittetsu's story, and I really hope I didn't handle it poorly or anything. 
> 
> Also I will be back to my normal upload schedule, I might do another ten episodes and then another break, sort of like seasons.


	12. An End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if anyone skipped last chapter, but if you did, here's what you missed:
> 
> Takeda and Ukai go to training camp, but for some reason they don't seem to be having sex like Takeda expected. He keeps flirting with the coach, but Ukai doesn't seem to be reciprocating, he doesn't know how to, now that he's starting to realise his feelings. 
> 
> In the end Takeda ends up sneaking into his room, and while Ukai is able to stop him before anything too big happens, he feels like he's completely betrayed Ukai's trust.

Ittetsu paced just beside the door of his room, waiting for the sound of Ukai’s door opening. What was he going to say? Sorry? Was that enough? He’d barely gotten any sleep since the moment he’d returned to his bed, the drunkenness, the tiredness, and the horniness all completely sucked from his system and replaced with panic and guilt. 

“Ukai-san, no, Ukai… kun? No Ukai-san, definitely Ukai-san,” he mumbled to himself, feeling how the words felt in his mouth, “last night… last night I-'' his brain was faltering, how do you apologize for something like that? How do you... get over that? 

The door in the hall clicked before Ittetsu could decide on the answer and he stepped out of his own room, finding himself staring wildly at Ukai, mind so blank it was like he had been given a factory fresh one.  
“Ah- Ukai-kun,” shit, that was the wrong one, the coach stared at him blankly, definitely not the confident smile he wore when he flirted, but also not the shocked, disgusted glare from last night, “About, um, last night,” he paused, half expecting Ukai to interrupt him, but he didn’t, “I’m really, really sorry, Ukai-san, I really-”  
Now Ukai interrupted him, not with a response, just with a short nod, before he turned away, walking in the direction of the cafeteria, for breakfast.

A nod. What did that mean? Did it mean he forgave him? Did it mean he understood? Did it just mean he wanted him to stop talking?  
“Um, so, are we-” Ittetsu began, catching up to Ukai so he could walk in pace with him. _Are we okay_ was the full question, but he never finished it.  
“We should stop,” Ukai announced, voice calm.  
“Huh?” Ittetsu blinked over at him.  
“I think we should stop having sex,” Ukai specified, expression so neutral you would think he was taking an ID picture, “It was fun, but I think it sort of got out of hand.”

Ittetsu burned red. It got out of hand, he was talking about last night, wasn’t he? He was talking about the fact that Ittetsu now evidently couldn’t go 48 hours without his dick. That he now thought he was entitled to it. That he would… touch him, without asking. Touch him when he said no. God, Ittetsu really was just a horrible person.

“Mmm,” Ittetsu hummed, trying to keep the near-crippling disappointment out of his voice.  
He couldn’t really argue, could he? When he’d done something so stupid. So wrong.

They walked the rest of the way to the cafeteria in a silence so awkward it was painful. Ittetsu looked up at Ukai every few seconds, only to see the same, neutral expression, trained forward down the hall. It was over. Ittetsu’s first ever fling, the best sex he’d had in his life, his _thing_ with Ukai Keishin was done. What was he going to do now?

It was a surprisingly loaded question. What would he do now? The truth was, though, there had been a lot of things he needed to worry about. A lot of things had changed since the first time he slept with Ukai, he just hadn’t been worrying about them. He’d been ignoring all his problems, ignoring all the new revelations he now had to figure out, because he had been too busy getting pounded. 

He was gay. It had been two weeks since he’d realised this, but he hadn’t really had the time to unpack it. It meant he wasn’t going to be with a woman again. It meant the future wife, potentially the future kids, the future life he’d planned on having was impossible. It meant he wouldn’t be able to introduce his future partner to his parents, or, if he wanted to he’d have to tell them he was gay, he’d have to see the looks on their faces when he did. And of course he came from an insanely traditional family, of course he came from one of the very few Christian families in Japan.

There was a reason he didn’t want to think of these things, but it was easier when he had something else to think about. It was easier to forget about the future, about family, when he was having sex.

When they arrived in the cafeteria, they joined the table with the other adults.  
“Mornin’ Takeda-san,” Naoi Manabu, the young Nekoma coach grinned, “Did you have to drag Keishin’s hungover ass out of bed this morning?”  
Ukai snorted a laugh, “Other way around, Naoi-kun, Take-chan had some drinks of his own last night.”  
He slapped Ittetsu on the back as he said this, his smile bright as usual. Back to normal, as if Ittetsu had woken up from a bad dream. Like nothing had changed. Like Ittetsu hadn’t fucked everything up.

“Ah, then you should have joined us,” Naoi grinned, “We were reminiscing about high school. I’m sure you’d love to hear the dirt I have on your coach.”  
Ukai took his seat, shaking his head, but grinning, “Oh those stories are dying with you, Naoi-kun. Remember, I have just as much on you.”

* * *

Keishin was glad when he finished his breakfast, because when he got up and started to make his way to the gym, he could finally put some distance between him and Takeda. It was suffocating, being near him, with everything going through his head. With everything that had happened last night. Ukai felt close to choking when he heard the teacher’s voice, he felt his heart collapse in on itself when he watched Takeda smile, and he felt so much relief when Takeda disappeared from his field of view.

It was all just too complicated.

Apparently, though, he was fated to keep thinking about it. He was not fated for a break. The second Takeda was out of earshot, Naoi decided it was the perfect time to discuss the teacher.  
“So, _Take-chan_ , eh?”  
Keishin raised an eyebrow, hoping that was the most he had to indulge his old friend.  
“I send you to your room late last night with a couple drinks in your system and you come back in the morning with a pretty boy glued to your hip, that can’t seem to look you in the eye… I feel like we’ve done this before.”  
“We didn’t have sex,” Keishin barked, a little more agitated than he wanted to appear.  
Naoi just made a face, “Really? You guys-”  
“We didn’t,” Keishin insisted, “and we’re not going to.”  
“Huh,” Naoi remarked, and Keishin felt an anger boil in his gut at the little surprised face, “Why not? He’s cute, isn’t he? I thought he’d be your type.”

Something about it didn’t sit right with Keishin. It made it sound like he would fuck anything that moved, anyone that was _his type_. Like he had no say in the matter, like his dick did his thinking for him. That seemed to be a common assumption recently. 

The worst part was, he would normally be right. The worst part was Keishin _wished_ he was right. Wished he could just fuck Takeda, like normal. He wished he could fuck whoever he wanted, think with his dick like he always had. He wished he could have accepted that stupid fucking blowjob last night. He wished he could just be normal. Feelings fucked him up, though. They always did, the few times he’d had them.

“Is he straight or something?” Naoi continued, still at a loss for why Keishin wouldn’t have slept with him.  
The Karasuno coach shook his head.  
“Hmm,” Naoi considered for a second, before a small smile tugged at his face, “Then should I take a crack at it?”

It was, arguably, the worst thing Keishin had ever heard someone say. The worst sentence he had ever heard uddered. Partly because _take a crack at it_? In reference to sex? That was horrendous. But definitely most of the absolute horror the phrase inspired was from its actual meaning. The idea that Naoi Manabu would actually try to fuck Takeda Ittetsu.

Ukai probably should have thought of it earlier. He knew he wasn’t the only man who found Takeda attractive, he’d known that from the start. It wasn’t like he the only man who wanted him, he’d seen eyes following him, he’d seen people trying to approach. He was the only man who was actually doing it though. The only man that was actually fucking him. That simple fact had been enough to make him forget any sort of jealousy, and any sort of competition. 

He had a deep confidence in his cock, to be honest. He’d always kind of figured he could fuck Takeda well enough that it wouldn’t matter who else wanted to. Takeda wouldn’t need anyone else, as long as he had Keishin.

Now, though, he didn’t have Keishin. And it wasn’t like before, when the two of them had first met. Takeda wasn’t a shy, innocent little man anymore. He wasn’t the guy that was going to wait patiently for Keishin to figure out his issues. Keishin had acted out his whole stupid fantasy of getting Takeda addicted to dick and it had worked. Well. 

Keishin’s heart thumped as he looked at Naoi. Fuck. This guy was, objectively, not that bad looking. Obviously nothing compared to himself, but Takeda was horny. Takeda was horny, and Keishin wasn’t going to fuck him, he couldn’t right now, but this guy could and this guy wanted to. 

“I mean, I won’t if you-”  
“Nah,” Keishin interrupted him far too quickly for someone who’s response was a lie, “Nah, it’s good, go ahead.”

It was so stupid. He was so stupid. He could have just said, don’t sleep with him. Naoi would have agreed. He could just say, you know what, I’d prefer if you didn’t. Even just saying nothing, even just letting Naoi finish his sentence, would have been better, but Keishin couldn’t do it. Something about the idea that someone might know, that someone might figure out what he was feeling, was terrifying to him.

Maybe it was because he wasn’t quite ready to figure it all out himself.

* * *

Ittetsu was staring down at his food, just as he had been for about five minutes prior. All day his mind had been a mush of panic and guilt and regret and confusion. He’d opted to eat his dinner outside, in the grass, because he absolutely could not spend that much time around Ukai right now. Honestly he would rather not spend time around anyone. His head was spinning.

“Hey Takeda-san, eating dinner alone?”  
It was Naoi, that coach that was friends with Ukai.  
“Ah,” Ittetsu fixed his glasses, which had started to slide down his nose in his trance, “It’s such a nice day, I thought I’d enjoy the sun a little more.”  
Naoi smiled, settling down in the grass beside him, much to Ittetsu’s disappointment.  
“You know what?” he started, voice thick with a cheerfulness that seemed genuine, “I think you’re right.”

Ittetsu adjusted his chopsticks, he would have to at least pretend to eat with the coach right there. He didn’t know what to say, how to hold a conversation, but luckily Naoi seemed more than happy to fill the gaps.

“I still can’t believe you got Keishin to coach,” he laughed, Ittetsu thought he’d heard him say this before, “He used to make fun of me for wanting to do this. He used to tell me I was admitting I didn’t see my life going anywhere.”  
Ittetsu paused, looking up at him, wondering if that was still Ukai’s perspective. If he thought his life wasn’t going anywhere.  
“He seems to love it now, though,” Naoi corrected, likely seeing the guilt on the teacher’s face, “I bet he’s thankful.”

There was a considerable pause.

“I’ve known Keishin for a long time, though,” Naoi continued, picking up the conversation just moments before it fell past the point of no return, “Did he ever tell you the kinds of things he used to get up to on trips like this? I was always jealous, but I wasn’t out until university.”

Ittetsu turned his head, instinctively. A man mentioning his sexuality in casual conversation, especially when it’s not exactly necessary to include. That was one of the things Ukai had told Ittetsu was a form of flirting, way back around when they’d first met.

“How about you,” Naoi met his eyes, “When did you come out?”  
There it was. The classic _wishful thinking_ from one of the first real conversations Ittetsu had with Ukai Keishin. A man assuming Takeda was gay. Naoi was flirting. He was flirting with Ittetsu.

Unlike the first time he heard the _wishful thinking_ argument, unlike when he’d realised it applied to Ukai, Ittetsu couldn’t respond how he always used to. He could no longer snap up in shock and preen, “What do you mean? I’m not gay!”

This time he had to answer.

“Well,” Ittetsu began, and once he did the words started tumbling out, “I guess I’m not really _out_ yet. The only people that know, really, are, um,” _Ukai Keishin_ , “The people I’ve been with.”

Holy shit, he had to answer, he didn’t have to answer that honestly. He didn’t have to unpack his entire life story on Naoi’s poor, unsuspecting ears. 

“Ah,” Naoi didn’t seem put off, though, he seemed... “Well now I know, and you haven’t been with me,” Oh, Ittetsu had certainly stumbled face-first into that one, “How do you suppose we balance that out?”

Ittetsu hated to admit it, he was supposed to feel guilty, he was supposed to be mourning the loss of the first fling he’d ever had, the one he’d crushed to the ground, he wasn’t supposed to be feeling horny, but being flirted with that openly by a man other than Ukai... he was feeling desperately horny. 

A blush starting to spread over his cheeks, Ittetsu looked back down at his food.  
“Well, yes, I suppose we might have to amend that.”  
Naoi tilted his head back in a booming laugh, “You’re a literature teacher, aren’t you Takeda-sensei?”  
A half smile tugged at his lips, “Yes, how’d you guess.”

Naoi grinned, his face moving forward, close to Ittetsu’s. It was almost as if he planned to kiss him.

Ittetsu’s head swiveled, taking in the schoolyard around them. A couple students, the ones who had scarfed down dinner in order to get back to the courts, were already emerging from the cafeteria, making their way down the sunny hills, towards the gymnasium.

“There are people around,” Ittetsu warned.  
“If there weren’t,” Naoi asked calmly, “would you let me kiss you?”  
Ittetsu’s slight blush burnt away into a much larger one. Hypotheticals were so hard. He thought the answer was probably yes, he would be more confident in his answer if they could test it.

“Coach!” The voice came from a second year on Nekoma, the one that Ittetsu sometimes confused for Tanaka in a horrible wig, “Can you help me with my serve?”  
Naoi flipped his head in the direction of the student, “Of course Yamamoto, just give me a second to finish my dinner.”

When his face was aimed at Ittetsu again, his expression was apologetic, “I guess we can’t have a nice dinner together,” he said it like they were a married couple on their anniversary, before starting to pop the most important couple bites of the meal in front of him into his mouth.

“I hope I can see you more, later,” The coach added, somehow understandably, even through a mouthful of food, as he rose to his feet.

Ittetsu’s eyes followed him, unconsciously, all the way to the cafeteria, where he would return his dishes. What had he just done? What had he just agreed to? What was he going to do later?

* * *

Ittetsu's eyes darted around his room for the seventy ninth time since he’d gotten back to it. The condoms and lube were in a drawer in the bedside table. That was the right place for them, wasn’t it? He couldn’t just have them out, Naoi would think he was some kind of sex-crazed lunatic. The guy… The guy who was coming over to fuck him was going to think he was, horny.

Ok, maybe it didn’t make sense, but it was already past ten o'clock, when the coach said he was going to come by. It was too close to the buzzer for Ittetsu to consider moving them again. He slid his door open just a crack, checking again to see that Ukai wasn’t back. He didn’t think he could handle it, thinking Ukai could hear him in here. Maybe that meant he shouldn’t do it, because Ukai was going to find out one way or another. They were staying in rooms right next to each other. The other coach was Ukai’s close friend. Ittetsu was really bad at lying. There was no way Ukai wasn’t going to know within twelve hours.

Again Ittetsu told himself it was too late. Really he was just too excited. Too ready to feel himself get pushed hard into a mattress. Really he could imagine what Naoi’s kiss would feel like, his touch, too. Really he was just so, insufferably horny, and really he just couldn’t stand the idea of saying no to some good dick. It was Ukai’s fault, at the end of the day. He was the one who wouldn’t fuck Ittetsu.

The voice came before the knock, “Excuse me, Take-chan.”  
Ittetsu opened the door. Naoi had a bottle of Sake laced through his fingers, and two small glasses in the same hand. God, he had big hands. God, Ittetsu wanted to see him use those.


	13. Other People

Naoi used his hands. It maybe wasn’t his strongest skill, he didn’t have the same control over them that Ukai did, but they were big, and they were the first thing that had been inside Ittetsu in nearly three days. The first thing ever to be inside him that wasn’t either his, or Ukai’s. The first time he was touched like this by someone else.

“Mmmph,” Ittetsu moaned, as Naoi leaned in close to suck on his chest as his fingers worked inside him.   
It was, different, somehow, than being fucked by Ukai. Maybe more gentle, more tender. A little more boring, he supposed, if he was focusing on the negatives, but he shouldn’t compare anyways. Ukai wasn’t going to be fucking him anymore. It didn’t matter whether he wanted it or not.

“Your body’s so sensitive.”  
Ittetsu had heard that line before, or rather, seen it, in a BL manga someone had left in their desk one spring, after the school year had ended. One that he’d promptly taken to the lost and found after he realised what it was, though he had flipped through a couple pages just to make sure really understood the contents. He hadn’t seen a comic like that in years.

“It’s-” Takeda huffed, moving his hips to try and urge Naoi’s fingers into a faster rhythm, “It feels good. You make me feel good, Naoi-san.”  
The coach huffed a laugh in surprise.  
“Wow, Take-chan, you make it sound so _dirty_.”  
Ittetsu laughed a little at this, too. He wondered what Naoi would say if Ittetsu told him how recently he’d started learning how to talk like this. How recently it had been, the first time he felt something up his ass.

“You’re really turning me on, Take-chan,” Naoi breathed again, “God, I really want to fuck you.”  
It wasn’t amazing, B+ dirty talk, maybe A-. It was enough to make Ittetsu want it though. Enough to make him let out another little moan. Maybe that said more about Takeda than it did about Naoi.  
“If I’m turning you on so much,” Ittetsu let his eyes flutter open, looking at Naoi with the flicker of challenge in his eyes, “Then do it. Show me how much you want me.”

It was a little out of his comfort zone, honestly, taking the lead, but he needed Naoi to be a little harsher, a little braver. He couldn’t just sit back and let him hesitate.  
“Fuck,” Naoi cursed, pressing a hot kiss on Ittetsu’s lips before pulling his fingers from his ass.  
He moved quickly, stripping himself and grabbing a condom from the box in the drawer. He’d seen them there when Ittetsu had shown him the lube. Ittetsu gently stroked himself as he watched Naoi get organised, just enough stimulation to keep him from losing his erection.

When Naoi returned, he retook his position between Ittetsu’s legs, this time making extra sure one leg was on either side of him.  
“Ok,” he explained, as he lined himself up with Takeda’s entrance, “Are you ready?”  
Takeda nodded, his smile starting to spread in spite of himself. Naoi may be a little more awkward than Ukai, or just, a little more direct, and a little more gentle, but his dick was just as big, and Ittetsu was excited just to get filled like that again.

“Ah,” the sound came out like a sort of, quick, hitched breath as Naoi first pushed in. It stretched him just a little, just enough that it would likely ache a little the next morning at breakfast. He wondered if Ukai would notice if he sat down a little slower. He’d commented on that in the past.

“Oh my god,” Naoi said it so genuinely Ittetsu felt almost flattered, “You fit me like a fucking glove, Takeda.”  
It almost made the teacher laugh. There was one reason for that and one reason only. His dick was nearly the same size as Ukai’s, and Ittetsu’s ass was perfectly stretched around that one.

He was the only man who’d ever fucked Ittetsu like this. Now there was another. He let his eyes close and he rested his head back on the bed, pushing his back into an arch with his shoulders, tilting the angle of contact between him and Naoi so that it pressed against all the right places. There was another man inside of him. He was fucking someone else.

Naoi made only unintelligible grunts as he thrust into Ittetsu, his weak ability for dirty talk clearly lost the minute he became distracted. Ittetsu didn’t mind. The less he talked the more Ittetsu could fill the silence with his own fantasies. The more he could picture what he wanted him to say, more accurately what he wanted Ukai to say.

“Yes, right there,” he chirped his approval, after Naoi pulled him especially deep onto his dick.  
“Yeah?” That was the most the coach was capable of saying, but he followed Ittetsu’s direction, repeating the same action as they continued.  
“Oh, Naoi, it’s so good,” he praised, feeling the heat beginning to rise in his body, feeling his insides start to twitch.

Of course, it was then that he heard a door bang closed in the hall. It sounded like it came from the room next door. From Ukai’s room.  
“Ah!” the sound came out loud, but Ittetsu told himself he couldn’t help it. He told himself it was his body’s natural response. He told himself he didn’t want Ukai hearing, he didn’t want Ukai to know.  
“Oh, oh my god, oh fuck,” the moans just continued, it felt good to call out like that, with Naoi’s cock inside him. He told himself it wasn’t about Ukai, but he couldn’t stop picturing him sitting in his room, right beside him. He couldn’t stop making noises he knew he could hear. He told himself it was just an inconvenience. He told himself that wasn’t why he was about to cum.

Naoi came almost the same moment Ittetsu did, their convulsions echoing off of each other, and their moans harmonizing in an awkward arrangement. Certainly, if Ukai really was in his room, he could hear that.

* * *

Keishin _was_ in his room, and he _could_ hear that. In fact, from the time he turned down the hallway on his way back from yelling at the teenagers to “go the fuck to sleep”, he knew what was happening in the room next to his. Naoi had bragged a little after dinner, and Keishin had heard the kind of ragged breathing of a desperately aroused Takeda enough times to recognize it from a mile away. 

He settled himself on his bed anyways, the suddenly louder eruption of sounds in Takeda’s room making him unable to focus on really anything else. Maybe it was just because he was getting close, but the teacher seemed especially loud today. Keishin was pretty sure he’d never heard an “ah” like that before. 

It meant either Naoi was doing a better job than Keishin had ever done, or Takeda had some other reason to be loud. Maybe he had to compensate for something, or maybe he was ok with being heard. It may come across as narcissistic, as many things Keishin thought often did, but he couldn’t really bring himself to believe Naoi was doing a better job than him. He thought the other options seemed more likely.

It would be a bald-faced lie to say he wasn’t angry, to say he wasn’t insufferably jealous. It hurt to see how much of his little fantasies that Ittetsu might have feelings, might care if he stopped fucking him, that he might, I don’t know, wait a full 24 hours before finding someone else to do it, were all just that. Fantasies. 

Takeda understood his own feelings better than Keishin did, he could control them better. He could understand that what they were doing was just sex, he could keep it at that. That’s why he could be in his room tonight, about as soon after their arrangement fell apart as humanly possible, moaning over someone else. Keishin wouldn’t be able to do that for a while. 

For now, Keishin was sitting on his bed, just listening to Takeda, wishing he wasn’t falling in love with him, and for some reason that felt like where he should be. Where he deserved to be. It suited the mood, I guess. Like when you listen to Mitski in the shower late at night when you’re already depressed. It was so perfectly awful it almost made Keishin feel better. Maybe he would bust out some Mitski later tonight, too.

The sounds from Takeda’s room subsided into murmured conversations for a while after the first, big, whatever, but after a couple minutes passed he and Naoi started to get busy again. It could be heard in their breath, in the squeak of the bed, and mostly in Takeda’s voice, that reverberated through the walls like that was what it was meant to do. 

“That’s the man I love,” Keishin muttered quietly, after the 15th, _“yes”_ , making himself chuckle a little. It was maybe an exaggeration, to say it that way, to make it seem so romantic, like they were soulmates or something stupid. An exaggeration for comedic effect, but it was true that Keishin loved him.

It wasn’t something that he did well with, love. Keishin had been around long enough that he’d certainly felt it before, enough times to know how poorly he did with it. He had a tendency, since the first time he’d fallen in love, just before graduating high school, with his girlfriend at the time, to fall deeply, completely, and then be completely unable to feel those things for at least a year or two after.

It had been more than three years, actually, this time, but apparently he had gotten over the man who’d somehow made commit for almost an entire year back when he was fresh out of university with a useless degree that made him one step closer to _still fucking working at his mom’s convenience store until he died_. 

Apparently his heart had recovered from that fucking mess. Apparently Takeda was the next unwitting victim, and Keishin had been through this enough times now to know that’s exactly what it was, and he wasn’t stupid enough to continue pretending it might be something else. 

Now his only choice was to get used to saying it, get used to feeling it, and figure out how exactly to get back to a point where he was the one making Takeda annoy the neighbours like that. How to do that without knowingly throwing himself headfirst into heartbreak, that is.

* * *

The first time Ittetsu made eye contact with Ukai the next morning, he felt a bit of colour rush to his cheeks. He had a feeling Ukai heard as much as he’d worried, maybe hoped. There was also the added tension brought on by the way Naoi looked at him now, like there was nothing left off limits, like he was an object to consume.

He couldn’t pretend it didn’t turn him on a little, the toxicity of everything, the messages hidden in the glances he was receiving from handsome men. The hidden messages that meant, _I know what you look like naked_ , and _I know what you sound like when you cum_. Ittetsu couldn’t help it. Ukai had once told him he had a tendency to enjoy twisted things, and it was becoming harder for the teacher to argue. He kept craving things he knew were abhorrently wrong.

“Let me get your breakfast for you, Take-chan,” Naoi offered, rising from his seat before waiting for an answer from Ittetsu. The nickname was weird, at a table full of their peers, at a table where Ukai was sitting. The nickname that Ukai had made Ittetsu start enjoying again.

He missed his chance to argue though, lost for a second in the look Ukai was giving his miso soup. By the time he thought to respond Naoi was already far enough from the table he would have to raise his voice. He would have to just draw more attention to the strangeness. He slowly lowered himself onto the hard bench of the school lunch tables, confirming what many of the coaches and sponsors had probably started to suspect about why Naoi was so eager to get his food for him.

“Pleasant sleep?” Ukai asked, observing Ittetsu out the very sides of his eyes as he took his spot next to him.  
It almost seemed like a joke, given the context, even though it was delivered like a serious question.   
“Um, yeah,” Ittetsu tried to deliver his answer as inconspicuously, “you?”  
Ukai gave him a look, like there was something that he couldn’t quite bring himself to say aloud. There was, in fact, it was a joke about his neighbours being too loud for him to fall asleep. It would probably be funny, but he couldn’t quite get his mouth around the words. Instead he just nodded. A lie of a nod.

Naoi returned with a tray of breakfast, a coffee on the side.   
“Thank you, Naoi-kun,” Ittetsu smiled. There was no point in making it any more awkward than it already was. He was sure the whole table had figured out that they had slept together, Naoi had a clear skip in his step.   
“Of course, any time.”

This was probably his punishment for fucking Naoi so immediately after ending things with Ukai. All this awkwardness, this embarrassment, was retribution for being such a slut. It wasn’t a very effective punishment, though, because as he’d learned not that long ago, Ittetsu got off on embarrassment.

* * *

Nekoma and Karasuno were wrapped in a practice match, and it was a lot closer than it had been in their matches over the first two days, so Takeda’s eye was locked on the fast-moving ball when Naoi leaned over his shoulder.  
“I keep thinking about last night.”  
It nearly made Takeda jump. He wasn’t as natural with it as Ukai often was, but that was starting to become a trend.

“Oh,” Takeda mentioned, trying to divide his attention between the game and the coach behind him, “Is that true?”  
“It is,” Naoi hummed, a hand floating around, tracing up from Takeda’s hip to his waist.

Now this was something new. More publicly flirty than anything Ukai had done to him. The gym was so full of noise and movement he doubted the little gesture would draw anyone’s eye, but if anyone did happen to look, it would be pretty clear what kind of relationship he and Naoi had. It would be clear the coach was comfortable touching him. Takeda couldn’t bring himself to dislike it though, and he found himself leaning into the touch.

Realising the split attention wasn’t going to work, Ittetsu decided to just choose one to focus on, and Naoi was the one he chose.  
“Well what should we do about that?” he murmured, turning his head into his shoulder, meeting Naoi’s gaze, “We can’t have you distracted while you’re working.”  
Again, Naoi laughed and broke his gaze, “Jesus Takeda, who taught you to talk like that?”  
Ittetsu was glad the question was rhetorical.  
“You want to step out now?” Ittetsu whispered, “I’m sure we can have you back in time to debrief them after the match.”  
Naoi bit on his smile, eyes scanning the room, “Eh, even if we can’t, they’ve got Nekomata.”

As Ittetsu scurried out of the gym, about a foot behind Naoi, he accidentally locked eyes with Ukai for half a second. It was strange, these were the sorts of things he was planning to do with the coach of his team. Now he was exchanging awkward looks with him as he snuck off to do the same exact things with the coach of Nekoma’s. 

He didn’t let himself feel too guilty. Ukai didn’t want him any more, apparently, and he had packed 36 condoms. Finding someone else to do those things with was the logical move.

Ukai probably didn’t even care. I mean, it might be awkward, but if he still wanted Ittetsu he would still be having Ittetsu. It was his choice for them to stop sleeping together. It was because of him Ittetsu even needed to find someone else. Because of him he needed Naoi.

He repeated this to himself as he braced his arms against the wall, huffing hot breath over them as Naoi knelt behind him, opening his ass with his tongue. It was Ukai’s fault he was doing this, he didn’t choose it for himself. He shouldn’t feel guilty he had to stop himself from calling out the wrong name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D


	14. Destinations

All things considered, the training camp with Nekoma was surprisingly similar to the fantasies Ittetsu had imagined for it. The one key difference being which coach was spending the nights between his legs. That difference was apparent during the long bus ride back to their sleepy northern town, in the way that Ittetsu still sucked air through his teeth with every pothole the bus rolled over, but Ukai was not watching him, smiling, teasing, like he should be. 

They still had to sit next to each other, the bus could only just accommodate their team, and none of the students wanted to sit next to their teacher when they could be playing chopsticks with their bestfriend, or sleeping with their head on their crush’s shoulder. 

Ukai was still giving off strange energy, though. The same strange energy he’d been giving off since before they even left on this trip. He was getting better at covering it, at faking regular conversation, but Ittetsu could tell nothing had really changed. He could tell whatever was causing the tension between them hadn’t been resolved.

“So,” Ukai started, in his newly trained approximation of the way he used to tease Ittetsu, “You got pretty close with Naoi-kun, eh? What are you going to do without him?”  
There was certainly an edge to the words, but buried under the facade of casual teasing it was hard to determine exactly what that edge was. Ittetsu thought he could detect a hint of bitterness though, as if Ukai resented the fact that he’d slept with Naoi. As if Ukai was jealous. As if Ukai hadn’t been the one to end things.

“I’ll manage,” Ittetsu answered, the words coming across more petty than he thought he could pull off.  
Ukai laughed, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Something was so seriously off with him, and Ittetsu wanted so badly to know what it was. Maybe he could just ask, but he’d tried that a week ago, Ukai didn’t want to talk.

“I mean,” Ittetsu was continuing before he even knew what he was planning to say, but something in the coach’s eye drew it out of him, “Naoi’s nice, but…”  
He hoped Ukai could hear the words dangling between them as well as he could.  
_“But he’s nothing like you.”_

Their eyes were locked together for a moment, their expressions serious. Ittetsu could already feel his heart starting to race. He searched for the answer in Ukai’s gaze. The answer as to why things had changed so suddenly, why his smiles were no longer genuine, why they couldn’t just have sex for fuck’s sake.

“Well, I’m sure he’ll be missing you, at the very least,” the coach turned his head as he said this, his gaze settling on something out of the window.  
Ittetsu’s heart pounded again. Was he reading into it or did that mean something? Was he reading into it or did Ukai’s tone sound... melancholy? It must mean something, right? So what did it mean?

* * *

The week away at training camp had very decidedly _not_ gone according to plan from Keishin. Not only in the fact that he was not having sex with Takeda, not only in the fact that someone else was, but also in the fact that somehow none of that was helping.

His feelings, the romantic ones, had grown out of sexual attraction. He’d started noticing his heart aching, or his stomach doing flips, mainly when some part of his body was in some part of Takeda’s. He’d thought, maybe hoped, the romantic feelings would die down if the sexual ones did, too. He’d thought if he could deprive his dick for long enough, his heart would give up with it. So far, that hadn’t worked in the slightest.

Over the course of the week, even trying to avoid it, he spent a lot of time with and around Take-chan. Over the course of the week, he’d started to notice things about the teacher he’d never noticed before. Funny things, cute things, impressive things. Things, non-sexual things, that made his heart beat.

The first was the way he chewed at the end of his pen. Keishin had been aware of the bad habit before, but he’d never really paid it any mind, opting instead to memorize Takeda’s habit of biting his lip when he fingered himself, or his habit of digging his fingernails deep into Keishin’s flesh when he climbed toward orgasm. With those sorts of things out of his mind, though, Keishin was free to notice the way Takeda rolled the pen along his teeth, never biting it very hard, but slowly wearing down on the plastic.

He also noticed the way Takeda’s laugh turned sort of tinny when he tried to hold it back, the way his eyes shone with warmth and caring when he spoke to a student, the way his shoulders squared in respect when he spoke to Nekomata. Keishin noticed his heart starting to wrench at every little thing he noticed just as much as it had when Takeda used to whisper things in his ear.

His plan had essentially back fired. The lack of sex wasn’t helping him at all.

Not that he really could have fucked Takeda anyways. He was normally endlessly confident, but feelings, romance, those weren’t things he really knew how to do. Not the way he knew how to do casual, and Keishin had never enjoyed doing things unless he could do them well.

Now, Takeda was sitting next to him, talking casually about how little Naoi meant to him. How little a week of sex mattered to him.

Keishin didn’t mean to say Naoi would miss him, or rather, he did mean to say it, he meant to say it as a joke. He didn’t mean to make it sound so sad, he didn’t mean to make it seem like he meant something else. It just came out that way. His eyes just slipped away from Takeda’s eyes, they just happened to land on a cloud on the horizon. He just couldn’t bring them back. He just couldn’t put his smile back on.

He felt for Naoi. Not that he necessarily deserved anything better, but he was sure it would still be a little painful. He was pretty sure Naoi was going to be hung up on Takeda for longer than Takeda would be hung up on him. He was pretty sure Takeda wouldn’t be hung up on him at all.

After a second Takeda made a sound. A quiet, “hmm.”  
Keishin looked back at him, but he didn’t have anything to say.

This time the silence really settled, and it wasn’t lifted for about another half an hour.  
“Um, Ukai-san, can I ask you something?”  
When Keishin looked at him, the teacher looked nervous. It made his heart do something weird.  
It took him a second to realise the question wasn’t rhetorical. He really wanted an answer.

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure go ahead,” the words sort of tumbled out of his mouth.

“Are you…” Takeda’s brow was slightly furrowed, his hands were fiddling with themselves, he seemed hesitant, “Are you mad? Like, uh, about my…” he looked up, wide eyed, looking for support, “my, uh, relationship, er,” he looked uncomfortable at the word choice, but he seemed to decide it was the best he could come up with, “with Naoi.”

Keishin pressed his lips tight. It was when he was like this that Keishin could understand why people saw Ittetsu as innocent. He could understand why he sometimes made that mistake himself.

“I’m not mad,” his voice was low, aware that there were students all around them, even if he normally couldn’t pay those teenagers to pay attention to what he was talking about, “I’m not-”

He didn’t know what he was. He was in love with Takeda. He was selfish and bitter and weird. He was jealous of Naoi and he was sympathetic of Naoi and he didn’t want to hear Naoi’s name ever again. It was stupid. It was the kind of stupid feeling Ukai recognized in himself from the last time he’d felt this. 

“I’m not mad, it’s just, it’s weird,” he looked at Takeda, making sure he understood what he meant, “You know it’s weird, right?”  
Takeda huffed a little laugh, “Yeah, of course I know it’s weird,” his smile was genuine, but weighed down by concern, “I just- I guess I don’t know why…”  
Keishin moved his gaze back to the window.  
“Eh, we were having sex, now we’re not, that’s always weird.”

Takeda’s eyes went wide as he said that, and Keishin remembered they were on a bus with their students, but after a second, with no change in the tired chatter and light snoring that surrounded them, he let out a relieved breath. No one heard.

When that was established, Takeda’s blush still developed slowly, and he turned his head back to the front of the bus.  
“I guess I’ve never had to deal with that before,” for a moment he paused, gathering confidence, “Can I ask why? Why, um, we’re not?”

Keishin took in a deep breath. He wasn’t surprised by the question. It was where the conversation was heading. He knew it was what Takeda had been wondering.  
“I’d rather you didn’t,” he smiled, as he said that, instead of cringing. After a second his eyes moved back to Takeda’s face, “It’s nothing to do with you. Don’t be, like, self conscious or something.”

They fell silent again, and Takeda chewed his lip. It wasn’t about him? That meant it wasn’t about what happened the first night, right? That meant Ukai wasn’t mad about that either? But maybe it didn’t, maybe he should just ask, at least apologize, one more time, properly. He couldn’t bring himself to do it though, couldn’t bring himself to talk about something he would so much rather they forget. He hadn’t forgotten, though, and he doubted Ukai had either.

He watched from his seat as the silence grew, as the conversation died, as he lost his chance to bring it up. He doubted they would talk about this again. He doubted he would be able to get anything more out of the coach if they did. Ukai wasn’t going to fuck him, and he wasn’t going to tell him why. He would just have to believe what he told him, and make due with that.

When he thought about it, though, which he did for pretty much the entire bus ride, Ukai had started acting strange before camp even started. It had started on Thursday, when he’d first talked about going for _drinks with a friend_. It had something to do with that, didn’t it? Maybe he’d gotten bad news, or met with someone he didn’t like? Maybe he hadn’t gone for drinks at all and that was just a cover for something else, something serious. Maybe Ukai was dying. Maybe someone else was dying. Maybe someone was dead.

He supposed he shouldn’t pry. If it really was some sort of big thing, Ukai had the right to keep it private. It’s not as if Ittetsu was particularly close with him either. They’d met only months ago. The only reason they were at all closer than two average coworkers was because they’d had sex for like two weeks. That didn’t entitle Ittetsu to know every detail about his life. Still, it felt weird not to know. It felt weird not to be able to help.

Ukai didn’t sleep on the bus, Ittetsu didn’t either, but there were times when the coach was looking out the window and his gaze unfocused, and it was clear he wasn’t really there. Ittetsu uses these times as a chance to watch him, to gaze at him, absorb his features.

He’d known it before, obviously, but Ukai was very attractive. Ittetsu thought his features seemed to complement each other perfectly. The little silver hoops in his ears brought out the sparkle in his dark eyes, his shaggy blonde hair hanging at just the right length to draw the eye to his sharp jaw. He had a little cut in his eyebrow, and Ittetsu could see the shadow of an old scar. He wondered how old. Whatever it was that was keeping him from continuing what he and Ittetsu had going on, Ittetsu had to admit it was a damn shame.

Eventually the roads outside the window started to look familiar. Eventually Ittetsu started to recognize the roads he took to work. Then they arrived in the Karasuno parking lot. They were home. 

Ittetsu let out a breath, almost like a sigh, and stood up to face the other seats in the bus.  
“Alright, is everyone awake?”  
A couple of boys groaned. Yachi raised her head off Kiyoko’s shoulder and a bright red blush started to envelope her face. Ittetsu paused, looking at all their groggy, young faces, resisting the urge to give them a long speech on the value of hard work. It was hard, he was so proud of all of them, but they were exhausted, and they’d probably had enough of his speeches over the past week.

“Ok, we’ll let you get home then,” Ittetsu grinned, “Good work this week, I can really see the team coming together.”  
Ukai looked up at him, as if he knew exactly what Ittetsu was holding back. Ittetsu felt a shiver run through his body. He would have to reprogram his nervous system, he shouldn’t react to Ukai’s gaze like that any more.

* * *

Ukai was more than happy to be back. He was more than happy to lock the door to his apartment, to settle down on his sofa, to tap out a cigarette and light it between his lips. He’d already had one on the walk back from the school, but that one barely counted. This one he was going to enjoy.

That week was shit. Absolute shit. But now he was home. Now, at the very least, he could sleep without the sound of a guy he knew from high school groaning “Take-chan” through the walls. He pulled as much smoke from the cigarette as he could fit in his lungs, hoping it would make his head spin at least a little as he blew it out. _Absolute shit._

He knew he’d have to think about it eventually. His feelings for Takeda, what he wanted to do about them, how he would do whatever it was he wanted to do. He’d have to decide if he wanted to get over them or pursue more. He’d have to think about what either of those options meant. He couldn’t put it all off forever, but he could put it off for a day. He could forget about it, just for now.

He opened his phone, finding the carefully crafted playlist his sister made fun of him for the last time she borrowed his phone. She told him he needed to go to therapy, which might be true. It was full of hopelessly depressing music that for some reason blended well with whatever the hell was going on in his head. So well it almost sounded like white noise.

He didn’t know where his speaker was, or his headphones, but he was home alone and he honestly didn’t care. He laid the phone on the back of the couch, right next to his head, with the volume turned up to the max, and closed his eyes, taking another long drag from his cigarette. Holy shit he was glad to be back.

Ittetsu wasn’t quite as happy about it. The emptiness of his apartment didn’t feel safe, like Ukai’s did. It felt cold. It felt lonely. With a sigh he turned on his computer, deciding to wade through the no doubt endless emails he had missed over the week. It wouldn’t be relaxing, but he didn’t think he could handle something relaxing right now. He couldn’t let his mind wander because the only things it had to wander over were things he didn’t want to think about.

He wasn’t having sex with Ukai, that was one of the problems. He wasn’t having sex with Naoi, either, with him all the way in Tokyo. He wasn’t having sex, which shouldn’t be a problem, it hadn’t been a problem three weeks ago, before he’d fucked Ukai, when he’d been basically abstinent for almost two years. It hadn’t been a problem in most times of his life, he’d gone months without sex during relationships and not really cared like this. It shouldn’t be a problem.

He’d changed a lot, though, in three weeks. And that was the other problem. He peered into his bedroom mirror. He didn’t even know if he recognised himself anymore. He’d slept with a near stranger. Easily. He’d had to push to get that near stranger to fuck him harder. He’d been bored, _bored_ , with dirty talk, and he’d been desperate for as much as he could get. 

What was he going to do now? Would he go back to normal? Back to his sheltered celibacy? Would he find someone new to fuck? Probably even more of a stranger than Naoi?  
Ittetsu clenched his jaw closed and drew his focus back to the computer. Emails. So many unread emails.


	15. Images

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little earlier than I normally post but I was excited!!! We're getting closer to the climax!

The week after training camp passed… slowly? Quickly? Ittetsu wasn’t quite sure. It was the opposite of their trip though. In Tokyo each minute seemed so full of excitement, and fun, and drama, that it all sort of whizzed by. At home each minute was like the last, and the week seemed to be suddenly over with absolutely nothing having changed. 

This also allowed the week to pass with neither the coach, nor the teacher making his decision.   
Keishin had planned to just take the night off from thinking about Takeda, but when he woke up the next morning, and the morning after that, and every morning since, for the whole week, he decided it could wait a little longer. It didn’t seem that urgent, after all, now that Naoi was gone. 

He talked to Takeda during practice, and he was getting better at it, seeming normal. He worked at the store, and coached the team, and saw his friends, well, once that week, but he was busy. He was busy every day, pretty much all day, and he didn’t have time to worry about stupid, fucking, _romance_. Maybe he wouldn’t even have to figure it out, maybe he would just naturally get over it over time. 

He still found his gaze lingering on Takeda for a second, maybe a minute, too long sometimes. He still found his heart skipping sometimes when Takeda laughed, or adjusted his glasses, or did fucking anything basically, but they were slowing down, they were starting to feel normal. Honestly, it wasn’t that bad. Dating, relationships, breakups, those were bad. Those were the things Keishin wanted to avoid, but this thing, this unrequited, unaddressed feelings thing, wasn’t actually that bad.

The only time Keishin was really, seriously reminded how dangerous, how painful, unaddressed want could be was on day halfway through practice, when he and Takeda had accidentally slipped into a familiar kind of conversation, a friendly kind of conversation, on one of his smoke breaks.

“No, I swear to god,” Keishin pushed, a grin growing wildly on his face, “his wife almost left him when she found out.”  
“There’s no way,” Takeda was shaking his head, pinching his lips to keep his own smile back, “There’s no way _Nekomata_ has a-” he didn’t finish the sentence, interrupted by a snicker that he dropped his head to try and hide.  
“Say it,” Keishin teased, seconds away from laughing himself, “Come on Take-chan, you can do it.”  
“I’m not saying it,” Takeda muttered, head still shaking, and stomach still trembling with laughter, “And it’s not true. I refuse to believe it.”  
“Sorry, what do you refuse to believe?”  
Takeda bit his lip so his laughter came out as a high hiss, “I’m not saying it.”  
“Say it.”  
“Ukai, I can’t.”  
“Sure you can, just say; ‘Nekomata has a-’”

At this, Takeda’s hands jumped up and flung both hands over Keishin’s mouth.  
“Please,” he whimpered, laughing to near the point of tears, “Please Ukai, stop, I’m gonna pee.”  
This made Keishin howl with laughter, and though he could think of probably five perfect responses to the comment, he was laughing way too hard to say any of them.   
“Takeda,” he wheezed, the closest to talking he could get, “no.”  
It took Takeda a second to realise what he’d said, but when he did his eyes shot wide, and his snickers grew into a silent, open mouthed laugh that Keishin knew he only used when he was laughing uncontrollably.   
“Ukai,” Takeda was laughing so hard it almost sounded like a sob, “I’m seriously going to pee my pants.”  
“Takeda, please,” Keishin begged, “Stop talking about peeing.”  
“I don’t know why it’s so hard to stop.”

Keishin could hardly open his eyes, laughing as hard as he was, but he managed to peek out for a second. Somehow, in that second, though, he managed to pick up on every detail of Takeda’s smile, of his laugh, like a photograph, and committed it all to memory. 

_“I’m in love with you.”_  
The words were on the tip of Keishin’s tongue. Why? He couldn’t exactly say, but it was just so fucking funny and Takeda was just so fucking funny and Keishin just liked him so fucking much.

He was going to sort out his feelings when he got home. He was going to finally figure out what he was going to do. He forgot, though that there was a soccer game on when he got home, so he had to watch that. After the soccer game he had to make dinner. After dinner he… he didn’t want to think about it. He would just avoid conversations about old men’s sexual fantasies. He would be fine.

* * *

Ittetsu hadn’t made his decision either. About whether he should find someone new to sleep with. It all just seemed so complicated, the more he thought about it. He didn’t know if he wanted a relationship, he’d never even thought about it, to be honest, a relationship with a man. He didn’t just want a one night stand though, either. He didn’t want to put in all the effort of finding someone, of becoming comfortable with them, just to have sex one time.

He wanted someone he could be comfortable with, someone he could trust. He wanted someone who knew him, who knew how to make him feel good. He wanted someone he could talk to, outside of just sex, so he wouldn’t have to feel awkward when it ended, or before it started. He wanted someone that he could see more than once. It wasn’t like he expected what he had with Ukai, or with Naoi during training camp, where he was getting fucked more days than he wasn’t, but he wanted something semi-frequent. Something he could rely on at least a couple times in a month.

It was clear what he wanted. It was clear _who_ he wanted. Of course, he wanted the person he couldn’t have. 

It was so frustrating, though. He understood Ukai didn’t want to fuck him any more, and he knew there was nothing he could do about that situation. He knew he had to just accept it and move on, but it was just so frustrating. To see Ukai every day at school, to smile with him, talk with him. He seemed a lot more like himself lately. The conversations they had drifting back to the way they used to be, before everything, but that just made it more obvious how much he _wasn’t_ having sex with Ittetsu.

It almost felt like the teacher had imagined their whole fling. Looking back on everything they’d done, everything Ukai made him feel, it wasn’t hard to believe it was a dream. His cheeks still flushed every time he walked past that one closet, the one where Ukai had sucked his dick. He still sometimes got goosebumps when he laced his skinny black belt through the belt loops, remembering the way it felt cutting into his wrists. It was hard to believe all that was just a couple weeks ago, and it was even harder to accept that it was over, that it may never happen again.

Over the weekend, Ittetsu had nothing to do but laundry, so he spent most of Saturday lounging on the couch reading a novel he’d read a million times. He got bored quickly, though, and decided instead to reorganize his room. He moved his dresser, which took longer than he had expected so it was getting late when he finally got to moving the bed. He pulled it a little off the wall, and he definitely underestimated how heavy it would be, when he saw marks on his wall. Marks that he was pretty sure weren’t there the last time he’d looked behind his bed. Marks, he was pretty sure, from where the headboard had crashed violently into the wall while Ukai had fucked him.

He felt a blush creeping up, and he pushed the bed back against the wall, noticing again how heavy it was, how hard it was to make it move. He would be surprised at the depth of the dents, because it must have taken a lot of force to make them, but Ittetsu could remember just how much force Ukai had used. He was almost surprised they weren’t deeper.

Ittetsu plopped himself down on the bed. Great. Now he was horny again. He glanced at the screen of his phone. It was almost 10pm, if he wanted to he could probably go out to a club, but he was tired, and clubs were loud, and he would have to dress up, and he hadn’t been to a club since he was like 23, and- and he just didn’t want to go to a club.

He unlocked his phone and opened the messages. He had an unread one from Naoi he’d forgotten about. He’d seen the notification hours ago, but wasn’t in the mood to respond. He didn’t even know how to respond to it, honestly. Naoi had just said, **we have weekend practice today, ugh**. He had been texting Ittetsu with useless messages since they left training camp, and Ittetsu was almost starting to regret giving him his number. Maybe he could make it worth it though. Maybe… maybe they could have a conversation worth having.

 **hey,** he started drafting the text before he even knew what he was doing, **how have you been.**  
Hopefully Naoi would get it, hopefully he would respond, hopefully soon, because this was the kind of thing Ittetsu would probably regret in about ten minutes. 

**Take-chan!** Naoi responded in less than a minute, thankfully **I’m glad you texted - I’m good - you?**  
 **I’m alright - It’s boring here - thinking about you**

The last text Ittetsu looked at for a couple seconds before hitting send. It was flirtatious, wasn’t it? Would it come across flirtatious? Ittetsu was still getting used to flirting in person, and most of his techniques revolved around physical proximity and tone. He couldn’t really do either of those over text. 

Naoi took a few seconds to respond, over which Ittetsu turned his phone over on his stomach and looked up at the ceiling. Worst case scenario, if Ittetsu completely embarrassed himself, he could just never talk to Naoi again. He could just nod to him politely when their teams played together and pretend none of this ever happened.

 **oh?** the text came back, **what exactly were you thinking?**  
Ittetsu let out a long breath, into a smile. Ok. He was going to do this. It was going to be fine.  
 **lots of things** Ittetsu typed, carefully moving his left hand down to the waistband of his boxers, **your hands - your lips - the way you touched me**

He couldn’t be sure, but he thought Naoi would like to hear that. He seemed to like nearly anything Ittetsu said while they were together.  
 **I missed the way you talk, Take-chan** Naoi responded, confirming Ittetsu’s beliefs, **you always know exactly how to turn me on**  
 **and you know how to make me feel good** Ittetsu rebutted, worries drifting away as the blood rushed from his head to his dick, **you know how to give me what I need - I wish you were here right now**

Ittetsu slipped his hand under his boxers and wrapped it around his dick, slowly making himself hard.  
 **fuck** was Naoi’s next message, **I wish I could be with you too - I wish I could touch you - I wish I could make you moan**  
 **and how would you do that?** Ittetsu typed with one hand, **tell me, Naoi-kun**

Naoi sent nearly ten texts in succession, describing in detail how he would flip Ittetsu over, drag his tongue down his spine, right down to his “pretty little asshole”, as he called it, and play with it in his mouth until Ittetsu was begging for more. Then, apparently, he would drag his tongue down to his balls, to his dick, and replace his mouth with his fingers in Ittetsu’s ass. Finally, when Ittetsu was squirming with pleasure, with desire, begging for his dick, Naoi would get up behind him and pull him so deep onto his cock he would feel it in his stomach.

Ittetsu groaned against his hand, reading the texts. Clearly he’d found Naoi’s specialty, because the words he sent had Ittetsu feeling things he hadn’t even felt when he was with him. “Flip him over”? Naoi had always been so gentle. “Make him squirm”? Naoi hadn’t once even tried to tease him. Ukai was the one who used to flip him over. Ukai was the one that used to make him squirm. He couldn’t stop his mind from wandering between the two of them as he read each new message.

 **shit, Naoi** he texted, his lungs rising and falling so dramatically his whole chest moved with them, **I want your dick so badly**  
 **are you fingering yourself, Take-chan?**  
Ittetsu bit his lip. He wasn’t. Should he?  
 **I want to see you doing what I can’t**

Ittetsu felt his stomach flip. He wanted to... _see_ it? Suddenly Ukai’s voice popped into his head, from almost a month ago now, one of the first times they’d had sex. _“Yo, sensei, ever been on camera?”_ He wondered what the coach would think if he could see Ittetsu now. He wondered if he’d be proud, if he’d be turned on, if he’d be jealous.

 **I wasn’t** Ittetsu admitted to Naoi, **but I’ll do it for you, Naoi-kun**  
He put down his phone and pulled open his drawer, grabbing the, now pretty much entirely empty, bottle of lube that lay there and squeezing out a couple drops onto his fingers. It wasn’t much, but it would have to do. He’d have to get more in the morning.

Ittetsu settled on his knees on his bed, pushing his boxers off his ass dropping his head down to the sheets. He bit his lip to the point that he split it open as he reached behind himself and started to push into his hole.   
He’d thought he could go in with two fingers, that was pretty much what Naoi had been doing the whole time they were together, but it had been a week, now, since anything had been inside him, and his asshole was starting to get tight.

He opened his phone with his free hand, twisting his head to the side to read the texts he’d been receiving while he got ready.  
 **I love how obedient you are** Naoi had said, **think about me while you do it - think about my dick**  
 **I am** Ittetsu told him, only a half lie, the man he was picturing behind him, the hands he was imagining at his hips, the fantasy flickered between Ukai and Naoi and some combination of them both, never quite settling on one.  
 **show me** Naoi responded instantaneously.

Ittetsu opened the camera on his phone, before suddenly pausing. How was he meant to do this? What angle was he meant to take it from, with one hand already occupied, working inside his ass. He lifted his head off his bed to turn it to the other side. The floor-length bedroom mirror on his wall was at just the right angle that he could see his waist in it, but maybe if he held his phone just right...

On the screen, on his phone, he could see the picture he was about to take. From his position on the bed, with his head pressed to the sheets and his hips raised up over his knees, his ass looked perfectly round and smooth. He could see his wrist flexing to angle his hand into himself. It looked good. It looked sexy.

He took the picture and sent it to Naoi, looking over it one more time in the message field. He was maybe, possibly, starting to understand why attractive men seemed to want him. The read receipt came up immediately, but he didn’t get a message back right away, unlike last time. He imagined Naoi opening the picture, inspecting it, inspecting him, with his hand on his cock. He pressed deeper inside himself, somewhere around where he knew it felt good, and groaned against the mattress.

 **closer** was the first text he got in response, **I want to see them go inside you**  
Ittetsu felt himself pulse against his fingers as he read it. Holy shit that was hot. Holy shit Naoi knew how to do this.

He sucked on the cut he’d bitten into his lip. He needed to do it, he wanted to do it, but how? How was he supposed to get that kind of angle? How was he supposed to get that close?   
He curled up, getting as close to his own ass as he could and sort of reached his phone behind him. He took three pictures before he got one that wasn’t horrendously blurry. 

He wasn’t sure if it was good though, it certainly looked insanely dirty. He’d never seen something going into his ass like that before. It stretched around his fingers and pulled out slightly around them. Was this what Naoi saw when he was fingering him? Was this what Ukai saw?

He sent the picture, the sweet heat of embarrassment blooming around his neck. Would Naoi like it? This time, though the read receipt came up just as quickly, the answer took even longer to come back. Ittetsu decided to put down his phone as he waited, moving his right hand down over his cock as his left hand continued to stretch out his hole. The memory of the camera only centimetres away from him burning into his mind.

When his phone buzzed, he couldn’t bring himself to move either of his hands, but he stretched his head to try and read the preview on the lock screen.  
 **fuck, I just came**  
Ittetsu pinched closed his eyes, pushing hard on his prostate as he tugged the last few strokes over his dick. He imagined Naoi jacking off to his pictures. He wondered if he would save them, if he would look at them again.

Ittetsu came hard over his white sheets, his ass convulsing around his fingers. He let out a shaky breath as he eased himself down, and then an even shakier one as he pulled out his fingers.  
 **me too**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, this is the last smutty scene for a couple chapters, but after it gets smutty again it's going to go SO CRAZY, so buckle down folks <3


	16. Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a pretty decent stockpile going and I'm excited to continue the story, so my friend suggested I post three chapters in one update!  
> I hope you guys enjoy and are excited for the next few chapters.

“No, no, you’re not getting it,” Ukai argued, the second the beer that had been occupying his mouth slid down his throat.  
“I get it,” Yuusuke laughed, “Don’t forget we’ve known you since you were 15.”  
“Yeah, we’ve seen this all before,” Shimada said with a heavy slap on Ukai’s back.  
“I was thinking it was about time lovesick Ukai made an appearance again.”

Ukai groaned, lowering his head onto his crossed arms on the pub table.  
“I was hoping he was dead.”  
His friends laughed jovially at his pain. They always did, retribution for how much of a bastard Keishin was to them normally.

“I guess that wouldn’t be surprising after Matsuyama,” Shimada admitted, lifting his pint up to his lips again.  
Yuusuke sucked air through his teeth, “Oof, yeah.”  
Keishin glared up at them over his arms. That was exactly what he needed to talk about now, his ex. The one that had once made him think maybe he could have a stable relationship, one that might last. The one that had later proved how wrong he was to ever think that.

“Well I for one am glad your back on your bullshit,” Yuusuke continued, leaning back in his seat with a wide smile, “Though, I hope you’re not dragging poor Takeda down with all your weird self confidence shit.”  
“Oh, I’m definitely not,” Keishin muttered bitterly, lifting his head out of his arms so he could get back to drinking, “He was fucking Naoi the same night I ended our,” he paused, searching for the word, “whatever.”

“Wait, Naoi?” Shimada turned to face him, all wide eyes and smiles. Keishin could already see Yuusuke’s chest shaking with repressed laughter, “Naoi Manabu?”  
Keishin nodded once, following it with a huge swig of his drink. His friends were silent for a second, during which he knew they were looking at each other, doing everything they could to not laugh, but before Keishin finished his sip their laughter filled the entire booth.

“Fuck you guys,” Keishin barked as he pulled the cold glass from his lips.  
“I’m sorry,” Shimada breathed through his laughter, “It’s just-” he looked across the booth at Yuusuke for support.  
“Naoi?” Yuusuke finished.  
The two of them fell into another burst of laughter, which Keishin tried to ignore, flagging down a waitress for another round.

“I mean,” Yuusuke snickered, “Good for Takeda, I guess.”  
Keishin just glared.  
“Yeah, like,” Shimada tried to hold a straight face, “Naoi’s pretty built, now, isn’t he?”  
“Can you guys just pretend to support me,” Keishin frowned, “like once?”  
“Oh fuck off, Ukai,” Yuusuke responded, spurring a sound of outrage from Keishin, “How are we supposed to support you when you can’t even decide what you want?”

Keishin dropped his jaw, looking over to Shimada for support.  
“He’s got a point, Ukai,” he hummed, looking down at his drink, “Do you actually want to date Takeda, or do you just want him to be as lonely and depressed as you are?”  
Keishin made a choked indignant sound as he looked between his friends, waiting for one of their expressions to change from the silent judgement, but neither did.

“I-” Keishin started, before the guilt of it started to settle at the bottom of his stomach. He watched as the waitress placed the new pint in front of him, faking a smile up at her before she left, but immediately settling into a frown once she left. “I don’t know,” he looked up at Yuusuke, “He could be a little depressed.”

Immediately Yuusuke started laughing again, “You’re such an asshole.”  
A smile flickered over Keishin’s mouth, but Shimada wasn’t laughing.  
“What?” Keishin felt the guilt growing again.  
“I just,” Shimada pursed his lips, looking at Keishin for only a second before he dropped his eyes back to his beer, “I know we’re just fucking around, but, I mean, Takeda isn’t just going to wait for you.” He finally faced Keishin fully, “You can’t expect him to.”

“I know that.”  
And he did. He really did. He knew Takeda could do whatever he wanted. He knew he couldn’t expect him to worry about his feelings, especially when he didn’t even know what they were.  
“Then what do you want?” Shimada pushed, with a little raise of his eyebrow, “If you like him-”  
“I don’t know,” Keishin groaned, interrupting him before he could start his lecture, “I don’t fucking know, okay? I just want to be normal again.”

“You want to get over him?” asked Shimada.  
Keishin looked over at Yuusuke, who avoided eye contact. He liked serious conversations like this even less than Keishin.  
“You’d be ok to never see him again, like, romantically? Sexually?”  
“I don’t know, Shimada,” Keishin groaned, taking a sip from his beer and wishing more than anything that you could still smoke in bars. A headache was creeping up from around his ears.

“Well you have to figure it out, Keishin, like I said, he’s not gonna-”  
“I know!” Keishin barked, slamming his glass down with an echoing _thunk_.  
“Well then stop fucking around!”  
“What do you want me to do? Confess my fucking love?”  
“Takeda deserves to know.”  
“That’s what you think Takeda deserves? Me as a boyfriend? Do you fucking hate him or something?”  
“Oh fuck off! You’re stupid self-deprecating jokes aren’t nearly as funny as they were when we were 17.”  
“They weren’t funny then,” Yuusuke muttered across the table.  
Both Keishin and Shimada whipped their heads over to him in an instant and he cowered behind his beer with a sheepish smile.

After a silent second, Shimada let out a heavy sigh.  
“I just don’t want you regretting anything,” he mumbled, making it suddenly clear how loud they had been speaking before, “And I really like Takeda.”  
Keishin huffed a bitter laugh over the table, “Me too.”  
The three of them seemed to take a collective breath as a silence fell again.

“I’m gonna have a smoke,” Keishin pushed himself up off the table.  
“I’ll come with you,” Yuusuke told him, he didn’t smoke much, but he did when he was drinking.  
“I’ll watch the booth, I guess,” Shimada grumbled.  
“Ah, head up Mako-chan,” Yuusuke grinned, “You’ll be glad to be the last one left when we both die of lung cancer.”  
Shimada laughed, “Yeah, when my two closest friends die I’ll be ecstatic.”

* * *

“Fucking Shimada,” Keishin mumbled through the cigarette between his teeth.  
“I mean…”  
“Not you too,” Keishin groaned as he lit his cigarette.  
“I’m just saying,” Yuusuke extended his hand, and Keishin considered telling him to buy his own fucking cigarettes, before tapping another one out of his pack, “You do this kind of thing,” he moved the cigarette to his lips, “You hide, you know?”

Keishin sighed out smoke, wishing it was doing a better job of killing his headache, “I hide?”  
“Your feelings and shit, you don’t, I don’t know,” he paused to take a drag, the final word coming out in a huff of smoke, “communicate.”  
“Ugh, I didn’t call you two out to be my therapists.”  
“You didn’t?” Yuusuke laughed, “Then you’re gonna tell an actual therapist this shit?”  
Keishin laughed, even if maybe he shouldn’t, “No.”  
Yuusuke rolled his eyes, “Well then, I guess you’re gonna have to deal with us.”

“Well, you can stop, I’ll-” Keishin pulled smoke from his cigarette and breathed it out in a sigh, “I don’t know, I’ll tell Takeda or,” he pinched his eyes closed for a moment, “or something.”  
“Or what?” a smile was growing on Yuusuke’s face.  
“Or… I’ll figure it out.”  
“Just tell him, you asshole.”  
“Don’t tell me what to do,” he paused, taking the cigarette from Yuusuke’s hand, “And buy your own fucking cigarettes.”

Keishin put both cigarettes in his mouth and drew from both of them at the same time. Now that was good. That was calming his headache.   
“Fine,” Yuusuke laughed at Keishin’s dramatics, “I’m going in then.”  
Keishin waved him off, and took a shuddering sigh when he disappeared behind the swinging bar doors. Telling Takeda. They said it like it was the obvious solution. The only solution. Maybe it was. Maybe, probably, he should have already known that.

He flicked open his phone, letting the two half-smoked cigarettes hang out his mouth. It was late. Late Monday night, because it was easier for them to get together on weekdays, and Takeda was no doubt asleep, or almost asleep. Not that he would do anything if he was awake. He knew better than that, as drunk as he was and with no clear idea of what he actually wanted to do, but he just noticed. He just thought about what Takeda was doing, where he was, sometimes

Tomorrow was Tuesday. A school day. So they would see each other. Maybe he should just invite Takeda out to drinks, like he used to when they were- before training camp. Maybe he should just talk to him. It had been two weeks since he’d realised, it was becoming clear that his feelings weren’t going to change. Maybe it was time to bite the bullet. 

He didn’t have to ask Takeda to be his boyfriend or anything, he didn’t have to ask him anything. Maybe it was time he just came clean, and then they could figure out together what they would do next. His friends were right, Takeda deserved to know. Takeda always made smart, informed decisions and it would be good to let him decide what he wanted to do about Keishin’s feelings. He was going to do it. He was going to invite him out for drinks.

He snapped closed his phone, tossed the butts of his cigarettes into the wet gutter where they sizzled out immediately, and turned back into the bar.  
“I’m gonna do it,” Keishin announced as he reclaimed his seat back at his booth, “I’m gonna talk to Takeda.”  
Shimada had ordered another round while the smokers were gone, and Yuusuke raised his above the center of the table.  
“Hell yeah you are,” he grinned.  
Shimada and Keishin followed suit, clashing their beers together between them.  
“Kampai!”

* * *

Keishin stared up at himself in the curved, anti-theft mirrors of the shop, as he waited for the school day to finish, when he would see Takeda. It didn’t seem like such a simple idea when it was daylight, and he was sober. Telling Takeda everything he was feeling. Maybe he should just have drinks out with him and not worry about telling him anything, maybe he could just flirt his way into something, like last time. Like every time. Honestly, Keishin couldn’t ever remember really confessing anything, he always just teased and flirted until the other person was confessing to him.

He teetered a little on the cheap metal chair he was leaning back in, letting the cloud of smoke block his distorted image in the mirror for a second. Whatever he was going to do, he was going to do it tonight. He was going to stop avoiding Takeda. He was going to start figuring this shit out, and if it ended in a relationship… 

He took one last look at himself in the mirror. God, he looked so young, didn’t he? He dressed like a 20 year old. He probably acted a lot like one, too. He let his chair fall forward onto all four legs and he broke his gaze from the mirror. If it ended in a relationship, if Takeda actually wanted to date him, that would be a good thing.

He pressed out the cigarette in his ashtray, he’d probably smoked too much today anyway, and he got up from behind the counter. It was time for him to go.   
He was going to go to Karasuno and he was going to coach some fucking volleyball and then he was going to fucking do it. He was going to talk to Takeda. It was going to go well, or, it was going to go how it was going to go. He was going to do it, that was the important thing. No matter how it turned out.

Takeda was talking to Kageyama when Keishin entered the gym. He had that look on his face, that sparkle in his eye, that he got when he was talking to students. He looked so comforting, so kind. Keishin thought he would probably make an amazing dad.

Woah.  
Keishin stopped in his tracks, trying to blink that image out of his mind. That was way too serious to be thinking about today, when he was already freaking out about maybe, possibly, seeing if he could be Takeda’s boyfriend.   
That was not something he needed to consider now. That was not something he needed to freak out about. He was freaking out about it, though. Mostly about the fact that he couldn’t stop picturing Takeda with a little toddler in his arms. Mostly about the fact that the image was way too adorable.

“Coach!” Daichi called as he walked up to Keishin, shaking him from his trance, “I had some ideas about starting rotations.”  
“Yeah,” Keishin nodded, blinking one more time for good measure, “Yeah, sounds good.”

* * *

Ittetsu could tell Keishin was looking at him. He could feel the eyes flicking over to him every few seconds? Minutes? He couldn’t be exactly sure but it was often. Often enough that heat was starting to gather a little around his ears. He hated when his ears went red, old friends used to always tease him about that. Ukai used to tease him about that. He liked it a little more when Ukai did it.

He could tell the coach was thinking about something. Something that seemed serious, given the wrinkles that were starting to form between his eyebrows. If things were how they used to be, Ittetsu might have pushed a thumb there to straighten them out. He might nag Ukai and tell him he was going to ruin his pretty face. Maybe that would have been too much even for back then, Ittetsu couldn’t be sure. He was starting to forget how they used to interact.

Was there ever a time when Ukai would have been alright with Ittetsu pulling him out of the gym in the middle of practice just to kiss him? Ittetsu knew he’d never done it, but could he have? He should have. He wanted to now. Maybe he was just getting wistful. 

He glanced down at his phone. Three unread texts from Naoi.  
 **What u up to?**  
 **I just listened to Nekomata whine for an hour about how much better Nekoma used to be when he was on the team…**  
 **Please tell me your life’s more interesting than mine**

He smiled a little as he read them. They were cute, they were funny, like Naoi.   
He quickly typed his response, aware of Ukai’s eyes flicking over to him for the thousandth time.  
 **Not really, Hinata missed a set and Kageyama’s been yelling at him for fifteen minutes.**  
They’d been talking a lot more since that night, over the weekend. Takeda didn’t really know what it meant, texting this often with a guy he’d slept with, many times, but it felt weird to ignore the non-sexual messages if he was going to encourage the sexual ones. That was creepy, wasn’t it? Sleazy? It felt weird.

And he was kind of glad to have Naoi still, because he was having a hard time going “back to normal”. Going back to being alone. Feeling Ukai’s gaze settling on him, a little too comfortably, he flicked his head over to meet his eyes. Ukai immediately turned back to the court, the little wrinkles between his eyebrows folding again. Takeda tried to tell himself the looks meant nothing. He shouldn’t read into the things Ukai said. He shouldn’t expect anything more than he was getting. He knew where that got him. He didn’t want to end up there again.

When practice ended, though, Ukai asked Ittetsu if they could talk. Talk. _If they could talk_. Ittetsu tried not to let his mind jump around, but it was hard. You didn’t ask if you could talk before something casual, something unimportant, so that left two options. It was either really good or really bad. Ittetsu tried to brace himself for really bad, it was always better to be surprised with good news than bad, but he was having trouble coming up with things Ukai could tell him that he wouldn’t want to hear.

Had he met someone else? Had Ittetsu done something that made him uncomfortable? Did he have an STD? Ittetsu bit his tongue to keep from making any expression on his face as they waited for the students to slowly trickle out of the gym. It was the STD thing, wasn’t it? Takeda didn’t know much about STDs, he’d never had one before, but he’d sat it on a health class many times, and the sex ed was getting more intensive over the years. STDs were scary. And they hadn’t always been that safe.

Oh god, Takeda probably had Chlamydia. Oh god, he would have to tell Naoi. Oh god, what if it was something worse. He wouldn’t know how to tell his family, how to tell the school, if he ended up in the hospital with prostate cancer or something because he’d been curious what it would feel like to have Ukai’s cum fill up his asshole. He felt sick. Was that a symptom of any STDs?


	17. Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be too mad at Takeda this chapter guys... He doesn't know what he's doing (T-T)

“Hey,” Keishin made the word sound like a sigh as he settled on a bench next to Ittetsu.  
The gym had now emptied, Kiyoko was somewhere in the equipment room organizing or something, but the players had all gone home, and Ukai had evidently decided he was ready to talk about whatever it was he had to say to Takeda.

“Hey,” Ittetsu responded, heart pounding in his chest as he went over everything he remembered from last year’s _STDs and Me_ assembly and trying to see if there had been any symptoms that he might have experienced in the two weeks since he’d been with Ukai.

“Um, so, I guess,” Ukai put a hand behind his neck, snaking it up into his hair. His expression looked sort of pained. This was really serious for a discussion about STDs was all Ittetsu could bring himself to think. Though he’d never had a discussion about STDs, he supposed they would be pretty serious, “I guess I never told you about why,” he took a deep breath, “Why we stopped, you know, our thing.”

Ittetsu’s heart suddenly stopped, and when it started pounding again it was for an entirely different reason than earlier. This was what they were talking about? The thing he’d been wondering about for two weeks. The thing that he still had to forcibly stop himself from thinking about so that he could actually fall asleep at night. That thing? 

The relief that he likely didn’t have Chlamydia only touched him for a second before he was panicking about something else entirely. What was Keishin going to say? Why had they stopped seeing each other? What if Takeda didn’t like the answer? What if… Takeda tried to stop himself from thinking it but his mind was already on the tracks and there was no derailing it… What if Ukai wanted to start again? What if Takeda could kiss him again? His eyes dropped down to Ukai’s lips for a second as the thought passed over him, but luckily the coach didn’t notice. He was gazing up at the ceiling, hand still in his hair.

“I mean, you asked me on the bus and,” Ukai dropped his gaze from the ceiling in an attempt to look at Takeda again, “I guess I just wasn’t ready to talk about it, but…”

They were suddenly interrupted. A ringtone. Takeda’s ringtone. A phone call.  
“Who’s that?” Ukai asked, the vulnerability in his eyes slowly fading behind his usual cool glare.  
_Naoi_. Ittetsu had told him he should call when practice was over. He hadn’t thought much of it, but that was earlier. That was before Ukai said he wanted to talk. Before Ukai started talking. He sure as hell didn’t want to talk to Naoi now.  
“Um,” Ittetsu looked at the screen, hesitating. He didn’t know why. He should have just lied, immediately. He should have instantly hung up. He shouldn’t have even taken it out of his pocket.

Ittetsu had just formed his mouth around the word “no”, to say “no one”, and his finger had found the button to decline the call, when Ukai leaned over and saw the contact name flashing over the screen.  
“Oh,” his voice came heavy and low, “You should get that.”  
“No,” Ittetsu finally made the sound, pressing on the button and quieting the deafening ringtone, “It’s not important. What were you saying?”  
Ukai was straight up in his seat now, looking far across the gym, “Nah, I-” he sighed, “It doesn’t matter.”

Ittetsu wanted to punch himself. He wanted to break his stupid phone. Why hadn’t he just ended it immediately? Why had he hesitated? What was he so afraid of.  
“So, Naoi, huh?” There was something in Ukai’s voice Ittetsu had never heard before. Something that sounded a lot like pain. A lot like heartache. “That’s still going on?”  
“No,” Ittetsu said again. It seemed like the only response he knew, “It’s really nothing, I swear.”  
“It’s fine,” Ukai said with a disarming smile and a huff of a laugh through his nose. Ittetsu had never seen a smile, heard a laugh, so devoid of happiness, “It doesn’t matter.”

Did it matter? Earlier today Ittetsu would have sworn up and down it didn’t. Not to him, not to Ukai, maybe to Naoi, but he honestly couldn’t bring himself to care what Naoi was feeling right now. Ukai was right there. Right in front of him. He’d looked at him, in the eyes, honestly. He was going to say, he was going to tell him why things had changed. Maybe he was going to let Takeda apologize. Let him make amends. Let them get back to where they used to be.

“Ukai I want to talk to you,” Ittetsu pushed, placing a hand on the small stretch of bench between them and leaning closer. As close as he felt he could without scaring Ukai off, he wanted to touch him, but he knew he shouldn’t. “I want to listen to what you were going to tell me. Please.”  
Ukai looked over at him, the emotion from earlier flickering in his eyes, as if he was deciding whether to suppress it, or maybe he was trying and failing.  
“Look, Takeda, it’s-”

Ittetsu’s ringtone blared again, and the teacher wondered why he didn’t snap his phone in half when he had the chance. _Please, Naoi,_ the words echoed in his head like a prayer, _please not now_.  
It was too late, Ukai had reformed his fake smile and the flickering in his eyes had settled, and it had settled on the cold, the emotionless.

“He really likes you,” Ukai huffed a laugh, sliding his hands in his pockets, “You should pick it up.”  
With this Ukai stood up, off the bench, and Takeda was almost tempted to grab a fistful of his polyester windbreaker and hold him where he stood. This couldn’t be it. He couldn’t let him go.

But he did. In seconds Ukai was out of his reach, and, as the coach approached the gym door and started pulling it open, Ittetsu picked up the call on his phone.  
“Hello?” He said, as normally as he could manage, with Ukai flashing him one more half smile and disappearing through the door. He felt like he might cry, if Naoi hadn’t been on the other end.

* * *

What did Keishin expect? Honestly. He’d been worried about what it would mean to be Takeda’s boyfriend. Whether he’d be good enough. Why did he assume he would get that far? Why did he just assume Takeda would be waiting on his hands and knees, begging for a chance to be in a relationship with him? Was he really that fucking stupid?

Of course Naoi hadn’t let go of Takeda just because they were, like, a two hour drive apart. That would be stupid. Takeda was- Takeda wasn’t the kind of guy you just let go of. Not unless, of course, you’re the stupidest person alive. Not unless you’re Ukai Keishin.

He was shaking a cigarette out of his pack before he was even down the two stairs outside the gym. His heart was beating so fast it felt like it was shaking. He felt like shit. He knew Shimada would tell him he was being overdramatic, Yuusuke probably would too, because probably he was. He knew Naoi calling Takeda once didn’t mean he was his boyfriend or anything. He knew it didn’t even mean Takeda had feelings for him, but it meant he had options. And that was fucking terrifying.

It meant Takeda could say no. It was a shitty thing to think. Of course Takeda could say no even if he didn’t have Naoi, even if he didn’t have anyone, but this just made it more tangible. It meant his fears went from being abstract concepts of heartbreak and disappointment he’d learned from past relationships, to the very real, very possible, fear that Takeda would hear his confession, frown, and say, “sorry I’m seeing where things go with Naoi right now”. Or he could say, “why should I choose you?” and Keishin would have to sit there, mind empty, trying to find a single reason Takeda should give him a chance. He wouldn’t be able to do it. He wouldn’t be able to answer.

It meant if Takeda did choose him, if he did say yes, if he did become his boyfriend, he would be giving something up. Giving something up for Keishin. It meant Keishin would have to be worth giving that up for. It meant a month in, or two months in, or whenever the fuck Keishin lasted to before gloriously fucking up, Takeda could look at him and say, or even just think, _Naoi wouldn’t treat me like this_. He could think _I wish I’d chosen Naoi_. Keishin wouldn’t be able to do that.

He could hear their conversation as he stalked past the open windows, barely even noticing the hot smoke swirling through his lugs as he walked. Takeda sounded like he was smiling, even if it was fake. He sounded happier, actually happier, when he was talking to Keishin, and for a second it made Keishin bristle a bit. Like he should go back in. Like he should _fight for his man_ , but the urge was over in a second. It was stupid and petty and it didn’t negate the fact that Keishin wouldn’t know how to actually _do_ that. His exes had liked him in the beginning, too.

He wanted to call someone, see someone, be around someone, but he couldn’t stand to subject himself to Shimada’s nagging about what he should have done, and what he shouldn’t have. He had enough regrets on his own. He thought maybe Yuusuke would be better. Not that he wouldn’t also have opinions, but he could read Keishin well enough to know not to talk. He would tell Shimada though, who most definitely would talk, if not in front of Keishin’s back then behind it. 

Not that Keishin thought Shimada was cruel or anything. Not that he didn’t deserve nagging, and disappointment, and everything else he thought Shimada would give him. Just that, he couldn’t take it. Not right now. Being alone sounded like a lot of work, but he would be able to handle it. He wouldn’t be able to handle disappointment, or advice, or pity. So, he was going to go home. He was going to be alone.

He should probably get used to it.

* * *

“Yeah, no, that’s funny,” Ittetsu said, not for the first time this call. He hadn’t really been paying attention, how could he? All he could see was the smile Ukai had been wearing when he disappeared past the door.  
“I know, right?” Naoi responded, easily persuaded by Ittetsu’s half-assed attempt at conversation, “But, um, there was something I wanted to talk to you about.”  
“Yeah?” Ittetsu hummed, trying to decipher what that sparkle in Ukai’s eyes had meant.  
“Yeah, I- I was thinking of planning a trip,” If Ittetsu had been even half there he would have noticed the excitement barely masked in his voice.  
“A trip?” Repeating the last couple words of Naoi’s statement was generally a safe response.  
“I was thinking of maybe coming up north, actually.”  
This actually did draw Ittetsu’s attention, “North?”  
“Yeah, um, it’s not that far, and I really don’t mind taking the train, so,” Ittetsu’s mind was suddenly washed of his earlier conversation. What was Naoi talking about? “I was thinking maybe I’d visit you this weekend.”

Ittetsu sat up straight, on the bench. He had not seen that coming. He was not prepared to respond. Taking a two hour train ride, four hours round trip, just to visit someone you saw less than two weeks ago? That was not something you did for a casual work acquaintance. That was not something you did for a friend. That was… That was something you did for a boyfriend. No. No, no, no, he couldn’t handle this right now.

“I mean, I’d probably just stay Saturday night,” Naoi continued, as the chorus of “no”s grew louder in Ittetsu’s skull, “So I’m not sure if I would get a hotel or if, I mean, if I’m not being to presumptuous, if I could just stay with you?”  
Takeda could hear it, but he could hardly process it. His brain was working at about one word a minute. Hadn’t he just been talking to Ukai? Hadn’t this call from Naoi been nothing? Been just an after practice chat? Hadn’t he just been weighing his options.

He hadn’t been doing it long, but so far, all the sex Ittetsu had had seemed pretty casual. Pretty non-committal. Maybe he’d just programmed his whole brain, his whole idea of sex, well, gay sex, around that one minute memory of Ukai, half dressed and hair still wet from their shower, asking in a cautious tone, _“do you want me to sleep over?”_ Maybe he had just taken that and accepted it as what men wanted, what sex with men meant, because relationships, romance, love, had all seemed like impossibilities. 

Now, very suddenly, he was aware of the possibility of getting a boyfriend. Of Naoi becoming his boyfriend. Soon. Of flowers and coffee shops and sleeping with someone else in his bed and waking up late Sunday morning to light filtering though his window and a large arm wrapped around his waist. But hadn’t he just been talking to Ukai? Hadn’t he just been thinking how badly he wanted to kiss him again? But Ukai hadn’t been offering romance. He hadn’t ever been offering romance. Had he?

It was weird, to hear Naoi’s proposal and Ukai’s at the same time in his brain. Naoi’s _”if I could stay with you”_ so hopeful, so sweet, and Ukai’s _”do you want me to sleep over”_ so… not. Could he really have romance? Could he really have love? He didn’t know how it had gotten in there, it had slipped in his skull without him even registering, but the idea that all Ittetsu could offer was his ass had taken root somewhere in his brain and would not for the life of it come out. Now, Naoi was breathing, softly, sweetly, expectantly, into the phone.

“Take-chan?” the nickname Ittetsu only liked because of Ukai. So then why did Naoi make it sound so much better? So much kinder? With so much more love.  
“Yeah,” Ittetsu found himself saying into the phone before the conscious part of his brain had made a real decision, “Yeah I- I’d like that. That sounds great.”  
Ittetsu could practically feel Naoi’s smile through the phone, “Ok, pick out some good brunch places, I think I’ll come in the morning, so I should get in around like ten or eleven.”

Ittetsu pictured the two of them at the restaurant he took his mom to when she visited town. The one with the pansies in the window. The one with the pretty round tables and the deep red corner booths, where he’d seen couples snuggling close to share one large menu. He pictured them ordering those fluffy mochi pancakes, and Naoi would make a face when they came out, and he would finish the ones Ittetsu couldn’t, and he’d get icing sugar on his nose.

He hadn’t known Naoi long, certainly not long enough to know if he could love him, but Ittetsu was finding it surprisingly easy to imagine.  
He didn’t know why he felt so guilty about Ukai, about the look that had lingered in his eye. He didn’t know why he was worrying about a man that had dumped him, a man that had made him feel like all he was good for, all he deserved was sex. It had been a long time since he’d considered the possibility of falling in love, but suddenly it was in front of him. Suddenly it was achievable, and he didn’t know why he was letting Ukai ruin that even a bit.

Ukai had looked sad, and Ittetsu would have loved to have talked to him, would have loved to have known what was wrong, to be able to help. He would have been happy to have gone back to the way things were, when he could sit on the coach’s floor, lean on his unmade bed and watch him smoke his customary cigarette after sex, but that wasn’t what was happening. What was happening was Ukai walked out. What was happening was Naoi was now talking to him. What was happening was Naoi was coming here, and he was going to sleep at Ittetsu’s and maybe, if they gave it enough time, Ittetsu could fall in love. 

It was wrong to think of Ukai at a time like this. It was wrong to let him influence Ittetsu’s decision. He had walked out. A couple times. He had turned his back. He had said no. Very clearly. Naoi was saying yes. Naoi was asking for more. Naoi wanted Ittetsu and for now, that was as good as it could get. Ittetsu wanted him to come this weekend. He wanted to see him again.


	18. Changes

Keishin didn’t cry often. Not because he wasn’t sad, I mean, shit, he was really fucking sad most of the time, but he didn’t really cry when he was sad. He didn’t cry when he was angry, or when he was really happy, though, he thought it was weird that anyone did that, and he didn’t cry when he was scared. There was pretty much one thing, one sort of feeling, that could make Keishin cry. It was when he felt pathetic. When he felt stupid and worthless and laughable and he felt all those things the day he watched Takeda pick up that fucking call.

He felt like just the most pathetic man on the planet. He’d woken up that day with one thing in mind. One grand idea. One plan for the day. To tell Takeda how he felt. To talk to him, honestly, about what was going on. Now here he was, on the floor of his apartment, spread out like a fucking starfish, eating a family size bag of doritos, all because what? A guy had called him. A dude had called Takeda. Naoi Manabu had called Takeda and Keishin had given up. He had been paralyzed with fear. He was pathetic. He was as pathetic as they come.

“Uuuggghhh,” Keishin groaned up at the ceiling, loudly. It didn’t matter. He was alone. He was going to be alone for a long time.  
“UGH!” This time he said it like a little shout, though it had the same effect. None.  
It felt a little nice to make noise though, and it distracted him enough that the glisten of tears in his eyes was starting to take shape. He pushed himself up off the floor, mostly so he could hang his head over his knees, hoping the gravity would help pull out the tears.

He wanted to cry. Not that he enjoyed it particularly but right now he needed to. Right now there was a little too much going on in his brain and he had to let a little leak out. He pinched his eyes closed, reminding himself of the details of his situation. That he was in love with Takeda. That he was going to have to keep working with him, seeing him, at least until the end of the school year. That Takeda had someone else. That Keishin had no one. It was pathetic, wasn’t it. It should be enough to make him cry.

It didn’t take long for Keishin to regret his push to make himself cry, because once he did, he had no idea how to stop. It was just so stupid. He was so stupid. And he wanted Takeda so badly and he had no fucking idea how to fix that. He shoved his hand in the bag of doritos, conscious that the sweet chilli heat on his hands was going to make it impossible to wipe his tears, and filled his mouth with chips. He had to regain the energy the tears were sapping out of him and he knew he wasn’t going to stop crying for a while.

“Keishin?”  
There was really only one person who was allowed to see Keishin cry. He’d had some friends in the past who’d seen him cry by accident, but he had promptly cut contact with all of them within a couple months. He hated anyone seeing him like that. Anyone except his sister.  
“Yukiko,” he groaned, choking a little on his sobs.  
She rolled her eyes, “Drama queen.”

Yukiko Ukai was two years younger, but since they were children she had been supporting him. Maybe it was because he was older but their parents divorce really hit Ukai a lot harder. She would sleep in his room, reminding him he still had family. Reminding him he would still be loved. She did the same thing now. Grounding Keishin. Supporting him.

He didn’t cry much now, but there were times when it was all he did. Yukiko was there for them all. There was nothing worth trying to hide. There was nothing left to be prideful about, stubborn about.  
“I’m so fucked.”  
“What?” Are you ok?”  
“I’m gonna be alone for-fucking-ever and… I don’t deserve love,” Keishin grinned, “But, yeah, I’m good.”

“Fuck off, Keishin,” Yukiko groaned, breaking the tension by extending a milk tea with half sugar and red beans, Keishin’s normal order, prompting the nickname _gramps_ , “When did you get back on this bullshit?”  
The coach didn’t answer, tilting his head back and looking at his window, taking a sip from his “old man drink”, as Yukiko called it.  
“I-” Keishin started, not breaking his gaze out the window, “He’s way too good for me.”

“Keishin,” Yukiko insisted, “He would be lucky to have you.”

* * *

Honestly, Ittetsu was buzzing. It was only Wednesday, Naoi wouldn’t be here until the weekend, but they had talked a lot about their plans, about what they could do. Ittetsu had been worried to get too excited, to try and make it too romantic, I mean, even if Naoi liked him, they had still only really known each other for about two weeks, they weren’t planning some kind of anniversary trip to Paris or anything. Still, the more they talked about it, the more Ittetsu let himself indulge in a little bit of fantasy. 

They were going to have brunch at that restaurant, the one Ittetsu really liked, then they would go for a walk, and Ittetsu would be able to show him his favourite spots in town. They would have dinner at Ittetsu’s apartment, Naoi wanted to cook for him, apparently he was a decent cook, and then they would spend the rest of the night there. Naoi would sleep over. Ittetsu would wake up in his arms.

It’s not as if Takeda hadn’t heard the millions of different ways people said you can’t force feelings. In songs, in books, in movies, in advice. He’d heard it _many_ times while he was with his ex girlfriends, when he had been talking to his friends about why it never quite felt the way he’d expected it to, but still, with the plans he’d laid out, he would be surprised if he got through this weekend without feeling some kind of flicker in his heart. He thought, maybe, he might already be feeling it, when Naoi said something flirty over the phone he blushed a little more than he used to. When he thought about their plans, his heart was racing.

The only problem, still, was Ukai. People falling in love didn’t normally analyze the looks in their coworkers eyes quite as much as Ittetsu was right now, did they? But how could he not, when Ukai kept looking like that? The progress they’d made, since training camp, in bringing their relationship back to normal had been completely wiped out by the natural disaster that was Naoi’s horribly timed phone call, but Ittetsu was trying to tell himself that was probably a good thing.

He wanted things to go well, with Naoi, with his visit, with whatever might come next, and honestly, Ukai had the power to get in the way of that. Things were still weird and unresolved between them and Ittetsu still felt a lot of complicated emotions when it came to their relationship. He had never stopped finding Ukai attractive, never stopped being weak to that face, those arms. He still felt guilty, about a lot of things. He had a lot of things to feel guilty about. He still wanted to know what Ukai thought of him, he still valued his opinion probably more than anyone else’s. All those things could make it hard to really fall for someone else. So, it was a good thing they weren’t really talking anymore. It was better that way. Safer.

On Thursday, Takeda skipped morning practice, and some of the afternoon too, opting instead to stay in his office and work on getting some more funding for the team’s equipment. They’d spent almost all the club funding on the trip to Tokyo, and hopefully they’d need another bus to Tokyo before the school year was over.

Ukai didn’t even look at him when he came into the gym at the end of practice. He didn’t look at him once, even when he was telling his plans to the team. Again, guilt twisted in Ittetsu’s gut, that it was his fault Ukai was acting this way, that he should have done something different, that day that Naoi called, that he should have been able to help. He pushed it down with a heavy breath, reminding himself it was Ukai that walked out, reminding himself he’d tried.

“Ok, send me your address Take-chan,” Naoi instructed during their phone call after practice, “I’ll take a taxi to your place when I arrive.”  
“What?” Ittetsu was in his kitchen, frying rice, as he talked to the coach from Tokyo, “No, no way, I’m picking you up.”  
“The train station’s far, isn’t it? I don’t want to make you drive all the way across town.”  
“It’s not far at all,” Ittetsu urged, “You’re coming all the way from Tokyo to see me, I can drive thirty minutes to the train station.”  
“Yeah, but then-”  
“Plus, the restaurant we’re going to is right near the station. That’s why I picked it. It doesn’t make sense for you to come here just for me to drive us both back out.”  
“We could go to a different restaurant.”  
“I’m picking you up.”

There was a short silence, then Naoi chuckled, “You must really like me, Take-chan.”  
Takeda smiled, pushing the sizzling rice from the bottom of his pan.  
“Lucky you,” he teased, feeling strangely melancholy for some reason. Strangely, sort of, off.

“I think I should go now,” Ittetsu told him, the rice he had moved was looking a little darker than it should, “but, maybe I’ll talk to later?”  
“Yeah, of course, talk to you soon.”

Naoi was coming in less than two days. He was excited. Ittetsu bit his lip as he shoveled rice into his bowl. Why was he not as excited as he had been for the past two days? Why did his chest feel weirdly tight? Why was he suddenly regretting this, suddenly dreading Saturday morning. He was probably just nervous. It made sense to be nervous. It would make less sense to be perfectly fine. 

It was Friday morning and Takeda was sitting at his desk. He would go down to practice in a minute, but Naoi had accidentally booked the wrong train, and so right now the teacher was busy trying to help him fix his mistake. It was early enough that the office was empty, so Ittetsu had Naoi on speakerphone and his computer was open to the bullet train schedule for the weekend.  
“Ok, see this one, that comes in at 11ish?”  
“Uhh,” Naoi held the sound as he clicked through tabs on his own computer, “Ok, yeah, the Tohoku 601?”  
“Yes.”  
“Ok, so I should switch to that one?”  
“Yeah, or there’s one that comes at 10:32, or else 11:40.”  
“No, no I think the 11 one’s good, right?”

Suddenly there was a sound at the door, and Ittetsu’s eyes shot up. Ukai had walked into the office.  
“Does that work for you, Take-chan?”  
Ittetsu blinked, and Ukai stopped in his tracks. They stared, silently, like a deer in headlights, though it wasn’t clear exactly who was the deer and who was the headlights.  
“Takeda?”  
“Oh, uh, yeah,” Ittetsu forced himself to speak, ripping his eyes from Ukai’s and back down to his phone, “11’s good, sorry, Ukai just came in, I’ll take you off speaker.”  
His hand was just over the button when Ukai spoke.  
“Don’t, it’s fine,” he closed the distance between him and the desk, “Hi Naoi.”  
Ittetsu felt his face starting to burn with embarrassment, though he wasn’t sure exactly why.  
“Hi Keishin, did Takeda tell you I’m coming to Miyagi this weekend.”  
Ittetsu’s blush deepened, and he sank a little into his desk, wishing Ukai had just let him put Naoi on mute.  
“He didn’t,” Ukai’s voice was trained, emotionless, but Ittetsu still found himself cowering in his chair, “Sounds fun. Look, sensei, we’re locked out of the gym, I was just coming to see if you had a spare key.”

* * *

Keishin called his sister the second he left the office with the key in his hand.  
“We’re getting drunk tonight,” he told her the second she picked up.  
This made her laugh, “Same thing from Tuesday?”  
“Yup,” he didn’t want to waste time, he wanted to get this day over and then get drunker than he’d ever been, “I have liquor, but feel free to bring more. If you’re any later than eight, I’m starting without you.”  
Again, she laughed, “So you’ll wait for me until eight.”  
Keishin was quiet for a couple steps, “Probably not.”  
“I’ll come over after work.”  
“Sounds good.”  
He liked his sister. She was good at this.

He hadn’t told her too much on Tuesday, partly because it all felt stupid and partly because he didn’t want to talk to her about sex, and most of the story had to do with sex, but she knew the general outline. He didn’t really want someone who knew all the details, though. He didn’t want advice. He wanted his sister to sit with him, talking about nothing in particular, and make him feel better at the end of the day.

The day was painful to get through, and Keishin almost wanted to take the afternoon off from coaching. He might have, if it wasn’t for those stupid fucking kids that had somehow got him more invested in this team than even when he was playing on it. If it wasn’t for the fact that for some reason he loved this, loved coaching, and loved all the players so much. If it wasn’t for the fact that they were doing so well, and he needed to be there to see if Tsukishima could pull off that new technique he’d been working on since training camp, or whether Nishinoya was still receiving Asahi’s increasingly powerful serves.

Luckily Takeda wasn’t around for the whole practice, though now that Keishin knew he was planning a trip for Naoi, he could hardly be glad he was starting his weekend early. He was probably somewhere making reservations at romantic restaurants, or buying handcuffs and ribbed condoms. Keishin didn’t know which he hated more.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he groaned from the floor of his kitchen later that night, he had a tendency to lie on the floor when he was sad, and when he was sad and drunk it was his favourite thing to do.  
“Yeah?” His sister hummed, noncommittally as she rifled through his cupboards, knees on the counter, looking for the bottle of tequila Keishin swore was back there.   
They had been drinking for over an hour, and honestly they could probably stop now, but Yukiko had suddenly decided she wanted to make margaritas.  
“I miss him,” Keishin continued, knowing she was only half paying attention.  
“Him?” Yukiko confirmed as she pulled a bottle from the back of the cabinet, and if Keishin wasn’t so drunk he might have remembered he never officially came out to his sister as bi.  
“Takeda,” he explained, “I miss him. I mean, I see him every day, but-”  
“Then go see him,” Yukiko climbed off the counter, tilting the bottle in her hand in a silent question. A question which Keishin answered by opening his mouth for her to pour the liquor in. 

“I can’t just go see him,” Keishin muttered when he swallowed the shot.  
“Why not?” Yukiko pushed his head away with her foot so she could open the fridge and grab a lime.  
“Because.”  
“You’re an idiot,” she told him, this time kicking his head for no discernable reason other than spite.  
“I can’t just go see him,” Keishin pushed himself off the floor to sit with his head on his knees, “he has Naoi now.”  
“Naoi?” Yukiko asked, she didn’t know a single one of these names, but she quickly decided she didn’t care, shaking her head and amending her question, “He has a boyfriend?”  
“Well, not a boyfriend,” Keishin started, too drunk to know how to explain Naoi.  
“Then why not see him, say hi? Close your ears.” The last part Keishin didn’t get until suddenly the blender filled the room with a disgustingly loud buzz.

Ukai placed his hands tightly over his ears and stared at the off-white tile floor in front of him. See Takeda? Just say hi? Why did they not seem like horrible ideas? The reason, of course was because he was absolutely wasted off three beers, a half a bottle of sake, a whisky, for some reason, and a vodka cranberry, well, and now that shot of tequila. He didn’t know how late it wasn’t but his sister had come over before eight, and they couldn’t have been drinking for more than a few hours, he could just take a taxi, go say hi to Takeda. He wanted to, he missed him.

When the blender finally stopped, it took Keishin a moment to take his hands off his ears.  
“I’m going to do it,” he said when he finally did.  
“Huh?” his sister was pouring the margaritas.  
“I’m going to go see Takeda.”  
Yukiko smiled proudly down at him, “Should I put this in a to-go cup, then?”


	19. Confessions

When his doorbell started chirping its little electronic song late Friday night, Ittetsu was pretty sure his neighbour had gotten locked out of his apartment again. His wife would sometimes purposely lock him out if he stayed out too late drinking, and he had given Ittetsu a spare key to hold onto “for emergencies”, but it was almost always used in that exact situation. He had not expected, in the least, to see Ukai Keishin when he opened his door.

“Takeda-sensei!” the coach grinned when he saw the teacher, and Ittetsu could already smell the alcohol on him.  
“Ukai-kun?”  
In seconds, Ittetsu’s heartbeat had started drumming a quick rhythm as he tried to understand everything that was happening. Everything that it could mean. Ukai was here, at his door, drunk, in the middle of the night. He was trying- well- he wanted to have sex with Ittetsu, didn’t he?

“Look-” Ittetsu started, unsure exactly where he was going with it.  
“I missed you Take-chan,” Ukai braced an arm against Ittetsu’s door frame and took a swaying step closer to the door, “I wanted to see you- we never see each other anymore!”  
“Ukai,” this time Ittetsu’s voice was soft, quiet, careful. He wasn’t sure exactly what Ukai was saying, he wasn’t sure exactly what it meant, but the coach did not seem in a good state of mind. Ittetsu was tempted to put a hand up on his jaw. Would that be weird?

“I want to touch you again, sensei,” Ukai murmured, stepping firmly through the doorway this time, “I want to put my hands in your hair.”  
As he said this, he reached over to twist one of Ittetsu’s curls through two fingers.

Takeda turned rosy at the touch, instantly, but his eyes held only concern for Ukai.  
“Ukai I won’t have sex with you,” he said, dipping his head with embarrassment, “Not while you’re like this.”  
Keishin’s eyes were focused on Takeda’s short black hair, how it wrapped around his fingers like it didn’t want his hand to leave. He could watch it for days, he thought.  
“Like this?” was all he mumbled in response, only half involved in the conversation.  
Ittetsu pushed Ukai’s hand off him and looked up to catch his gaze.  
“I’m not going to have sex with you unless you’re sober, Ukai,” he said firmly, “I’ll call you a taxi, you should go home.”

There was a second where Ukai just stared. He just held Ittetsu’s gaze, with a blank face that Ittetsu had no idea how to read, and then slowly, he started to smile.  
“I don’t want to have sex with you, sensei.”  
Ittetsu’s heart pounded.  
“And I definitely don’t want to go home.”  
For another second, they stood in the doorway, eyes interlocked. Ittetsu’s heart had started racing fast enough that it was almost distracting.  
“Then,” it came out quietly, on a shuddering breath, Ittetsu was nervous to ask it, but, “What do you want?”

Ukai smiled, and it was the smile Ittetsu had missed for so long. It was the cocky, casual, taunting smile that made Ittetsu’s entire body shiver. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he looked like Ukai. The Ukai Ittetsu used to kiss. He brought his hand back up, the one Ittetsu had swatted away, and connected it to Ittetsu’s jaw, his thumb rubbing gently over the cheek and making Ittetsu want to whimper.  
“What do I want?” Ukai seemed to consider, his teasing smile marking the question as ridiculous, “I thought you would know that.”

Ittetsu’s face burned even redder, wondering how in god’s name Ukai could talk like this, make him feel like this, when he was so drunk he could hardly stand. It was some kind of superpower.  
“How,” he forced himself to say, despite his embarrassment and his thundering heart, remembering the weeks of confusion Ukai had just dragged him through, “how am I supposed to know that?”

Ukai’s smile fell from his lips, though his thumb kept brushing over Ittetsu’s face.  
“You don’t?” his voice was a tiny bit slurred, from the alcohol. He took a step past the doorway, his body already so close to Ittetsu’s he had to take a step back, too, “You don’t know that I love you?”

It took Ittetsu ten full seconds to register even a single possible meaning of the sentence he was just presented with, and when he did the only response he could come up with was a breathily laughed out, “What?”  
He brought a hand to his face, to cover his growing smile, as he searched deeply, desperately, in Ukai’s eyes. He wasn’t wearing his teasing smile, his eyes were half-lidded and they met Ittetsu’s confidently, openly, as if they had nothing to hide. As if this is what they’d been hiding all along. 

“Y- You-” Ittetsu tried to start again, but he was interrupted by Ukai suddenly dropping to a knee to untie his shoe, “What are you doing?”  
“I want to come in,” Ukai explained, then he tilted his head back to look up at Takeda again, “Can I come in?”  
“Uh,” Ittetsu’s heart was still racing and his mind was still working overtime trying to figure out what it meant when Ukai said he loved him, and how he was supposed to respond, “Uh, yeah, sure.”  
“Can I sleep over?” Ukai asked as he pulled his first shoe off, the momentum of it sending his drunk body rolling backwards onto the floor, “I want to sleep in your bed and hold your head on my chest and listen to you when you snore.”  
“I- I don’t snore,” Ittetsu argued, his brain picking the least important part of the sentence to focus on, because that was really all he could manage at the moment.  
“I used to sleepwalk,” Ukai told him as he moved to tug on his second shoe, “When I was on antidepressants. My doctor said it was,” he struggled for the word, “It wasn’t like,” he gestured something with his hands.  
“Related?” Ittetsu guessed, and Ukai flashed him a bright smile from his position on the floor.

Ittetsu watched Ukai bend his other knee over his stomach, trying to pull off his second sneaker. All the possible emotions he had been feeling collapsed into panic. Ukai was really, really drunk, and Ittetsu had no idea how he was meant to take anything he said in this state. What if it was all drunken nonsense? What if he was going to take it all back tomorrow? What if he was going to regret it all tomorrow? How would Ittetsu be able to look him in the eye and listen to him say, “I’m sorry, I don’t love you, I was just drunk”?

Ittetsu turned his head away from Ukai for a second, focusing on the wall to help him clear his brain a little. He had to keep reminding himself that Ukai was drunk. That he didn’t know what he was saying. That Ittetsu shouldn’t take it too seriously. That Ittetsu shouldn’t say it back. 

He didn’t know why he was thinking that, why he had to hold himself back, why he had this strong urge to say it. Did he love Ukai? He wasn’t supposed to. He hadn’t planned to. He didn’t think he did, but then why did he want to say the words? Why did he want Ukai to hear them? Why was the main thing holding him back just that image, of Ukai waking up tomorrow and telling him he didn’t really love him? Why was that the only problem he seemed to have?

“Should I take a shower before bed?” Ukai asked as he pushed himself up off the floor of Ittetsu’s front entrance, “I had a shower after work, but I smell like beer and tequila don’t I?” He snaked an arm around Takeda’s waist, sliding close beside him, “And you smell like sandalwood, Take-chan. You always smell so good.”  
He hung his head over Ittetsu’s shoulder, breathing him in.  
“You said you won’t have sex with me,” he muttered quietly, close to Ittetsu’s ear, “but can’t I at least kiss you? I might go crazy if I can’t touch you at all.”  
Ittetsu gathered all his strength with a deep breath, before turning around and pushing Ukai off him.  
“You should have a shower,” he answered, keeping his voice calm and direct, “And you should brush your teeth, too. Then we’ll see how you feel.”

* * *

Ittetsu’s heart didn’t stop racing the entire time Ukai was in his bathroom. Not even as he sat, cross-legged and perfectly still, on the side of his bed, doing nothing but forcing himself to take long, deep breaths. They’d done this before, Ittetsu waiting, listening to the hiss of the hot water, mentally preparing himself for any possible future. The other times they’d done this, though, they were about to have sex. The other times Ukai hadn’t just randomly showed up, hadn’t confessed his fucking love to Takeda.

The shower shut off, and Ittetsu chewed on his lip nervously. He’d been trying to figure out one thing and one thing only the entire time it had been running. Was he in love with Ukai?  
He was only marginally closer to an answer than he’d been when Ukai walked in the door. He was the first man Ittetsu had ever been with. He was the first one to make him think about what he wanted, what he liked, and he was the one who taught Ittetsu how to ask for that, the one who gave it to him.

He liked Ukai, god, he really liked Ukai. He respected him, he admired him, he thought he was funny, he thought he was attractive. He wanted to kiss him. Holy shit, he wanted to kiss him. When Ukai had said that in his ear Ittetsu had nearly melted on the spot. He wanted Ukai to sleep over, he wanted to wake up in his arms. He wanted Ukai to love him. He did. He didn’t want that to just be drunken rambling, he wanted it to be true. He wanted Ukai to love him and he wanted to hear him say it again, so, did that mean he loved him back?

He heard the sink start running. Ukai was brushing his teeth. He would be out soon, and Ittetsu still had no idea what he was going to say to him.

He’d only said “I love you” to one person in his life. His most recent girlfriend. After they’d been dating for nine months. Even that he wasn’t sure if he meant, or if he’d just been scared he would lose her if he didn’t say it. Did he love Ukai more than he’d loved her? And was it alright if he did? If he loved a man he’d met a couple months before, a man he’d never dated, a man he’d done nothing much other than sleep with, when he couldn’t love his girlfriend?

The door to the bathroom clicked open, and Ittetsu tried to stop thinking of it, tried to convince himself he was prepared.  
“Hey,” Ukai said as he emerged wrapped in a small, fluffy white towel. The shower may have sobered him up a little bit, because he looked a little sheepish.  
“Hey,” Ittetsu responded, just as sheepishly.

“Um,” Ittetsu continued after a moment, “I have some pajamas I think might fit you in-”  
“Oh,” Ukai interrupted him, as he started to move to his dresser, “I don’t have to sleep over, if, um, you don’t want me to. I’m sorry I-”  
“It’s fine,” Ittetsu insisted, continuing the trend of interruption, “I really don’t mind, I mean, if you want to go home-”  
“No,” Ukai interjected, because it would almost be rude not to at that point, “No I- I would be happy to stay.”

For a moment they held their positions, silently, unable to think of anything to say. Finally Keishin let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sigh, and he pushed a hand up into his wet hair.  
“Did I really tell you I love you?”  
Ittetsu’s heart wrenched at the words. Was he going to take it back already? Ittetsu thought he’d be allowed to live in the fantasy at least until morning. Maybe it was good they were doing it now, though. He couldn’t imagine sleeping well, with everything he was thinking.

With a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever Ukai would say next, Ittetsu nodded his head.  
“God,” Ukai put his face in his hands, and Ittetsu wondered if the slight redness in his skin was from the alcohol, the heat of the shower, or embarrassment, “I really am the king of romance, aren’t I?”  
Ittetsu pushed out a bitter laugh.  
“It’s,” he took a heavy sigh, “It’s not true, is it?”  
His head tilted down to his floor as he said it, and he couldn’t bring himself to look back up. He couldn’t bring himself to look any higher than Ukai’s feet, worrying any expression would give him an answer. And answer he didn’t want to see.

“What?” Ukai laughed from above him, and Ittetsu couldn’t help but shrivel a little at the sound, “What? Takeda it’s- I-” He took a step forward, then hesitated, withdrawing the hand he’d reached out to Ittetsu with, “Takeda, i- it’s true. I- I do.”  
Ittetsu wrenched his head up, forcing himself to look at Keishin. To admit this was happening. Ukai loved him, or, he said he did. Ukai was offering romance. The earlier question, did Ittetsu love him back, was pushed aside for a moment. This was too good to ruin with worry, to squander on second-guesses. Ukai loved him.  
“Do you still want to kiss me?”

In an instant Keishin had a hand on Ittetsu’s mattress, stopping him just close enough to look Ittetsu in the eye, see that he was there, that he was happy, before roughly interlocking their lips, drawing the kiss from Takeda. His other hand was spread on Takeda’s chest, slowly pressing him down onto the bed, under him. He closed his eyes tightly as he finally got Takeda down on his forearm, kissing him almost desperately.

It was warm and it was passionate and Ittetsu found himself grateful he was pressed against the bed so he had something to press up against, to deepen the kiss. One hand slid into Keishin’s wet hair, the cold water a strange contrast to the heat of their skin. The other hand slid down Keishin’s body, finding and grabbing at the towel on his hips. Interestingly, he was grabbing it to hold it in place, to keep it from sliding off. They were just kissing, and Takeda didn’t think he could take seeing, or feeling, any more of Keishin’s naked body than he already was.

The hand still spread over Takeda’s chest, found itself with not enough to do now that Takeda had been pressed down, and a thumb dragged casually over Ittetsu’s nipple. Ittetsu pressed a hand on Ukai’s shoulder, signalling him to stop. He broke the kiss immediately, though his low lidded eyes told Ittetsu he was not too happy about it.  
“No more than this,” Ittetsu chided, his face drawn seriously, “You’re still not sober.”  
“No more than this,” Ukai repeated, with an impatient nod, “Got it.”  
Ittetsu let a small smile slip out as Keishin dropped his face to Ittetsu’s again. He was like a teenager. And he loved Ittetsu.

Soon, Keishin broke off from Ittetsu’s lips, only to slide down to his jaw, then over his neck. He sucked the skin between his teeth, playing with it just enough to leave a hickey there tomorrow. He really was like a teenager.  
“Ukai-kun,” Ittetsu breathed the name as he held the coach’s head to his neck.  
With one last soft bite, Keishin pushed himself off the bed, onto his hands above Ittetsu.  
“We should really go to sleep,” he admitted, “If you won’t let me fuck you drunk I’m ready to get sober.”

Keishin borrowed the pair of pyjama pants Takeda offered him, and he changed into them when Takeda went to the bathroom, to really quickly wash his face with ice cold water. Ittetsu wasn’t entirely sure how he was planning to sleep beside him. To not mind the occasional sleepy hand on his waist, or his leg. He was going to be shivering with arousal all night long, waiting for Ukai to slowly blink his eyes open and declare he was sober, he still loved him, and he was ready to be inside him again.

He would have to force himself to think of something else, like kittens, or his grandparents' farm, or the tournament matchups for preliminaries, who they would likely have to beat. He stalked back down the hallway and found Keishin standing in the corner of his room, shirtless and in Takeda’s biggest pair of plaid, drawstring pyjama pants, which only barely fit him. His smile flickered up when he saw the teacher, and he started to walk towards him.

“You sure you’re ok with me sleeping over?” He asked, as his hand lightly slid over Takeda’s waist.  
“I’m not sure I’d be ok with you leaving,” Takeda countered, his eyes silently thanking him as they dragged over the image in front of him.  
“Fuck, Takeda,” Keishin grumbled, moving a hand to his face, “we need to sleep, stop being so fucking sexy.”  
“God, you have no manners,” Ittetsu said with a shaking head as he moved onto his bed, pushing to the far side of the mattress to let Ukai slide in next to him.  
“You’ll have to teach me in the morning,” he grinned, pressing a kiss to the back of Ittetsu’s neck as he shuffled in behind him, arms wrapping around his thin waist.  
“Oh I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I will take another one week break after the next chapter because I totally fucked my stockpile with that three chapter upload last time. Also I said I would take breaks every ten chapters anyway.
> 
> Also, idk why I always feel like I shouldn't swear in my notes and comments because it's inappropriate for my readers... and then I remember what I write.... :P


	20. Reunions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry Naoi-kun ( ╥﹏╥ )

Ittetsu did have trouble sleeping. For a long time. Ukai was warm and heavy behind him, his hand calming at his waist and yet that warmth left every part of Ittetsu he wasn’t touching feeling cold, feeling painfully aware of how _untouched_ it all was. Every time he fell asleep he found himself dreaming of things that just made him more sensitive, more wound up.

Ukai fell asleep pretty quickly, which Ittetsu retrospectively understood. He had drunk himself into a staggering mess and then taken a long hot shower. Keishin woke up around 4 am, though, before the sun had even started flickering over the horizon, and gone to the kitchen, drank a ton of water, and washed his face. 

Most of which Ittetsu realized because when he returned to bed and slid in beside him, his hands and face were cold and wet on him. The teacher had been awake for all of it, but he hadn’t revealed himself to Ukai, hoping he could maybe get a bit of sleep before he got pounded into next century.

Keishin held Takeda close all night, though once he fell asleep Takeda squirmed enough that by morning he was sleeping on top of Ukai’s chest, rising and falling with his heavy, peaceful breaths. Maybe they were so deep because his lungs only worked at half capacity, or maybe he was just a really sound sleeper, but either way they were soothing. The one non-dirty dream he’d had that night had been of sleeping on a massive snorlax, something he’d wanted to do since he was 13 and the first pokemon games came out.

They were drawn awake, the next morning, by a ringtone. Ittetsu’s ringtone.  
“Mmm,” Takeda groaned, turning his head to press his cheek even closer to Keishin’s chest.  
Keishin let out a content sigh, squeezing Ittetsu in his arms for just a second. Ittetsu wished he could just melt into the coach. Into his warmth and love.

Again Takeda’s ringtone sounded, and this time he lifted himself off of Ukai just enough to reach for his phone and answer it.  
“Hello,” he mumbled into it, voice drawn low by sleep.  
“Take-chan?” Ittetsu’s throat went dry at the voice.  
Naoi.  
How had he forgotten Naoi?  
“Did I just wake you up?”  
Ittetsu’s brain was buzzing, he had already pushed himself up off Keishin’s chest, causing the arms at his waist to slide down to hands at his hips. Now, Takeda was pulling his phone a few inches from his face, enough to check the time.  
11:10  
Naoi was in Sendai. He was waiting for Takeda to pick him up.

“Yes,” Ittetsu exclaimed, figuring out that he could talk into the phone just as much as he could hear from it, “Yes, I’m so sorry. Oh my god I’m so sorry Naoi-kun.”  
Maybe it was a result of all the noise above him, maybe he was grumpy from being woken up, maybe it wasn’t about the name at all, but Keishin’s sleepy eyes flashed open at the end of the sentence, and they quickly narrowed into a warning glare.  
“I- um-” Ittetsu stalled, trying to figure out what it was he wanted to say, to do, “Are you here?”  
Keishin smiled, hooking a lazy thumb into Takeda’s waistband. Saying _I’m here_.  
“Um, if by _here_ you mean Miyagi, yeah!” Naoi said cheerfully, “I’ll see you soon, right?”

“Ummm…” Ittetsu hummed, cold guilt settling in his stomach and clashing dramatically with the heat of the arousal slowly creeping up from where Keishin was touching his hip. Keishin didn’t move, waiting to see what Ittetsu did. As if it were his turn in chess.  
If Ittetsu left now, if he got up, got dressed, and got in his car, he could pick up Naoi and be eating brunch by noon. But… His eyes flicked down to the thumb in his waistband, to the toned arm it was connected to, to Keishin’s face, his eyes, watching him like a hawk. He wasn’t going to leave. There was no fucking way Ittetsu was going to leave this bed.  
“I don’t know, I-” Keishin’s hand slowly spread upwards towards Takeda’s stomach, “I feel, um, really sick.”  
He _was_ sick. So fucking sick.

He could picture Naoi, standing at Sendai station, waiting for his car to come around the corner, and here he was, in bed, with another man, and he would rather cut his own head off than leave. So… So he was going to send Naoi home? Naoi had come halfway across the country to see him, and Ittetsu found himself feeling surprisingly little. He couldn’t bring himself to care half as much as he knew he should with Ukai’s bare chest under him. The only thing he really felt was guilt over the fact he felt so little.

Keishin’s tongue flicked over his lips. Making the cold guilt steam in a hot wave of arousal.  
“You’re sick?” Naoi confirmed, and Takeda couldn’t be sure how much Naoi believed him. He couldn’t imagine he was all that convincing right now, with Ukai’s hands flicking the buttons of his pyjama top open.  
“I’m so sorry,” Takeda started up again, this time feeling the words fall out of his mouth, “I should have called you last night, but I’ve just been a mess, I don’t know if I can see you this weekend,” he couldn’t believe what he was saying, he’d never been a good liar before, “I feel so bad, you came all the way here.”

Ukai finished pulling apart the last button, and the shirt fell open in front of him, though it hung in a way that only really let a sliver of flesh peek through. With a devious smile, Ukai pulled the shirt carefully off his shoulders, choosing now to look instead of touch. He knew exactly how much Ittetsu liked that too, though. How much he loved seeing Ukai’s eyes scan over his bare body, soaking him in.  
“Oh, that’s,” Naoi’s voice was barely masked sadness and confusion, “There’s nothing you can do about that, I guess.”  
Ittetsu thought he saw a smile flicker over Ukai’s lips as he heard that. Was he really that jealous of Naoi? That he would smile at the man’s pain? Was it awful that Takeda was incredibly turned on by that?

“I’m really sorry Naoi,” Ittetsu started again, not sure what else to do other than apologize as he watched Keishin push himself off the mattress to put his lips to his neck.  
“It’s fine, I- I guess I’ll just go home,” Ittetsu couldn’t even feel bad about the absolute hopelessness of Naoi’s situation with Keishin’s mouth travelling down to his collarbone, “I hope you’ll feel better.”  
Takeda bit down on his lip as Keishin sucked a bit of his chest between his teeth, tugging the skin hard enough and slowly enough that it would probably leave a mark. What was it about Ukai and hickeys all of a sudden? Was this going to become a problem?  
“Thank you, and I’m so sorry,” Takeda urged, his eyes interlocked with Ukai’s to help numb him to the guilt.  
“It’s fine, you’re sick.”

Oh my god he was so sick.  
Sick in the way that the guilt in his stomach had already washed away by the time he closed his phone. Sick in the way that he had just sent a man home after a two hour train ride and all he could do was drop his phone from his hand and wrap it in Ukai’s hair instead, holding the coach’s head closer to his skin as he let out a little whimper.  
“Ah, yes, I like you so much better when you can make noise, sensei,” Keishin smirked, gazing up at Ittetsu with affection in his eyes.  
“Please tell me you’re sober, Ukai,” Takeda whined, impatient for any kind of teasing.  
“God, control yourself, Take-chan,” Ukai teased with a laugh, pinching his nipple in retribution.  
“You know, I actually used to be really good at that,” Ittetsu remarked, swinging a leg over Ukai’s his to straddle him, “Until I met you.”

Ukai smiled a confident, satisfied smile as he let his eyes scan over Takeda’s body. Tracing the soft lines, the small but sturdy frame and the perfect pale flesh in front of him. He took his time observing him, his hands sturdy at his hip, asking the teacher to stay put.  
“Don’t worry,” he finally spoke, his eyes full of heat when they finally locked with Ittetsu’s again, “I’m sober.”

* * *

Keishin let one hand slide up over Takeda’s ribs and the other one wrap around his thigh as his kisses moved lower, closer to Takeda’s dick. It had been hard already by the time Keishin pulled his pants off, though it had yet to be touched.  
“Please,” Ittetsu whimpered, his hips squirming a little under Keishin’s weight.  
Keishin’s kisses turned to smiles against Ittetsu’s skin.  
“Oh come on,” he teased, raising his head to look up at Takeda, “I know you can beg better than that.”

He didn’t know exactly what he was doing. He didn’t know exactly where he stood with Takeda, or how he got there. He was trying not to think about everything he’d done last night, though unfortunately he had been just sober enough that he remembered almost all of it. None of it mattered though. Those were stupid, insignificant details compared to the simple fact that Takeda was underneath him again. His lips were on Takeda’s skin and he was begging for more. It was hard to not feel like everything was way more straight forward than he’d convinced himself over the past three weeks. Takeda was here, in front of him. What more could he want?

“Ukai I swear to god, I-” Takeda’s objections were silenced by a gasp as Ukai slipped his mouth over his head. His tongue flicked over the front, before he flattened it to the bottom of his mouth and took Takeda in, to the back of his throat.  
“Fucking hell,” Takeda cursed, his head tilting back into the pillow and drawing his spine up into an arch.  
“How do you look so cute and act so filthy?” Ukai asked him as he took his mouth off his cock, replacing it with a hand at the base.  
“Don’t know,” Ittetsu huffed impatiently, “now keep going.”  
Keishin’s mouth curled into a smile, his hand pumping over Takeda’s spit-coated dick.  
“You’ve gotten bold, sensei,” he scolded with a smile, dropping his head not to Takeda’s dick, but instead to the skin at the top of his thigh, right before his groin. He sucked it just enough to get the flesh between his teeth before biting down, tugging hard enough to make Takeda hiss. “Do I have to remind you who’s in charge here?”

Ittetsu looked down at Ukai, and even biting down on his lip couldn’t stop his massive smile. He was so glad to be with Ukai again. He hadn’t been this turned on since they’d stopped seeing each other.  
“Sorry Ukai-sama,” Ittetsu sang, unable to keep a straight face, but enjoying it all the same, “Please go down on me, I love the way your mouth feels.”  
Ukai laughed, content with the response. He took his hand off Ittetsu’s erection and placed two of his fingers into his own mouth, covering them with spit before he took them out to free up his mouth to suck cock.

Ittetsu knew what was coming, he knew what the fingers in the mouth meant, but he still whined in surprise when he felt them pressing at his entrance.  
“Ukai,” he breathed. A plea. A plea for something. A plea for more.  
Keishin’s tongue touched every inch of Takeda’s dick as he rolled his head up to look at him.  
“Call me Keishin,” he told him, before immediately sinking back over him.  
“Shit,” Ittetsu cursed as Keishin got his first finger deep enough to make it feel good, to make him begin to crumble, “shit, shit, oh my fucking god, oh my god, Keishin.”

Keishin’s lips tightened around Ittetsu as he smiled in response to his own name, pressing his finger right into Ittetsu’s prostate and enjoying the feeling of the dick in his mouth twitching in response. He dropped low, taking Ittetsu deep into his throat before he slowly pulled back up and let his tongue play over the head. His eyes flicked up to Ittetsu’s face once or twice, and found the teacher staring up at the ceiling with an expression so dirty it almost turned Keishin on more than his naked body stretched out under him. Almost.

“Fuck I’m gonna,” Ittetsu warned, lacing his fingers into Keishin’s hair and lightly pushing him back, “I’m gonna cum.”  
Keishin didn’t take his head back, instead he made room to push his second finger inside Ittetsu before the spasms of orgasm tightened him up too much. Ittetsu gasped at the new pressure and Keishin flattened his tongue against the underside of his dick just in time to take it in the back of his throat when Ittetsu bucked his hips. He didn’t have to suck for a full second before he started to feel it sliding down his throat. The heels of Ittetsu’s feet pushed hard on Keishin’s back holding him close, though Keishin wouldn’t go anywhere if he could, and he held tight to Ittetsu’s thigh and pushed again on Ittetsu’s prostate, drawing out as much of his orgasm as he could. Ittetsu’s hips were shaking against Keishin for a long moment before his legs finally relaxed and slid off the coach’s back.

“Holy shit,” Ittetsu huffed as his head collapsed to his pillow, remembering just how much he’d missed this. How much he’d loved this.  
“That was quick,” Keishin teased, lifting himself off Ittetsu’s cock without taking his fingers out from inside him, “How long have you been waiting for this?  
“Way too fucking long,” Ittetsu admitted, honestly, “Promise you won’t leave me like that again.”  
Keishin crawled up Ittetsu’s body, his fingers still slowly working inside him, stretching him out. He leaned close, stopping inches from a kiss.  
“I don’t know, it can’t be good for you to be this horny.”  
“Ukai Keishin,” Ittetsu murmured, tilting his head up an inch closer to Keishin’s, “I’m always going to be like this for you.”  
Keishin felt his heart pound, as Ittetsu kissed him gently, romantically. He must know what he was doing to him, what he was saying.

Keishin lifted himself off Ittetsu for a moment and locked their eyes together.  
“Always?”  
Ittetsu’s lips twitched into a smile.  
“Always.”

* * *

There was one thing Ittetsu had forgotten, about sex with Ukai. One thing that he had gotten used to not having with Naoi. It was how clear his head was, how clear it could be. With Naoi he had to always be thinking. What they were doing, how to do it better, what to do next. He had to focus on what felt good, and work to convince himself it felt even better. He was constantly thinking things to turn him on, things that could get him to cum.

With Ukai he didn’t have a thought in his head. Everything felt so natural. Every move was an instinct, a need. Every touch pulled a noise from him that he could barely even recognize as his own. He didn’t need fantasies or focus to turn him on, Keishin was there, in front of him, doing all that for him. Turning him on so much he couldn’t think of anything else if he’d tried. He was so perfect. So beautiful.

He remembered Keishin being good at dirty talk but honestly, all that was just icing on the cake. The way he fucked Ittetsu, the way he touched him, Ittetsu didn’t need to hear anything, see anything, do anything, in order to feel his pleasure building. 

Now, Keishin had his knees on the bed under him and Ittetsu’s legs wrapped tightly around his waist. Ittetsu was on his back, and Keishin refused to let him cover even an inch of his face, even though he knew his face must be bright pink and making all kinds of expressions.  
“I don’t know why you’re hiding Take-chan,” Ukai told him after the second time he pushed his arm away, “I seem to remember you like being watched.”  
A moan slipped from Ittetsu’s lips as his ass slapped against Keishin’s hips.  
“Oh yeah,” Ukai grinned, slipping his thumb between Ittetsu’s soft lips, pinching and tugging out the bottom one, “You like being heard too, don’t you?”

“Fuck,” Ittetsu breathed as Keishin’s fingers brushed through his hair over his ear, to settle on the mattress beside him.  
“Come on,” he tightened his grip on Ittetsu’s thigh, leaning his weight onto his arm and letting gravity help him push deeper into his ass, “I want to hear you scream.”  
“Keishin,” Ittetsu whimpered, “I-”  
He almost looked like he wanted to argue, like he wanted to stay quiet, just breathy huffs and low whimpers, but as Keishin thrust into him a sound came out of him like he’d never made before.

Keishin smiled, pulling his hand on Ittetsu’s thigh to unwrap the legs from his waist, instead holding it below the knee and pushing it above his hip, stretching him into a position where his ass was unguarded, where he could take him, hard.  
It seemed to work, because Ittetsu’s quiet moans slipped away in favour of high cries that filled the quiet bedroom. It was still Saturday morning, before noon, and there was no doubt Takeda’s neighbours were home, and could likely hear them, but Keishin didn’t feel bad. The neighbours should feel lucky to hear this, it was a beautiful thing to hear.

Ittetsu didn’t feel quite the same, and soon he was wrapping a hand around Keishin’s neck and pulling him down to silence his moans with a kiss. He knew it was the only way the coach would put up with it, the only gag he wouldn’t immediately pull from Ittetsu’s mouth. His own tongue. He didn’t mind so much the smothered moans and muffled sighs when he could feel them rumble over his lips, and when he broke the kiss, Ittetsu still held him close, letting his mouth slide down to his jaw, and then to his neck. 

Keishin leaned back, Ittetsu being pulled with him by the tight grip he had on his neck, and soon Keishin had his ass on the bed, Ittetsu riding him. It wasn’t really something they did often, Ittetsu was normally shy about his own skills, his ability to keep rhythm, but the weeks apart had left Ittetsu desperate. His brain was wired with one thing, desire, and he didn’t have room to remember what he was shy about, what he wasn’t good at.

“Sensei,” Ukai groaned as Takeda’s hips rolled over his. Lips, tongue and teeth on his shoulder.  
“I love it when you call me that,” Ittetsu breathed in his ear, before taking the earlobe between his teeth.  
Keishin huffed the closest thing he could to a laugh with his eyelids fluttering closed and his breath hitching with every move, “Kinky,” he muttered.  
Ittetsu braced his hands against Keishin’s shoulders to hold them face to face. He raised an eyebrow, “You’re surprised?”

He shoved Keishin down to the bed, clearly having given up on gagging himself, and rode Keishin with everything he had, letting his voice settle back into wordless moans. Keishin was more than satisfied, he lay his head back on the mattress, watching as Takeda fuck him. He looked amazing. Felt amazing. Takeda just _was_ amazing, and after three weeks apart it felt so, so, fucking good to be together again.

Ittetsu’s eyes were closed, and his head hung down over Keishin’s stomach, where his arms were braced. He didn’t see Keishin move his hand to his dick, he only felt it as it started pumping.  
“Ah, Keishin,” he moaned, his hips stuttering and adjusting their rhythm as he started fucking into his hand as well as riding.  
“Takeda,” Keishin rumbled in reply, his own hips bucking slightly under him.  
“Tell me I’m pretty,” Ittetsu mumbled, too distracted to even process what he was saying as he said it.  
“You’re gorgeous,” Keishin corrected.  
“Tell me you love me.”  
“I love you.”  
Ittetsu’s breath became laboured as he struggled to keep his rhythm steady, his hips moving, apparently, however they pleased.  
“Again,” he breathed.  
“I love you.”  
“You love me.”  
“I love you.”  
“Keishin,” Ittetsu moaned, his body curling in on itself as he came.  
“Takeda,” was Keishin’s response, holding Ittetsu as close to his hips as he could with one hand.

Ittetsu’s hips didn’t seem to want to be held down, it seemed, as they squirmed and bucked in Keishin’s hand. And holy shit it felt so good. It felt so good Keishin thought he might faint, Ittetsu’s throbbing ass rubbing over every inch of his dick as he came. He was glad he was wearing a condom, because the mess he would be making without one… He hardly had to imagine, it would probably be similar to the mess Ittetsu was making on his stomach that same moment. And that fucker had already cum once.

Ittetsu’s breath was heavy and fast when he finished, but it started to slow as he gingerly lowered himself to Keishin’s chest. He was careful not to move enough that it would change the position of their hips, they were both far too sensitive for that right now. When his head came to rest next to Keishin’s, the coach laid a heavy hand on his back, and _god_ it felt so nice.  
“Ittetsu,” he finally spoke when he’d caught his breath enough to do so.  
“Hmm?” Keishin hummed, close enough to his ear he felt the vibrations.  
“You can call me Ittetsu,” he clarified, “if I can call you Keishin.”  
They were silent for a moment, both their chests swelling and shrinking as they drank in the cool air of the apartment.  
“Huh,” Keishin finally sounded, “I don’t think I knew your given name.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just handed in a half done math assignment that was worth 10% of my grade for some reason !!! I hope you guys enjoy the smut, though!
> 
> I'm gonna take another week long breath, hopefully I'll come back with some fresh ideas for this fic, and also I'm thinking of starting a slow burn Asanoya... though maybe I should slow down on the writing given how horribly this assignment just went.


	21. Reasons

**A List of Things that are not Reasons to Tell Someone You Love Them:**

  1. They told you they love you
  2. It seems like it would feel good to say
  3. You think they will be mad if you don’t
  4. You think they will be sad if you don’t
  5. You want to make them happy
  6. You want to be in love
  7. It would be really fucking hot to say during sex



**The Reasons Ittetsu Wanted to Tell Keishin he Loved Him:**  
_See above._

It sucked. It really sucked that Ittetsu couldn’t fully convince himself he loved Keishin, because god it would be so nice if he did, but honestly they’d never even been on a real date. He hadn’t even considered him in any sort of romantic sense until that night. Well, he’d always stopped himself. He’d always told himself it was an impossibility, and even now, laying against his chest in a warm bath that was likely too small for two fully grown men, it was hard for him to grasp that it was true. That Keishin had real, romantic feelings for him. That he loved him. That he wanted them to be together.

He was definitely feeling things he’d never felt before, desire, infatuation, adoration, but nothing he could really, honestly, truly, label as love. And Ittetsu knew very well the kind of worry, pain, and resentment that can grow out of lying about loving someone. Though, he knew equally well how quickly things can end when you don’t say “I love you” back. For some reason, though, Keishin hadn’t raised it. For some reason, even after confessing his love, what was it? Five times, now? Six? Somehow he was just lounging in the bath, drawing patterns along Ittetsu’s thigh as if without a care in the world. Why was he so calm about it?

There was a reason Keishin wasn’t in a rush to hear Ittetsu say “I love you” back. He was actually glad not to hear it right away, as a response. He’d been told it before, he’d been loved before, but he’d also been lied to before. He’d been told he was loved by someone who didn’t love him, for a very long time and he didn’t want to go through that again. If Ittetsu was ever going to say the words “I love you”, Keishin wanted it to be because it was true.

Not that the idea of Ittetsu truly loving him wasn’t terrifying. That wasn’t another reason he didn’t want to hear “I love you” right now. He wasn’t ready. It was easy to be liked, to be wanted, the same way it was easy to like, easy to want. Loving was harder, but being loved was the hardest. The most pressure, the most danger. He loved Takeda, which meant Takeda had the power to crush his heart in his hand, but Keishin could accept that, he could prepare, and though it was hard for him in general, if anyone was going to treat his heart with care it would be him. Being loved? Takeda loving him? That would mean Takeda would have to trust him, he would have to trust himself, and if he failed he wouldn’t be the one heartbroken, Takeda would.

For now he was content with loving. With holding the teacher close to his chest and watching the warm water he traced over his leg roll slowly off his skin and back into the tub.  
“Should we just sit here all day?” Keishin murmured over Ittetsu’s shoulder.  
“I’m gonna get back pain,” Ittetsu responded, twisting his head to look back at him, “I’m almost thirty you know, I can’t sit in a tub all day.”  
“God, buzzkill,” Keishin frowned, splashing water up to Takeda’s face, earning a laugh and a _hey!_ “I was trying to be romantic.”  
“Oh, Ukai,” Ittetsu folded his knees under him so he could turn around, still sitting between Keishin’s legs, “You should know that’s not your strong suit.”

The coach laughed, splashing Ittetsu again and prompting a small water fight between the two of them, ending with Ittetsu the clear loser if for no other reason than the huge puddle of water on his bathroom floor that he would have to clean.  
“You know what _is_ my strong suit, though?” he asked, drawing Ittetsu close to his chest again.  
Ittetsu tried to hold back his smile, lacing his fingers through Keishin’s half-damp hair and trying to figure out if he could handle another round.  
“No,” he finally decided, spinning himself around and laying his back against Keishin’s chest again, “We’ve had enough sex. We’re supposed to be clean after the bath, that was the point of the bath.”

Keishin frowned, but he knew it was true. It was approaching 5 pm and they’d been fucking since the morning. The bath was supposed to mark the end of it, but it was just so hard. So hard to keep his hands of Takeda when he was right in front of him. Naked, and gorgeous, and covered in small pink bite marks and hickeys. He hadn’t left many marks the other times they’d been together, he’d kicked the habit after years of meaningless sex with people who may or may not have boyfriends, husbands, wives. Now he couldn’t help himself. Now that Ittetsu was his.

Suddenly the thought hit him.  
“We’re dating right?”  
Takeda turned his head over his shoulder, once again, to look at him, but he said nothing.  
“Like, we,” Keishin continued, feeling a slight blush develop over his cheeks, and he never, I mean _never_ blushed, “Are we, um-”  
Ittetsu huffed a laugh. A sweet little laugh. One Keishin couldn’t bring himself to be mad about.  
“Ukai Keishin, king of romance.”

This time Keishin pinched the tight skin over Ittetsu’s ribs, making him yelp into a laugh.  
“Stop making fun of me,” he said over his shoulder, “I’m trying my best.”  
“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” he pleaded, giggling as he beat the hand away from his ribcage.  
For a second they just smiled, and then Keishin continued, “So?”

Ittetsu grinned, raising a hand to hold Ukai’s face as his thumb brushed over his bottom lip.  
“If you want to be my boyfriend, Keishin,” he told him, dropping his voice to a sweet, somewhat seductive whisper, “you’re going to have to ask.”  
Ukai stared, parting his lips and letting Ittetsu’s thumb slide between them, just enough that he could taste it.  
“Fuck, I want you to be my boyfriend so bad.”

It was hard for Ittetsu to keep the sexy, casual facade as a huge smile broke out on his face, so he let his hand drop to Keishin’s neck instead, pulling him in for a kiss. Ittetsu allowed himself a moment to appreciate it, the feel of Ukai’s soft lips, the way they connected so perfectly with his, the little jolt of excitement each time their tongues touched.  
“I want to be your boyfriend, too,” Ittetsu whispered, touching their foreheads together as he broke the kiss, to tell Keishin not to go anywhere, to tell him they weren’t done.

When Ittetsu tilted his lips back to Keishin’s he noticed the coach was kissing back harder, more urgently. His boyfriend. His boyfriend who loved him. What more could he want?  
Bracing one hand against the edge of the tub, Ittetsu matched Keishin’s urgency, his technique. Ittetsu could feel Keishin’s small smile before he pulled Ittetsu’s lower lip between his teeth, tugging at it in a way that could hardly be called gentle. Ittetsu almost whimpered, tightening his grasp on Keishin’s neck.

The coach was smiling broadly when he broke the kiss.  
“Did you just choke me?”  
Ittetsu felt a little blush creep up on his cheeks, and he averted his eyes innocently.  
“Let’s get out of this damn bathtub,” he said, raising his body from the now luke-warm water instead of answering the question.

Keishin watched Ittetsu stand, step out of the tub, and begin to dry himself with his pale blue towel before he even started to move.  
“You know, I think I like you more every day,” he mused as he finally started to get up.  
Ittetsu faced the wall, away from him, trying to bite down on his growing giddy smile. Keishin’s wet arms wrapped around him when he was finally out of the bath, and Ittetsu found his body leaning back against him without having to think at all.  
“Are you hungry?” Ittetsu asked, unsure what else to say with “I love you” off the table.  
“Starving.”

* * *

“So,” Ukai started as he settled at Ittetsu’s kitchen table with a mug of coffee. It was probably too late for coffee, but they’d been in bed all day, so he hadn’t had a chance yet, “Got any dinner reservations or something?”  
“Why?” Ittetsu asked, taking a full five seconds and an encouraging look from Ukai to remember Naoi’s existence, that they were supposed to be having a romantic weekend right now, “Oh, no, um, no reservations.”  
Ukai frowned, bringing his mug to his lips.  
“So what were you guys going to do?” he asked.

Ittetsu averted his eyes, wondering why Ukai would even want to hear this. He knew he didn’t want to talk about this.  
“Um, I think he was just going to make me dinner here.”  
Ukai made a face, like that was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard.  
“That’s so lame,” Keishin told him, and Ittetsu laughed at the word choice, “Naoi’s so lame, Takeda, why did you like him?”  
Ittetsu hid his smile with his mug, still getting used to seeing Ukai’s jealousy so openly.  
“I never liked him more than you,” Ittetsu assured him.

Keishin huffed a laugh, accepting that response.  
“Ok, here’s what we’re gonna do,” he started, and Ittetsu felt his heart flutter in excitement, “We’re ordering takeout, taking it to my place, smoking weed, eating until we’re sick and watching Studio Ghibli.”  
“Ooh Ponyo?”  
“I was thinking Castle in the Sky, but Ponyo’s good, too.”  
Ittetsu leaned forward onto his hand, braced against the table.  
“If we smoke weed I won’t be able to drive home.”  
“Oh, honey,” Ukai said with a smirk, “That’s the point.”

Ittetsu smiled, taking a long sip from his coffee as his ankle knocked against Keishin’s. He really was an introvert, he really did need time alone to feel rested, but it was strangely comfortable being with Keishin. He felt like he could do this for another full day. Especially the eating takeout and watching Ponyo part. That sounded like heaven.

“What kind of takeout are you thinking?”

They ended up getting fried chicken, which basically meant anal sex was off the menu for that night, but after their morning Takeda thought maybe it would be good to take a break. They could still do other things though, if the urge came. In Keishin’s living room, they surrounded themselves with the boxes of chicken, and snacks, drinks, and sweets from the convenience store downstairs, getting high enough that the insane amount of food looked somewhat reasonable.

They watched Ponyo, and then Castle in the sky, and then started Secret world of Arriety, before the food and weed settled enough in their systems that they could move again. It was twenty minutes into their third movie when Keishin wrapped a loose arm around Ittetsu’s shoulder. The teacher leaned into the touch, settling his head in the crook of Ukai’s neck.  
“I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend,” Ittetsu murmured, a little too high to be embarrassed by it.  
“I know,” Keishin said smugly, tightening his grip on Ittetsu’s shoulder, “I’m pretty amazing.”

“I think I like you more than I’ve ever liked somebody before,” Ittetsu told him, leaning even further back into Keishin’s chest, putting a hand on his leg to keep his body from falling right into his lap.  
“I think I really like hearing you say that,” Keishin smiled into Ittetsu’s curly hair, both their eyes still trained on the TV screen, where the movie was still playing.  
“I think you’re going to be a really good boyfriend.”  
Keishin laughed at this, his chin poking at Ittetsu’s head.  
“I’m not sure why you think that but I’m pretty sure I’ll have to disagree.”

Ittetsu ignored the comment, cuddling gently into Keishin.  
“Do you think you’d like being a borrower?” Ittetsu mused, watching Arriety dash across the kitchen on the screen.  
Keishin hummed into his hair, quietly.  
“I think it would be fun,” Ittetsu continued, “being so little.”  
Keishin lowered his mouth to Ittetsu’s ear, “You’re already little,” he teased, digging fingers into the teacher’s ribs.

Ittetsu laughed, his spine curling to squirm away from Keishin’s fingers.  
“I’m not that little,” he protested, squeezing Keishin’s thigh, “You’re like, ten centimetres taller than me.”  
“You’re my little borrower boyfriend.”  
Ittetsu flipped himself around, over Keishin’s lap, “I’m a regular size.”  
“You’re tiny.”  
“Keep it up and I’ll start choking you again.”  
Keishin laughed, “Is that supposed to be a threat? That’s an incentive.”  
Ittetsu leaned forward, kissing him gently.  
“Pervert.”

It was a couple minutes before Ittetsu started to feel like it was inappropriate to have a kid’s movie playing in the background of what they were doing, what with a hand in Keishin’s hair, his hips grinding over the others and fingers dusting up under his shirt. This was not something Arriety had to see.

When it was off Ittetsu started kissing down Keishin’s neck, watching him start to shiver. Ittetsu lightly pushed at the hem of his shirt, dropping his head low to kiss at his stomach.  
“Hmm,” Keishin hummed, letting her hands weave into Ittetsu’s hair.  
“Hmm?” Ittetsu confirmed, his fingers folding into Keishin’s waistband.  
Keishin’s abs flinched as Ittetsu’s tongue flicked out over them, and Ittetsu took it as an ok to untie the drawstring of his sweatpants. Keishin seemed to agree, pushing his pants off for him.

“Thanks,” Ittetsu murmured, sliding down to kiss at the edge of his black boxers, and then pulling them down as he did.  
“Anytime,” Keishin smirked, taking the glasses that were sliding off Takeda’s nose and folding them behind him on the couch.  
“How kind,” Ittetsu continued as he tugged the boxers down and used a hand to steady Keishin’s hard cock.

His head dipped over it, letting it slide between his soft lips and Keishin groaned, rolling his hips out towards him. Ittetsu pressed his tongue up against its underside, trying to draw out the happy sound for as long as he possibly could. It worked well, making the groan pull out into a smooth, low, moan. He pinched his lips around the base, then drawing them slowly out towards his head. He shivered, noticeably shivered, as he dragged along him.

He could taste the oils from their earlier bath on Ukai, his skin was insanely soft, and warm from sitting under blankets and thick cotton sweats. It was pleasant, more pleasant than usual, to suck his dick right now. And, Ittetsu usually found it pretty pleasant. His tongue pressed into it as the cock filled his entire mouth, and Ittetsu found himself not hating the taste. Definitely not hating it, actually. He slid the hand up and over to squeeze tightly on Keishin’s hip.

“Sensei,” Keishin whined, shivering as Ittetsu’s pointed tongue flicked over the head.  
Ittetsu hummed his approval over Keishin’s erection, then pulled himself up off his dick as a thought struck him.  
“Wait, you have ropes at your apartment, don’t you?”  
Ittetsu vividly remembered the time Ukai tied him up with his belt, and he was pretty sure the coach said something about what a shame it was they weren’t at his apartment, so they could “do it properly”.

“Oh, Ittetsu, I love your little devious mind,” Keishin asked, his eyes sparkling at the idea, “You want me to tie you up?”  
“Hmm,” Ittetsu considered, dipping down to plant a kiss on the head of his dick, “I think I’d rather I do the tying.”  
Keishin blinked down at him, twice, before a shiver tore through his spine. For a second he silently cursed himself for being too scared to talk to Ittetsu for all that time, because he’d wasted three weeks when he could have been doing this.

Ittetsu needed a little help to get some of the knots right, and Keishin tried not to let it show how absolutely adorable he found that. He knew the teacher wasn’t trying to be adorable. Keishin did actually find himself pretty intimidated, though, in the end, with his limbs tied to the four corners of the bed and Takeda perched between his legs, content with his work.  
“So,” he smiled, folding his hands over his lap, “What do I do now?”

Keishin felt himself shiver. He didn’t know what it was, Takeda was generally timid, respectful, and pretty inexperienced, but somehow Keishin was still at his mercy, and somehow he still found himself liking it.  
“What, you want me to teach you how to dominate me?”  
Ittetsu blushed, embarrassed by how the words sounded out of Keishin’s mouth, and embarrassed by how true they were.

“Just,” Ittetsu let his hands slide gingerly up Keishin’s sides, enjoying the feeling of his skin under his fingers, “tell me what you like.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had lowkey writer's block this week, idk, but I think I'm getting inspired again. We'll see.


	22. Pinches

At the very least it looked nice. Ukai Keishin, stark naked except for the piercings in his ears and the red silk ties around his wrist and ankles. The knots looked messy, to say the least, but Takeda had tugged on them a couple times and they seemed like they wouldn’t undo too easily. In any case it was a beautiful thing to look down on, and Ittetsu had no idea what to do past that.

“So,” he considered, letting his fingers ghost over Keishin’s thighs, “Should I touch your dick?”  
Keishin looked up at him from the head of the bed.  
“You don’t have to,” he said with a lazy smile, “Not right away, at least.”  
Ittetsu hummed, not liking just how casual Ukai seemed about it. Just how unbothered he seemed to be. He was tied up, at Ittetsu’s mercy, and he seemed totally fine. That just wouldn’t do.

Trying not to let Ukai see the gears that were turning in his head, Ittetsu smiled brightly, and dropped down to deliver a wet kiss to the underside of his dick.  
“One for the road,” he explained to Keishin, and, oh, what a long road it was going to be.  
From his position between his legs, Ittetsu moved his mouth to the sensitive skin of his inner thigh, kissing it softly and sliding his tongue along it.  
“Yeah, that’s good Take-chan.”  
Takeda bristled. He didn’t want to hear “Take-chan” right now, he wanted to hear “sensei”, or “Takeda-sama”.

Not raising his head enough for Ukai to see his expression, he sunk his teeth into the flesh of Keishin’s thigh.   
“Ah,” Keishin protested, and Ittetsu raised his head, eyes wide in feigned innocence.  
“The safe word’s red, right?” he asked, smiling when he saw the flick of recognition in Keishin’s eyes. That he was the one tied up. That he was the one who might have to use the safe word. That Ittetsu was not going to take this as easy on him as he might have expected.

He didn’t know what exactly it was, maybe it was because he’d taken on a little more dominant of a role with Naoi, maybe it was just because he was getting more comfortable with sex, with Ukai, maybe it was something else, but for whatever reason, Ittetsu was very excited to have his brand new boyfriend under him, staring at him, unable to touch him. He hadn’t done much yet, but already he was finding it strangely addictive. He thought he would probably enjoy this a lot.

A sweet, ironically innocent smile appeared on Takeda’s face as he let his fingers drift up from the sharp peaks of Ukai’s hips and up his torso. He brought them back after he reached the base of his ribs, digging into the skin a little deeper with the short nails on his thumbs. Ittetsu noticed the muscles flexing in Ukai’s jaw.  
“Does it hurt?” Ittetsu asked, his fingers settling in the shallows between his pelvic bone.  
“I’m fine,” Keishin responded.

Ittetsu frowned, pinching his skin between his fingers.  
“I didn’t ask if you were fine,” he corrected, twisting the skin until Keishin made a noise, “I asked if it hurt.”  
Ittetsu could see Ukai’s throat move as he swallowed, and all the muscles in his stomach were tense. Ittetsu could clearly see the answer, but he held the skin, waiting for Ukai to respond.   
“It- uh,” Kieshin’s voice was strained, “Yeah, it hurts.”  
Ittetsu watched him for another second before he let go of his skin, then he dropped his head to kiss his skin, where it had turned pink.  
“Good boy.”

Keishin didn’t know exactly what he expected when he agreed to let Ittetsu tie him up, but this was certainly a surprise. He hadn’t expected to be scared, like, scared to the point of arousal, of Takeda Ittetsu.   
Obviously he knew nothing bad would happen. They had a safe word, and he trusted Takeda, and he didn't even have any toys, but still, Ittetsu leaning over him, fully clothed, and in his glasses, with a strange glint in his eye? It was threatening. Intimidating.

The teacher’s hands slipped down between his legs, sliding gently over skin until they came to his balls. Ittetsu lined up his hand, but let his eyes roll back up to watch Keishin’s expression as he flicked out a finger.  
“Fuck,” Keishin cursed, his arms involuntarily clenching and struggling against the restraints.  
“Too much?” Ittetsu asked, a single finger drawing a line up Keishin’s erection, “or, not enough?”  
Keishin didn’t respond with words, he just looked intently at the finger on his dick, then up at the man connected to it.

“Ah, so now you want me to touch it?” he asked, lifting it up with two fingers, “You can’t commit for longer than two seconds, can you, Keishin?”  
Ukai shivered, something about the way Takeda said his given name drove him crazy. Especially when it was coupled with… whatever this was. The ropes, the fingers, the casual, thoughtful tone in which he spoke, the prospect of him actually touching him.

“I could,” Takeda considered, shuffling his knees back on the bed so he could drop his head low, inspecting the cock between his fingers, “I could keep sucking it, like before,” as he said this, Keishin was overtly aware of how close his face was to it, how easy it would be for him to do what he described, “But then, you could change your mind again,” Takeda’s eyes flicked up to Keishin’s, “You’ll say you wished I teased you longer.”

“You can touch me,” Keishin insisted, “I’ll be fine.”  
Takeda’s expression darkened, though his smile remained intact.  
“Oh I can, can I?” he asked, letting go of Keishin’s cock to crawl up the bed towards him, “I don’t know if you forgot, but you’re the one tied up,” he slipped a hand up Keishin’s arm, pulling at his wrist so the restraints dug a little deeper into his flesh, “I can do whatever the fuck I want.”

Keishin huffed a laugh, “You’re really getting into this, aren’t you, Take-chan?”  
“Oh,” Ittetsu smiled, his hips now straddled over Keishin stomach, and reached down to brush his fingers over his hard pink nipple, “and you aren’t?”

Ittetsu pulled his soft T-shirt over his head and threw it across the room, sitting on Keishin’s stomach and drawing a slow hand over his jaw.  
“Did you ever dream about me,” he asked, as his fingers reached Keishin’s earlobe and he ran it over the silver hoops, “When we weren’t seeing each other.”  
Keishin stared up at the now-shirtless Ittetsu sitting at his waist. He wouldn’t be surprised to find out this was a dream, actually. He looked almost too perfect for reality, with his pale skin covered in kiss marks from that morning, and his lopsided glasses still hanging off his nose. If Keishin could take a picture of him he would.

“Once or twice,” he answered, he wasn’t normally the type to remember his dreams, but he did remember waking up a couple mornings with a head full of Ittetsu.  
“I’m offended,” Takeda’s voice was neutral, but he had one of Keishin’s hoops in his fingers and he was slowly tugging it away from his ear, “I dreamt about you almost every night.”  
Takeda now had the earring as far as it would go, and he could see the pain in the coach’s expression, but he made no noise.  
“Even when you were with Naoi?” he asked, instead.

“Especially when I was with Naoi,” Takeda answered, drawing his hand back down Keishin’s face, “You think I wanted to be sleeping with him?” he pinched Keishin’s bottom lips between his index finger and thumb, letting his nails press into the skin as he tugged it out, “I wanted to be with you, Keishin,” his nails dug deeper, and a thin line of blood started to appear against the thumb, “but you wouldn’t have me.”  
He let the lip go and it retook its normal position, now bright red and cut, just slightly. Ittetsu wondered how sensitive it was for half a second before he found himself leaning down to kiss it.

After about a minute, a lot longer than he’d planned, Takeda broke the kiss and climbed off Keishin so he could slide out of his pants. When he retook his position over Keishin’s stomach he was naked, wholly, and his dick was standing, firm in front of him.  
“Suck it,” Ittetsu instructed, moving a couple inches closer so Keishin could reach, “Do it well and I’ll untie you and let you fuck me.”

Keishin flashed a grin up at him, needing no more motivation before he let Ittetsu’s cock slide past his lips and into his warm mouth. Takeda leaned forward, bracing an arm on the headboard, so Keishin could get more of his mouth around it. The coach took the added length happily, his head bobbing over it as his tongue explored every inch. Takeda let out a little whine of pleasure, his free hand grabbing a chunk of Keishin’s hair and yanking it closer to his hips.

Takeda felt Keishin’s lips tighten in what he knew was he knew was an attempted smile.   
“Mmm,” Ittetsu hummed, his eyes fluttering closed as he began to rock into Keishin’s face, “Good boy.”  
By that point Keishin had lost almost all control, and it was Takeda, with his hips steadily moving and his hand in Keishin’s hair holding him more or less still. He had only been doing it for about a minute when he suddenly had the overwhelming desire to feel Keishin’s hands on him. Mostly on his ass. So, he let go of his partner’s hair, slowing but never stopping the rocking of his hips, and reached to untie one of his wrists.

It seemed he and Keishin were thinking very similarly because the second the restraint was released, the free hand shot right to Ittetsu’s asscheek, squeezing as Keishin’s neck picked up the extra work Ittetsu’s hips had fallen back on. Ittetsu had to hold onto the headboard for a second to steady himself, to steady his breathing, to adjust to the overwhelming arousal that came from Keishin’s hands on his body while his dick was in his mouth, before he could move to the next restraint.

He liked having Keishin’s hands on him. He liked having the coach directing him, his movements, his reactions. He’d liked being in control well enough, but he liked handing over that control so much better. Both of Keishin’s hands were soon on Ittetsu’s ass, and they held him tightly in place as he pushed his head closer and closer to Ittetsu’s hips with every thrust, eventually letting it hit the back of his throat as his lips finally found themselves at the base of it.

Ittetsu moaned his name, letting his body straighten over Keishin’s shoulders and his head fall back so his gaze landed on the ceiling, or it would have, if it could focus on anything. Keishin’s fingers barely had to brush over his hole before he was shooting hot cum into his mouth. Ittetsu made a noise, a noise that was meant to be an objection, he didn’t want to cum in Keishin’s mouth, with the diet he’d had today he was sure it must taste awful, but Keishin held him close, hands unmoving from their position on his ass.

When he finally let him go, swallowing what was in his mouth, Keishin smiled brightly up at him.  
“Was I terrible at that?” Ittetsu asked, as he settled down on Keishin’s stomach, “I feel like I was terrible at that.”  
“You were amazing,” Keishin told him, “But I haven’t cum yet and I believe you promised I could fuck you.”  
Ittetsu bit down on a smile and turned to untie his ankles before Keishin could see the blush on his cheeks. He didn’t know why it made him so giddy, but it did. Keishin was just so perfect.

* * *

“Did you actually dream about me?” Keishin asked as they lay in his bed, Ittetsu in nothing more than a pair of Keishin’s cotton boxers and Keishin in an old pair of pyjama pants. Ittetsu’s head was resting in the crook of his arm and Keishin’s hands were playing carefully with his curly hair.  
“Hmm,” Ittetsu hummed, he’d been fucked half asleep and only forced to stay awake so he could brush his teeth and wash the sweat and cum off his body.  
“Like, when you were with Naoi,” Keishin continued, though he knew he should probably just let his boyfriend sleep, “Did you really dream about me?”

Ittetsu made a low grunting noise and stretched a little against Keishin’s chest, forcing himself awake enough to answer the question.  
“I did,” his voice was quiet and calm, “I dreamt about you every night we were in Tokyo.”  
“And you still slept with Naoi?”  
Ittetsu was quiet for a second, then he started to shift, turning himself around to face Keishin, to look at his expression.  
“Yes,” he answered simply, watching Keishin’s expression.  
“Well-”  
“Did you not want me to sleep with Naoi?” Ittetsu interrupted, his voice laced with a little venom that Keishin wasn’t used to, “Because I would have no way of knowing that. You wouldn’t talk to me, remember?”

Keishin swallowed, he had not expected the conversation to go this way. Was Ittetsu mad at him? Was that why he wanted to tie him up? Why he wanted to hurt him?   
“I’m sorry,” Keishin mumbled a tight knot beginning to form in his throat.

“Don’t apologize, I just-” Ittetsu sat up, off Keishin’s chest, and rubbed the last bit of sleep out of his eyes, clearly readying himself for a conversation Keishin already knew he wasn’t going to enjoy, “You never actually told me, um, why you stopped talking to me. Why we stopped sleeping together,” Ittetsu sighed, sinking back onto Keishin’s chest, this time with his arms crossed under him so he could prop himself up to look at his partner, “And, I mean, I was really new to this stuff. Like, really new, and you were the only person I’d ever had, like, that kind of relationship with so I didn’t feel like I could ask and I know I probably shouldn’t have slept with Naoi but-”

Ittetsu averted his eyes, and Keishin saw them glisten a little in the low light of his bedroom. Like there were tears in them. Like Ittetsu might cry. He felt a pool of guilt begin to form in his stomach. He’d thought Ittetsu was having fun with Naoi, he’d thought it was impossible that he’d hurt the teacher’s feelings, that he’d caused him any pain, but of course he had. He was Ukai Keishin, of course he’d hurt the people he loved. 

“I guess maybe I thought,” Ittetsu continued, and Keishin wished he had something to interrupt him with but he couldn’t think of a single thing to say, “I thought that you were having sex with me, um, even though, maybe you didn’t care about me at all,” Keishin felt his gut twist at the idea of Ittetsu thinking that, “So I thought I could have sex with Naoi, even though I didn’t care about him, at all.”  
“I-” Keishin started when he noticed Ittetsu’s gaze on him, though he still had no clue what to say, “I’m really sorry, Ittetsu.”

Ittetsu bit down on his lip, turning his eyes to the wall behind Ukai, and trying not to let enough tears gather that one would fall. He didn't know why he was crying, he hadn't cried in the three weeks when they were apart, well he had once but that was just a general _I am a failure of a human being_ cry, and it was only partially about his relationship with Ukai. Maybe it was because he was so happy now that he was suddenly aware of how unhappy he'd been the past three weeks. 

He'd thought he just wanted Ukai, he just missed the way he kissed him, or the way he grabbed his hair, but it was more than that. He'd missed Ukai. He really liked him and he really cared about him, much more than he'd realised. That was the reason he dreamed about him nearly every night, because his subconscious had known what he didn't. That he'd had feelings for Ukai, the entire time. That he-

"Why, um," Ittetsu made an effort to look at Keishin and ignoring the single tear that escaped his eye when he did, "why did we stop sleeping together?"   
Keishin's hand was on Ittetsu's face the second the year fell, catching it with his thumb and feeling his guilt swirl inside him as it soaked into his skin.  
"I'm sorry," he repeated, "I'm so sorry Ittetsu."  
Ittetsu laughed, the sound a little garbled by the tears at the back of his throat.  
"You already apologized, Keishin," he reminded him, "I just want to know."

"It was stupid," Keishin told him, "it was so stupid and I should have just told you and-"  
"Keishin."  
"I'm sorry," Keishin repeated and Ittetsu wasn't sure if it was in reference to the breakup or the explanation, "I'm, um, I'm just really bad with, like, feelings," it was at this point that Keishin averted his eyes, focusing on the yellow streetlamp outside his window, "and, well, I realised I had feelings for you and I haven't had feeling like that since, um, my ex, and-"  
Ittetsu interrupted him with a light hand on his cheek.  
"That's it?"  
Keishin felt his heart stutter.  
"I told you it was stupid."

Ittetsu smiled, the crinkling of his eyes ironically squeezing two symmetrical tears out of his eyes.  
"That is pretty stupid,” he grinned, pulling Keishin up into a closed-lipped kiss.  
Ittetsu was still smiling when he broke the kiss, and he perched himself back up on his arms, over Keishin’s chest.  
“How badly did your ex fuck you up?” Ittetsu asked after a second.  
“Badly,”’ Keishin answered, “But let’s not talk about that now.”  
“Long story?” Ittetsu asked.  
“Long story,” Keishin agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taking back my rhythm, I'm hoping to wrap the story up soon though, probably not more than 3 or 5 more episodes.


	23. Long Stories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops! I forgot to upload last night!  
> Here's Keishin's backstory I managed to fit it in one episode, lol

Ukai Keishin was 17 the first time he fell in love. He was a few months into his third and final year at Karasuno. It was a girl he’d known since first year, Mura Momoko. They had always been friends. Not excessively close friends, but the kind you stop to talk to if you see them in the halls, the kind you force to play beer pong with you at parties, the kind that you’re glad to see is in your class, but not the kind you’re especially sad to note isn’t.

Keishin hadn’t been half as good at flirting then as he was in his twenties. He wasn’t good at all, in fact, so he rarely even attempted, and in his first two years he saw Momoko only as a friend. In the summer of their third year, though, a group of friends organized a trip to the beach, and he and Momoko had sat by a bonfire one night until it died, talking for hours under the stars. He was completely in love with her by the time the group drove home. It was another two months before Keishin worked up the courage to confess, and luckily she’d had feelings for him since they first met, so they started dating.

They spent the last six months of highschool together, which was long enough, as seventeen year olds, at least, to believe they were soulmates, but Momoko got into UTokyo, and Keishin barely got into college at all.   
“Are you going to go?” Keishin asked her, when she told him about the acceptance letter.  
“Um,” she stalled, nervous to tell him her decision, “Yeah, I think I am, I know that’s-”  
“That’s amazing,” Keishin smiled, interrupting her, “That’s going to be great.”

Keishin didn’t even think of breaking up because of the distance. It wasn’t that far, he thought, and he loved Momoko, more than anything. Obviously he was sad they’d be separated, but they could do it, he thought. They could handle a long-distance relationship. It was the first time he’d ever been in love, and he felt like he could do anything, and he might have been able to. He might have been able to make it work, to stay with Momoko. He might still be with her now, if it wasn’t for the friends he’d made in first year.

The first was his roommate, in his dorm. Matsuyama Koji. Keishin spent a lot of time thinking about what his life might have been if he had never met Matsuyama, if he had been assigned a different roommate, if he’d just not gone to university, but none of that mattered. He went to university, he got assigned a roommate, and that roommate was Matsuyama. He was the first friend Keishin made after highschool, he was the one who introduced Keishin to most of his other university friends.

Matsuyama was cool, or, Keishin thought he was, when they were eighteen. He drank alcohol, smoked weed and cigarettes, he knew where all the parties were, and he knew how to get fake IDs. He was gay, and he was out, which as a mostly closeted bisexual Keishin thought was very impressive, and he kicked Keishin out of the room a full three times in their first week in the dorm to fuck a different guy each time.

The friends they made together, there was a group of about six of them in the end, were all sort of like him. Keishin was the only one in a relationship, but all of them were having consistent sex, or they claimed to be. They went out at least three nights a week, getting drunk enough to at least be hazy on the details the next morning, and all of them were convinced Momoko was cheating on Keishin, or at least they said they were.

“Why else would she want to go to Tokyo so badly?” Matsuyama probed as the six of them sat in his and Keishin’s dorm one day, passing around Matsuyama’s bong, another reason eighteen year old Keishin thought he was so cool.  
“I don’t know,” Keishin tried, “it’s a good school.”  
“Yeah, a good school attended mainly by smart, rich, city boys,” his friend countered.  
“Ooh, and even richer international students,” another friend added.  
“Yeah but she wouldn’t-”  
“Everyone goes crazy in first year,” Matsuyama argued, “That’s why you break up with your high school girlfriend before you come, dumbass.”

Keishin frowned, shifting his attention to the grinder he’d been passed as he opened it to pack himself a bowl.  
“You really think she’s cheating on me?”  
His friends all exchanged a sympathetic look, or maybe it was just meant to look sympathetic.  
Matsuyama placed a hand on Keishin’s shoulder.  
“Bro, she definitely is.”

As an adult, there wasn’t a single time he looked back on this memory and did anything less than physically cringe. At how wrong they’d all been, how likely it was that they all knew that, just how much he was being manipulated into making the stupidest decisions of his life.

It was only October, only one month and a week since Momoko left for Tokyo, when Matsuyama “dragged” Keishin to the gay bar, not for the first time in the last month. They’d already decided dancing was innocent, that it didn’t count as cheating, but dancing with this particular guy, one that Keishin had crossed paths with at multiple parties and events, one that didn’t just accept Keishin’s hands at his sides, one that guided them lower, this felt a little more like something that might upset Momoko.

Guilt twisted in Keishin’s gut as the guy leaned back, grinding his hips into Keishin, but the ideas his friends had put in his head made it hard to accept that guilt. He’d seen visions of Momoko, in other men’s dorms, in communal showers, in the backroom of house parties with darkened lights, and he couldn’t bring himself to take his hands off this pretty boy’s hips. He looked up across the bar at Matsuyama, who was already staring at him, paying no attention to the skinny little thing sucking on his neck.

Keishin could do this, it wasn’t going to be that bad, people did these things all the time, dancing, kissing, sex, cheating; Momoko was probably doing it every night. He let his head hand down a little and ran his tongue over the shell of his ear. The guy made this long low moan in approval, and it was right then that Keishin knew he was going to do it. He was going to cheat on his girlfriend. 

A million thoughts ran through Keishin’s head on his way back to this random guy’s dorm. He told himself his relationship with Momoko was as good as over, that she was no doubt cheating on him that very moment too. He told himself that everyone did this, that this was how university went, that he had done well to hold out for more than a month anyways. He told himself that it didn’t even count as cheating anyway, it was with a guy. That last one made absolutely no sense but he thought it either way. He would think just about anything that meant he could have sex with this man and not feel bad about it.

When they got to the dorm the guy kissed him with a kind of passion and urgency that Keishin had only experienced once before, after their third year winter break, when ha and Momoko had just started having sex and then were forced to be apart for two whole weeks. It was especially urgent because it was after school and clubs, around 5 pm, and Momoko’s parents got home around 6:30. The guy kissed Keishin just like that, and his hand was on Keishin’s cock even faster than his girlfriend’s had been.

A lot of things might have changed the outcome of that year. If he had had one less shot that night, or one less upper, maybe he never would have gone home with him. If a different guy had approached him, if he’d gone home with someone else, maybe he would have regretted it and never done anything like that again. He was drunk, though, and he did go home with that guy, and damn it that guy was good. That guy made it hard to regret anything, the way he made Keishin feel.

When Keishin staggered back into his room around 2 am, Matsuyama was roused awake by his movements, and when he blinked open his eyes his thin smile spread with it.  
“So?” he asked, from his bed, knowing that was all the information he had to provide for Keishin to know what he was talking about.  
Keishin shrugged, trying to suppress his smile.  
“I can’t believe it took you this long, if I’m honest,” Matsuyama continued.  
“I-” Keishin mumbled through his smile, dropping himself on his bed and pulling his shirt over his head, “I think you’re right.”  
“I’m right?” Matsuyama asked.  
“I think I should have done that a lot earlier.”

* * *

Nothing Keishin ever experienced in his life, before or after, had ever come close to the horrendously painful levels of guilt Keishin felt about those four months, and it was four months. Four months of sleeping with friends, acquaintances, strangers, behind his girlfriend’s back. She even came back for two weeks during winter break and Keishin had fucked someone else while she was home. It was so awful, and he’d hardly even felt guilty at the time. He’d only started to feel guilty once Momoko started to figure it out.

When she’d called him once while his cock was in someone’s mouth, and she’d started to ask him where he was every night, and she’d started not quite believing his answers. That was when he would pace his room, late at night when he and Matsuyama would be high and alone.   
“I’m fucking cheating on her,” he worried aloud, as Matsuyama lay flat on the bed, tracking nothing but the ceiling with his eyes, “I’m in love with her and I’m fucking cheating on her.”  
“She’s cheating on you too, bro,” his roommate assured him, “I don’t know why you’re so hung up on it.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Keishin shouted, “It doesn’t fucking matter if she’s cheating on me I said I was in love with her and I’m fucking other people.”  
“Look, you’re not actually in love with her, though, right?”  
Keishin’s eyes darted between Matsuyama and his floor, sinking onto his bed as his hands burying into his hair, “I- I don’t fucking know, I _was_.”  
“Just breakup with her,” Matsuyama urged, and it wasn’t until years later that Keishin realised why the guy had actually told him that, “You should’ve done that before you graduated, Ukai-kun.”  
“I can’t believe I’m cheating on her.”  
“It’s fine,” Matsuyama insisted, “Stop freaking out dude.”

Keishin tried to stop freaking out, but he couldn’t, and it was only another two weeks before Momoko realised what was happening. Before he was caught. Keishin had two more months of his first year of university, but he barely left his room for the rest of the time, incapacitated by grief and regret. His friends were sympathetic, and let him sit out when they went out to too big parties, where he might see someone he’d fucked while dating his girlfriend, but only for so long.

By the time they all returned to around campus for second year, most of them now living in small shitty apartments instead of dorms, they started expecting Keishin to start showing up again. To drink. To flirt. He had a lot of trouble getting through that year, but Matsuyama was always there, telling him he knew exactly what he did, and he still loved him. There to serve as a reminder that Keishin would never be completely unlovable.

They were just friends, or Keishin thought they were, Matsuyama was exclusively a top and at that point Keishin identified as “straight”, and for some unknown and no doubt stupid reason, he’d thought bottoming was gayer than any other sex position. So, Keishin thought, they couldn’t have sex, so no sexual tension, so no romantic tension. It was simple. So yes, Matsuyama was important to him, and yes, he had poisoned his last relationship and now was helping him getting over the breakup, but it was platonic. Completely platonic.

It was more than two years after the breakup, partway through their third year, the first time Matsuyama’s long fingers first unlatched Keishin’s belt, it was a night they’d been drinking, and Matsuyama had been hinted he wanted to suck Keishin’s dick. Getting your dick sucked was, in a young Keishin’s mind, just about the least gay thing you could do with a guy, certainly nothing like bottoming. Plus Keishin had gotten more than used to casual sex, to doing things that weren’t going to matter with people he didn’t think anything about.

Matsuyama was the same as Keishin then, having sex with whoever was willing that night, not worrying about what it meant the next morning. When a mutual’s friend’s birthday party was ending, and they had both had more than enough to drink, and it looked like they were both going home alone, too, a quick, meaningless blowjob seemed like nothing, like the sensible thing to do.

It didn’t take too long to grow from that. To grow from a little oral, now and then, when someone was especially horny, to a little more mutual things, more, _sex-like_. They’d been high on… god only knows what, the night that Keishin first agreed to try bottoming for Matsuyama. He had recently realised he wasn’t straight, that straight guys didn’t fuck dudes in the ass once a week, so he was going to try it, just once, see how it felt. Matsuyama made it sound like he could make it feel pretty good. Keishin was just going to see if he liked it, and then, if he did, he and Matsuyama would know their options.

Keishin liked it, much more than he’d hoped. Much more than he might have needed to like it to agree to do it again.

“Have you ever considered dating a man, Keishin?” Matsuyama wondered aloud one day, as Keishin sat at the edge of his bed, trying to work up the energy to be able to stand in his friend’s shower for long enough to wash the strong smell of sex off his body.  
They were in fourth year the first time they’d had penetrative sex, and by this time, the time when they were used to it, comfortable with it, it was only about six months until the end of their degrees.

“What, like, boyfriends? Feelings? Flowers? Falling in love?”  
Matsuyama smirked at Keishin’s cynical attitude, “Yeah, like falling in love.”  
Ukai scoffed, finally pushing himself up off the side of the mattress, “I thought the point of dudes was you didn’t have to worry about stuff like that. Why?” He raised a careful eyebrow, “Have you thought of stuff like that?”  
“Um, yeah,” Matsuyama laughed, as if the question ought to be rhetorical, “I had my first crush on a boy when I was twelve, I’ve been dreaming of a boyfriend since middle school.”

Keishin had blushed, he’d really always thought of his attraction to men as a fun little college experiment, or a dirty little rebellious secret from his parents. He had never really thought of falling in love with a man, of having a relationship. He thought to actually do that would be insane. It was crazy for Keishin to see Matsuyama so open about wanting just that. About _dreaming_ of it.

“You don’t, like,” Keishin waited near the edge of the bed, overthinking too much to take a step, “want to date _me_ , do you?”  
Matsuyama laughed, shifting himself up onto his elbows to look at his friend.  
“I don’t know, I think as far as boyfriends go I could do a lot worse than you.”  
Keishin faked a laugh, “You watched me cheat on Momoko for all of first year, why would you think that?”  
“Because I know you, Keishin,” Matsukawa had said, sternly, “I know you’re a good person.”

Keishin wasn’t ready to start dating again, at that point, and even if he was Matsuyama was certainly not the person he should have been dating, but hearing those words? Hearing those words from someone he trusted, someone he really, truly thought knew his worst sides, and could see him for what he really was, it made Keishin lose a little of his control. He wanted them to be true more than anything. That after everything he did, he was still a good person.

It was hard, he’d been mostly emotionless, not even trying to date for over three years at that point, but Matsuyama was one of the closest friends he’d ever had, they did everything together, Keishin trusted him, he respected him, and once the prospect was on the table, it wasn’t long before Keishin started developing feelings for him. They decided to finally try a relationship only two months before their graduation, and even though he was constantly worried, constantly terrified that he was going to break Matsuyama’s heart, just like he had Momoko’s, Keishin tried to trust himself, tried to let himself fall in love.

And he did. He did fall in love, hard. They moved in together after university, which might have been expected, I mean, they lived in dorms together in first year, they were close friends for four years, the only thing that made it significant was they only had one bedroom. They were together for a full year after that, and though sometimes Keishin felt it was all too much pressure, too much work, he stuck to it, he was committed to Matsuyama, and eventually he found himself hoping they could stay like that, hoping they could stay together for as long as they possibly could. 

He’d killed himself with guilt and grief about his first relationship, but Matsuyama showed Keishin he could love again, and he could be in a real relationship. He could fall in love and stay in love and be with someone, one person, for the rest of his life, if he wanted.

“Yeah, but um,” Keishin finished, as he and Ittetsu picked at what was left of the massive breakfast he’d made them, “he was cheating on me the entire time. Childhood friend, the first crush he’d ever had. I actually used to leave the apartment when he came over, because Matsuyama said it was important for us to _have lives outside of each other_ or something, and they were fucking the entire time. They got married last year, I guess.”

Ittetsu blinked over at him, across the table, “What the fuck?”


	24. Boyfriends

“Suga?” Daichi asked, confirming his best friend was beside him, because he couldn’t get his head to turn.  
“Oh, I see it,” Sugawara assured him, “I definitely see it.”

Across the schoolyard, by the sinks, Takeda was shrieking laughter as he ran from Ukai, who had a massive smile across his face as he sprayed the teacher with a squeeze water bottle.  
“Keishin, stop,” Takeda giggled, “It’s too cold!”

“I thought you said he was fucking the Nekoma coach,” Asahi said as he joined the other two third years at the door to the gym.  
“He was,” Suga defended, prying his eyes off the scene in front of them to look at his friends, show them how serious he was, “He definitely was, I swear to god.”  
“Then…” Daichi prompted, waiting for someone to elaborate.

They watched as Ukai pulled Takeda into a headlock, pouring a stream of cold water over his head. Takeda squirmed in his arm, as the cold water dripped through his hair and down his face. He squealed in protest, grabbing Ukai’s arm and commanding he release him, though the seriousness of his argument was undercut by the way he giggled between each word. Ukai was grinning behind him, and held him tight despite his squirming.

“Damn, I wouldn’t have thought Takeda had it in him,” Asahi considered.  
“Honestly, respect,” Sugawara added, “Ukai’s kind of hot.”  
“Suga!” Daichi scolded.  
“You think they’re together?” Asahi asked, before Suga could get himself more in trouble with Daichi, “Like, you think they’re dating or just…”  
He didn’t have to finish the question, it was clear to all three of them that they were having sex, at the very least.  
“I don’t know,” Daichi considered, “They look pretty, you know, in love.”  
“In _love_?” Suga teased, ruffling a hand in Daichi’s hair, “You’re such a romantic.”  
“What? Don’t they look like they’re in love?”

By that point Ukai had taken off his hoodie and was using it to dry his boyfriend’s dripping wet head. Takeda poked him once in the ribs as he did it, as retribution for the attack.   
“I can’t believe you,” Ittetsu mumbled from under the jacket, “I have to go to work after this, remember?”  
“Aww,” Keishin grinned, rubbing the hoodie harder into Ittetsu’s hair, “You’re just mad we’re at school so you can’t kiss me.”  
“I could,” Ittetsu challenged, pushing the hoodie up out of his face like a veil, “I could kiss you right now if I wanted to.”  
“You wouldn’t,” Keishin grinned, leaning closer to him.

Ittetsu’s expression was determined as his eyes flicked between Keishin’s eyes and his lips, as if he was at the edge of a ledge, judging how likely it was he could jump to the other side. His face was covered by the hoodie, and Keishin’s was half covered too, there was a chance he could kiss him without anyone even seeing what had happened. And, if someone did see, he probably couldn’t actually get in that much trouble. It was before school hours, he was technically off the clock, Keishin wasn’t technically employed by the school, there was very little they could get in serious trouble for. For a second Ittetsu almost thought he would do it.

“You’re right,” Ittetsu announced instead, taking the hoodie off his head and throwing it at his boyfriend, “I can’t”  
Keishin bit on his smile, but Ittetsu could still see it, and he wouldn’t have expected anything else. He was sure the coach would have been happy if he’d kissed him, but being right was just as much fun.

He followed Ittetsu to the gym, his now half-emptied water bottle swinging in his hand. The three third-years parted at the door, trying obviously to avoid eye contact. It was clear to Keishin that they had been talking about them, and it must be equally clear to Takeda, given how red the tips of his ears were burning. If there was one less eye on them, Keishin might have ran his finger over it, silently teasing the teacher for his intense reaction.

It was crazy, relationships were supposed to kill sexual tension, or that’s what he told himself when he was single. Somehow, though, even when they were sleeping together every night and most mornings, Keishin found it hard to keep his hands off Ittetsu for the small fraction of time they spent out, when they couldn’t touch each other. It wasn’t even that they were trying exceptionally hard to hide it, it was just, even if everyone knew, it would never be appropriate for Keishin to touch Ittetsu as much as he wanted to.

He spent at least half of their practice time over the first week they were together doing nothing but staring at his boyfriend. He was just so fun to stare at. It didn’t help that everytime Ittetsu caught him staring he would do this adorable little smile and avert his eyes, giving Keishin permission to keep staring. Before they were together he wasn’t allowed to stare at him, and he still found it hard to stop. Now he was allowed to look, and he was supposed to just, not? It was impossible.

When they had those rare moments when they were unseen, when he could get away with it, Keishin always took advantage to brush his knuckle, or run his fingers over his shoulder, and it was all so _fucking tame_ but it was all so _fucking intense_. He felt like a character in some shitty period piece drama his mom would stay up late watching, where they replay the _accidental hand touch when reaching for the tea_ scene fifteen times before they can move on with the plot. 

It was so out of character for him to feel this out of control. Normally sexual tension was something he had no trouble navigating, maneuvering in his favour, but suddenly Ittetsu was making him sweat. He could remember the first time Ittetsu put his hands around his neck and he realised this guy could make Keishin just as desperate as Keishin made him. And they loved it, and it was absolute torture. Most days, when they got into Ittetsu’s car and he drove them to either one of their apartments, they didn’t even make it halfway before Keishin’s hand was on Ittetsu’s thigh and he was doing things that could hardly be considered road safe.

“Keishin,” Ittetsu warned one time, as the hand crept over to him during a red light.  
“I haven’t touched you all day.”  
“You came in my ass this morning,” Ittetsu countered, but Keishin just squeezed at his thigh.  
“That was this morning,” Keishin groaned, “That was almost twelve hours ago.”  
“You’re insatiable,” Ittetsu remarked.  
“God I love when you talk like a teacher.”  
“Keishin,” Ittetsu repeated in a tone of disapproval.  
“Uh, yeah, just like that, sensei,” he groaned in over exaggerated arousal, but his hand really did slip over Ittetsu’s dick, lightly.  
“You’re such a slut, Ukai,” Ittetsu tutted.  
“Eyes on the road!” the coach commanded, rubbing a little harder on Ittetsu’s cock, “The light’s green, god Takeda.”

He smiled as he watched Takeda turn his focus to the road, attempting to ignore the hand between his legs so he could focus on driving, before leaning close to speak again, “And you’ve got some nerve calling me a slut when you’re half-hard already.”  
Takeda made an involuntary noise, a gasping sound, when Keishin wrapped his hand around the beginning of an erection in Takeda’s pants. This only encouraged the coach, and he dragged his hand along the length of it.

“Keishin, I’m driving,” Ittetsu managed, not taking his eyes off the road.  
“What?” Keishin asked, tugging at the button of his slacks, “Afraid we’ll get pulled over?”  
“Afraid we’ll get in a car accident, more like.”  
“Ah, I trust you, you won’t kill us,” Keishin smiled as his hand paused on the zipper, “But, if you want me to stop of course I will.”  
Ittetsu took a long, shivering breath and bit his lip, and Keishin had fucked the man enough times to know the look. The _don’t make me actually say how horny I am right now_ look.

Keishin still didn’t move, and Ittetsu sort of squirmed.  
“We really shouldn’t,” Ittetsu mumbled.  
“Well, I won’t until you tell me you want me to,” Keishin repeated, his hand still not moved a single inch.  
“Fuck, Keishin,” Ittetsu whined.  
“Say it,” Ukai repeated.  
“Ugh, ok, fine, I want you to jack me off while I’m driving.”  
“You want me to suck you off?”  
“What the fuck Keishin, I will crash this damn car.”  
“Ok, ok,” an amused smile twitched at Ukai’s lips, “No road head.”

“We’re only, like, ten minutes from my apartment anyway.”  
“Oh yeah, you think you can last ten minutes?” Keishin laughed, finally moving his hand to drag down the zipper.  
“That’s not that long,” Takeda objected, “How horny do you think I am?”  
“I think you probably dream of my cock when you’re teaching.”  
“Keishin!” Ittetsu scolded, and then, as Ukai finally uncovered his cock and got his hand around it, skin on skin, he let out another, breathier, softer, “Oh, Keishin.”  
“If we didn’t need to work to like, you know, make money, I would fuck you every minute of every day. I would wear your ass like an accessory.”  
“What the hell does that mean,” Ittetsu snapped, his hands gripping harder at the steering wheel as he tried to maintain his focus on the road, “And why the hell do I want it so badly.”  
“I’m so glad you’re my boyfriend.”  
Takeda whimpered, as Keishins hand started to move over him, “Oh, I’m the one that’s grateful.”

“When we get home,” Keishin whispered, though they were the only ones in the car, “I’m going to fuck you until your legs give out for the rest of the day.”  
“Mmm,” Ittetsu agreed, his hips unconsciously flexing forward into Keishin’s hand, “But we can’t,” he mumbled, “We have that, mmm, that dinner.”  
“Oh, fuck,” Keishin griped, before turning his head as he noticed Ittetsu stopping at another red light, “we’re not moving, can I suck you off?”  
Ittetsu’s eyes flitted over to him, “Keishin.”

It wasn’t a no. It certainly wasn’t a no, and Ittetsu knew very well how to say no, so Keishin dropped his body across the car and let his boyfriend’s cock slide between his lips, hurriedly. Normally he could take his time, but the red light wouldn’t last forever, and there were a couple things he wanted to accomplish before it went green again. He took Ittetsu as deep as he could, the strange angle caused by the car making him gag before he could reach the end of it, then he sucked in his cheeks and dragged up over him. He swirled his tongue once over the head before letting the cock out of his mouth with a _pop_ and sitting up just in time to see the intersection clear before the next green.

“Ugh, why did we ever agree to that stupid dinner,” Keishin complained, picking up the conversation as if nothing ever happened, his hand now sliding over Ittetsu even easier with the added lubrication of his spit.  
Ittetsu was a little busy steadying his breath as the car ahead of him pulled into the intersection and he carefully took his foot off the brake. He had his lower lip between his teeth and it was turning white with how hard he was biting down on it, his eyes locked on the cars in front of him. Maybe Keishin really should lay off him, maybe they really would get into a car accident, or maybe it would all be fine, and Keishin could keep touching him. He liked that idea better.

“I’m excited for dinner,” Ittetsu finally managed, when he regained control over his breath after that unexpected blowjob, “I’m excited to meet you friends.”  
“Eh, you’ve met them already,” Keishin dismissed, his attention mostly focused on the spit-slick cock in his hand, “I only have two friends.”  
“Yeah but,” Ittetsu sank a little his his seat as a shiver rolled up his spine, but he managed to keep his eyes on the road and his mind on their meaningless conversation, “Now I’m meeting them as your boyfriend.”  
“Hmm,” Keishin considered, his thumb slipping over Ittetsu’s head to catch some of the precum that was forming there, “As my boyfriend, I like that.”

“Ah, Keishin,” Ittetsu whimpered, and Ukai could tell he would be closing his eyes if he could, if he wasn’t currently in traffic. He absently wondered whether the teacher was able to focus his eyes right now, because if Ukai wasn’t imagining it, his pupils looked about twice their normal size.  
“I can’t believe I can’t fuck you until tonight,” Keishin grumbled, as he started jerking Takeda off with a rhythm, “How am I going to control myself.”  
Ittetsu bit off a curse, his hips jumping a little as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel again. Keishin smiled.  
“I guess both of us have some trouble controlling ourselves.”

Ittetsu didn’t respond, his body naturally twitching as he attempted to keep his focus. His eyes flicked once to Ukai and there was another curse on his breath when he turned them back to the road. When they made it to the next red light Takeda folded his arms across the steering wheel and braced his head against them, his breath coming in heavy pants as Keishin’s hand continued to pump over him.  
“This was a bad idea,” Takeda huffed, “I’m gonna cum.”  
“You want me to suck it again?”  
He didn’t need to, the question alone was enough stimulation, and Ittetsu convulsed against the steering wheel, cum spilling over Ukai’s hand and into his lap. When he brought his head back up and blinked against the bright light outside the window, the light was already threatening to turn green. Ittetsu straightened his back and firmly grasped the wheel. He was not going to let Keishin do that again.

* * *

When they got to Ittetsu’s apartment, they barely had time for him to change his stained pants before they had to head back out, they were supposed to meet Shimada and Takinoue at the restaurant by 6:30. When Keishin mentioned, a few days after they started going out, that he’d told them Ittetsu didn’t know how to react. He hadn’t really thought of it, of keeping it a secret or of telling anyone, mostly because he had no one to tell. He had always been insanely busy with work, so he’d never had many friends, and there wasn’t a single person in his life except Ukai and Naoi that knew he was gay. Who would he be able to tell about his new boyfriend?

Keishin did have people to tell, though, and Ittetsu was relieved to hear they were on his side, they were happy the two of them were together, they weren’t going to try and guard Keishin’s heart from him or something. After hearing Keishin explain what had happened with his exes, with that fucking asshole Matsuyama expecially, Ittetsu was hyper aware of how exactly he was treating his boyfriend. He had always known Keishin was a little emotionally distant, but he didn’t realise the kind of trauma that had caused it. Ittetsu definitely didn’t want to step on his toes as he recovered from that.

Honestly, though, the fact that he was meeting Keishin’s friends, even though he’d met them a few times at practices, at games, even if they were in the bar the first night Ukai kissed him, it felt significant. It felt like a big deal. There would be people that would know about their relationship, that would think of him, refer to him, as Ukai’s boyfriend. And they were people that had known Keishin since he was in highschool. It just felt like they were actually in a relationship. Ittetsu wasn’t sure if his heart was racing because he was excited or because he was nervous, but both were true.

He reached to grab his keys off the kitchen counter as he returned to his front door.  
“Nuh-uh,” Keishin shook his head, placing a hand over Ittetsu’s on the keys, “You’re going out with me, Yuusuke, and Shimada, you’re not driving.”  
“Oh are we drinking?”   
Keishin laughed, “What, you thought we were just gonna sit around eating sashimi and drinking green tea?”  
“What? Would that be so ridiculous?”  
Keishin bit back on a smile, adjusting Ittetsu’s glasses and pressing a kiss on his forehead, “You adorable little old man.”

When they arrived at the restaurant, Ittetsu quickly understood what Keishin meant. It was definitely the kind of place Ittetsu frequented much more in university than now, at the ripe age of 29. Shimada and Takinoue were sitting at a low table, huge pints of beer in front of both of them, and a basket of fried chicken between them.  
“Takeda-san!” they cheered as the couple walked in.  
“Wow, nothing for your lifelong friend, then?” Keishin complained.  
“Sorry, Takeda’s boyfriend,” Yuusuke grinned, “I didn’t see you there.”

Ittetsu laughed as he took a seat beside them, Keishin falling in beside him. His heart fluttered a little at the phrase “Takeda’s boyfriend”. He didn’t know how often he’d hear that one. His heart also fluttered when Keishin’s arm slipped around him in the booth. These people knew they were together, which meant they were allowed to touch, which would take some getting used to. He allowed himself to settle into the touch and watched Keishin flag down a waiter and order for both of them.

“You should have seen this guy,” Yuusuke started, leaning over the table and nodding his head in Keishin’s direction, “Not two weeks ago, _Takeda’s too good for me_ , _Takeda will never love me_ , next thing we hear, _hey, want to go out for drinks with me and Takeda_.”  
“Not true,” Keishin barked, “They invited me for drinks, Ittetsu, I would never initiate something like this.”  
Shimada tossed a rolled up napkin at his friend and Ittetsu laughed again.  
“Were you really that torn up about me?”   
Keishin made a face and shook his head, like it was ridiculous.  
“He was a mess,” Shimada grinned, “I think he might be a little obsessed.”

Keishin groaned as Ittetsu turned a bright smile on him, “Yuusuke, tell me you have cigarettes.”  
“Didn’t you say you were quitting?” Ittetsu asked.  
“Get used to that, Takeda-san,” Yuusuke teased, “He threatens to quit about twice a year. Never goes through with it though.”  
“No!” Keishin objected, “This wasn’t one of those, this was supposed to be a declaration of love thing.”  
“What?” Ittetsu slapped his hands on the table and turned to him, “You didn’t tell me that.”  
“You were supposed to make a bigger deal about it. I was gonna be like _oh, yeah, I think I’m gonna stop smoking_ and you were supposed to be like _for me?_ and then I was gonna be like _well, I don’t know I guess I’m just really happy_ ,” Keishin explained, casually acting out the individual lines, “But you didn’t even notice.”

The whole table stared at him, blinking simultaneously. The waiter came with Ittetsu and Keishin’s drink and the three men just continued staring at the coach.  
“That was, like, super lame man,” Yuusuke warned.  
“I was physically uncomfortable listening to you describe that,” Shimada added.  
“Yeah, I mean,” Ittetsu frowned at him, “I think I’d rather you smoke than talk about that ever again.”  
“What the fuck?” Keishin yelped, withdrawing his hand from Ittetsu’s back “So mean.”  
“I’m joking, I’m joking,” Ittetsu squealed, wrapping his arm around Keishin’s to keep it from moving away.  
“I’m not,” said Yuusuke, and Shimada nodded in agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure I'm only going to do one more episode, and I'm not sure if I'll get it out in two days but probably soon. Can't believe it's over (T~T)
> 
> but also kinda glad... I have three midterms next week


	25. Lovers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took my time on the update, but this is the last chapter, so I wanted it to be good!  
> It's also more than twice as long as my normal chapters so, enjoy!

It was only after four hours, and many, many drinks, when they emerged from the pub. Keishin and Yuusuke each smoked a cigarette on the sidewalk outside while Ittetsu and Shimada were locked in a drunken debate about whether Yamaguchi and Tsukishima were together, or if it was just one of those weird, homo-romantic, codependent friendships that everyone has at their age. That discussion actually launched Takeda into some deep introspection about his best friend from middle school, Kamimura Yuuji, and Keishin and Yuusuke lit up a second cigarette as he described their friendship in detail, asking if it sounded as gay to them as it suddenly appeared to Ittetsu.

They’d been standing out on that sidewalk long enough that the pub’s manager came to shoo them off before Yuusuke and Shimada started heading down the block to their apartment, leaving Keishin and Ittetsu to call a cab. Ittetsu tilted his head and watched their friends disappear down the road, his hand creeping up to his boyfriend’s jacket. When they were far enough it could be assumed they wouldn’t turn around again, Ittetsu pulled hard on Keishin’s collar, dragging him into a kiss. Keishin didn’t hesitate, sliding a hand around Ittetsu’s waist as the other one cupped his ass.

Ittetsu laughed without moving away, instead wrapping his hands around Keishin’s neck and pulling himself even closer. They were both panting when they finally broke apart.  
“What was that for?” Keishin asked.  
“That was excruciating,” Ittetsu sighed.  
“What, hanging out with my friends?” Keishin asked, mock-offended.  
“No,” Ittetsu hummed, letting his hands drag down from Keishin’s neck to his chest, “Sitting next to you all that time, getting progressively drunker, not being able to kiss you.”  
“Excruciating, huh?” Keishin smiled.  
Ittetsu nodded, “Now, my place or yours?”

“Over a week together and I’ve only slept one night alone,” Keishin muttered, as he took out his phone to call a taxi.  
“Yeah, I’m getting this weird thing in my neck,” Ittetsu griped, rubbing the back of his neck to demonstrate.  
“I fell asleep at the store counter the other day,” Keishin added, “A customer had to wake me up so she could pay for her snacks. All because _someone_ ,” he poked his fingers into Ittetsu’s waist, “Is keeping me up until 3 am every night.”  
The two of them stared at each other for a minute.  
“So mine?” Keishin finally asked.  
“Yeah, I’m good with yours.”

Keishin was punching in the number of a taxi company when Ittetsu caught one on it’s way down the street, waving himself potentially a little too far into traffic to flag its attention. Keishin grabbed him by the back of his collar, holding him back from the passing cars.  
“You really can’t hold your liquor, can you?”  
“Say thank you, Kei-chan, I got us a taxi.”  
“Kei-chan?” Ukai wasn’t sure if he had heard the nickname right or if the teacher had just slurred his name past recognition.  
“Kei-chan,” Ittetsu repeated, stepping forward and tapping Keishin on the nose as the taxi pulled against the curb behind him, “I think it suits you.”

Keishin laughed, pulling open the taxi door behind his boyfriend, and helping him lower himself in.  
“You can call me whatever you like, Takeda-san,” he smiled, following him into the cab and pulling the door closed behind them.  
“Aw, but I like when you tell me what to do,” Ittetsu hummed, a hand settling on Keishin’s leg.  
“I can’t believe you let me kiss you,” Keishin started to mutter, dropping his head towards Ittetsu’s ear and ignoring the look the taxi driver was giving them in the rear view mirror, “I can’t believe I’m allowed to touch you.”  
“Allowed?” Ittetsu asked, his hand slowly beginning their slow teasing trail over Keishin’s body, “You’re expected to,” when he looked up his eyes were still half-hooded, but he smirked at Keishin playfully, “Why do you think I keep you around?”

Keishin had a response on the tip of his tongue, about how more than willing he was to be Ittetsu’s boytoy, but he was cut off by a cough from the front of the cab.  
“I’m sorry, I need an address,” the taxi driver, interrupted.  
Keishin and Ittetsu looked at each other, the shadow of a laugh flickering over their lips, their eyes.  
“You know Sakanoshita Market?” Keishin tried to say it without laughing. He wondered how long until someone he knew came to him, having heard a rumour Sakanoshita’s kid was making out with guys in the backs of taxis. It didn’t concern him though, he’d lived through rumours before, and the man in front of him mattered more than the opinions of strangers.

“When we get to your place, I’m having a popsicle.”  
“A popsicle?” Keishin asked.  
“They’re the best when you’re drunk,” Ittetsu swore, “If I lived above a convenience store I would eat popsicles every day.”  
“Well, I’ll guess we’ll see,” Keishin mumbled.  
“Huh?”  
“If you live above a convenience store one day,” Keishin explained.  
Ittetsu sat in silence for a moment, his tipsy brain trying to understand how he would ever end up living above a market like that, and why Keishin seemed so sure of it, before he realised what he was saying and his heart did some kind of fancy gymnastics.

“Yeah,” Ittetsu murmured, nuzzling his face into Keishin’s jacket, mostly to hide the pink blush on his cheeks, “I guess we’ll see.”  
“Mmm,” Keishin hummed happily into Ittetsu’s hair, “I love you.”  
Ittetsu’s insides felt warm, and he buried himself further into Keishin’s clothes. He shouldn’t say it drunk, right? He should wait until the right time. He didn’t ever want to regret it. He didn’t ever want to regret anything with Keishin.

* * *

They went in the front door of Sakanoshita market, which Ittetsu found interesting to do at night, when the normally automatic door had to be pried open with hands, and when the whole shop was lit only by the old yellow lamps of the fridges and freezers. Ittetsu dragged Keishin to the one in the back corner, as if it was his store instead of Ukai’s. He slid open the plexiglass lid and let the cold air wash over him, excitedly reaching for the same original Melona he’d been eating since he was seven years old.

“Melona?” Keishin grinned, “That’s your food fantasy? Melona? You really are an old man.”  
Ittetsu ignored him, grabbing one of the mango flavour for Keishin before sliding down onto the tile of the store.  
“You’ll shut up once you taste it,” Ittetsu said confidently, peeling the wrapper of the already sticky popsicle, “When you’re drunk and dehydrated, there’s nothing like it.”  
He slipped the thing between his lips, drawing his mouth over it and letting the heat of it melt the top layer into something smooth, sticky and sweet, and then sucking it clean. Keishin repressed the urge to openly stare, reconsidering his stance on Melona. Ittetsu just made it look so damn good.

As Keishin looked down to rip the wrapping off his own treat, he heard the wet pop of Ittetsu pulling the popsicle from his mouth and immediately looked up, cursing himself for missing the actual action but pleased to see the aftermath, Ittetsu still had the thing resting on his tongue, his saliva stringing from his parted lips to the tip of the popsicle, and a bit of his hot breath turning to stream for a second as it swirled over it. If Ittetsu liked popsicles this much, how had he never seen this before. Next summer, he would be bringing his boyfriend at least one of these a day.

“What?” Ittetsu asked, as he noticed Keishin’s pointed staring, “Are you being a pervert?”  
“Would you really expect anything else?” Keishin grinned, before pushing his own popsicle into his mouth, bringing his lips as low on the sweet as they could go before he would have to tilt his head back to make room for it in the back of his throat.  
“You little devil,” Ittetsu smiled, waiting until the popsicle was out of Keishin’s mouth so he could bring their lips together, the honeydew and mango mixing on their tongues, overwhelming the bitter taste of the beer they had been drinking earlier.  
“Oh and you’re some kind of angel?” Keishin teased as they broke apart, his eyes inadvertently following the drag of Ittetsu’s tongue across his ice pop. If the action alone wasn’t meant to answer Keishin’s question the look in his eyes certainly was. He was no angel, not even close.

“What am I going to do,” Keishin leaned forward onto his free arm, forgetting about his popsicle for a minute as he stared into Ittetsu’s eyes, “I get more obsessed with you every day.”  
Ittetsu didn’t move forward to meet Keishin’s lips, calmly leaning back against the freezer and slowly drawing over Keishin’s lips with the end of his popsicle instead, lulling them open so he could press the popsicle inside and watching contentedly as Keishin’s tongue played with it.  
“Well you’ll just have to keep me around I guess.”  
There was a sound like a kiss when Takeda pulled his Melona from Keishin’s mouth and replaced it in his.  
“Trust me,” Keishin smiled, remembering his own popsicle and raising it back to his mouth, “I plan to.”

Their little popsicle routine only lasted about another minute, before Keishin had Ittetsu backed up against the freezer, pinning him to it with a kiss. One of Ittetsu’s hands travelled adventurously up Ukai’s neck, into his hair, while the other one kept his popsicle off the ground, as if there was any chance he would be able to stop kissing his boyfriend for long enough to finish it some time that night. When it finally melted enough to fall off its stick onto the white tile beneath it, they decided it was time to move upstairs, and Ittetsu started to shower as Keishin cleaned up the melted green mess.

When Ittetsu heard the bathroom door open over the sound of the spraying water, he felt himself buzz with excitement.  
“You joining me?” he asked into the room.  
“It’s good for the environment,” Keishin answered with a shrug as he pulled back the polyester curtain.  
“You know, you can just say you want to see me naked,” Ittetsu grinned, his hands immediately gravitating to Keishin’s hips the second he stepped into the tub, “I won’t be mad.”  
“Yeah, I don’t think your ego needs the extra boost,” Keishin teased, a hand quickly dropping to Ittetsu’s ass and a finger or two slipping up between his cheeks. They had this to a rhythm now, Ittetsu taking his dick regularly enough that he hardly needed any preparation any more.

“My ego?” Ittetsu half-muttered, moving himself closer to Keishin, as if by instinct, “I don’t think I’ve been accused of having an ego before.”  
“Oh yeah?” Keishin grinned, pressing his index finger gently into Ittetsu, and feeling him spread easily to accommodate it, “Mr. _why do you think I keep you around?_ ”  
“Hmm,” Ittetsu considered, even as his eyes started to take on that sort of hazy look they got when his ass was being played with, “I guess you bring it out of me.”  
“Well thank god for my influence,” Keishin grinned, pulling Ittetsu even closer as he plunged his finger deeper inside him, basking in the sound of Ittetsu’s high moan over the hiss of the hot shower.

“I think I’m clean enough,” Ittetsu decided, even though he’d only really got halfway through his routine.  
“Of course,” Keishin smiled, free hand cradling his boyfriend’s neck to pull him into a kiss, “let’s get you to bed, shall we?”

* * *

Ittetsu rolled over in his sleep, an immediate unconscious response to the warmth and comfort of Keishin’s body behind him suddenly being withdrawn. When his arm extended all the way to the end of the bed without making contact with his boyfriend he groaned and started to blink his eyes half-open. The remnants of sleep kept his eyes from opening fully and he was nowhere near ready to put on his glasses, so the room was a bit of a blur, but he could clearly make out Keishin in the corner of the room getting dressed.  
“What time is it?” Ittetsu grumbled, because the sky outside the window was still grey with the low light of dawn.  
“Too early,” Keishin responded, walking back towards the bed when he finished pulling on his socks, “I have to open the store. You,” he reached Ittetsu’s side and gently dragged his fingers across his temple, brushing into his short hair, “have to go back to sleep.”

“Can’t your mom open the store?” Ittetsu griped, his eyes fluttering comfortably shut as Keishin’s fingers weaved through his hair, “I won’t be able to sleep without you.”  
“Brat,” Keishin announced as he withdrew his hand, leaving Ittetsu blinking grumpily up at him, “I can’t call my mom to work just so I can be your personal body pillow.”  
“You can,” Ittetsu corrected, his eyes instinctively tracking Keishin’s ass as he walked back towards his dresser to finish changing, “You just won’t.”  
Keishin flashed a smile over his shoulder, as if to say, _you got it_ and Ittetsu swaddled himself deeper into his blankets, making a little grunt in disapproval.

Keishin finished dressing himself, Ittetsu’s eyes on him the entire time, before he returned to the side of the bed.  
“Just go back to sleep, babe,” Keishin repeated, bending down to press a kiss on Ittetsu’s forehead, “I’ll see you at morning practice.”  
The teacher frowned and gave Keishin a dirty look from under the covers, but he didn’t object this time.  
“Oh, and I washed the clothes you left here on Friday,” Keishin continued as he straightened himself upright again, “They’re on top of the dresser if you want to wear them today.”

Ittetsu’s eyes flicked to the piece of furniture in the corner, as if there was any way he’d be able to see a small pile of clothes that far away with eyes blurred half from sleep and half from his literal astigmatism.  
“Wow, should I be expecting a drawer soon?” he murmured with a smile.  
“I mean, you already have a toothbrush here,” Keishin answered, unable to keep from smiling himself.  
“And we’re only a week in,” Ittetsu mumbled, “I’ll be on the lease in a month.”  
“Yeah, yeah,” Keishin waved his hand in dismissal, “I’m a simp, we all get it, now go back to sleep it’s four thirty.”

Ittetsu groaned and shifted in the bed. He didn’t want Keishin to leave, he wanted to keep talking to him, or keep cuddling with him, or do really anything with him, but four thirty? And they had by no means gone to bed early. And he had to teach all day.  
“Fine, go do your stupid job,” Ittetsu griped into his pillow, “I’ll just be lying here, missing you.”  
Keishin pinched Ittetsu on the back of his neck, the only skin that was really visible the way he was buried in the blankets.  
“Hey!” Ittetsu objected, shooting a hand back to cover the small bit of exposed skin.  
“Go to sleep,” Keishin repeated, and Ittetsu could tell he was turning to walk away by the creak of the floorboards before he spoke again, “I love you.”

Ittetsu just kept his head buried in the blankets. He shouldn’t say it now, should he? Right before he started work, at 4:30 am on a Wednesday morning? He was waiting for the right time

With that, Keishin’s footsteps withdrew and Ittetsu heard the clicking of the bedroom door as he left the room. He let out a low sigh into the pillow. He knew about the honeymoon phase, he knew it didn’t last forever, but honestly he was finding himself almost wishing it would end sooner. It was almost painful liking Keishin as much as he did. He wanted to spend every second with him, and every second they were apart talking about him or at least thinking about him. He found himself counting the minutes until class ended every day, when he could rush to the gym and find Keishin there waiting.

He almost wished it would end, because he wanted to see what came after a honeymoon phase. He wanted to see what a simple, content relationship with Keishin would be like, what really truly being in love would be like. He wanted to see, to experience, everything he hadn’t experienced before, and he wanted to do it with Keishin. He almost wished it would end, but not quite yet. Because, as excited as he was for what was next, and as exhausting as it was to be this obsessed with a person, he was falling in love with Keishin every minute, and he was willing to do that for as long as the universe would let him.

* * *

“Why’d you pick the highest point in all of Miyagi for this?” Keishin complained, huffing as he followed Ittetsu along the diminishing dirt trail, the tall grass brushing against his legs was somehow still wet with morning dew at almost noon. Probably because they were so far above sea level they were approaching the cloud line.  
“Keishin this isn’t even a mountain,” Ittetsu responded, his breath completely unaffected by the strain of the hike, or _walk_ because Ittetsu refused to call this a hike when it was less than five kilometres and only 400 metres of elevation, “It’s like, an arguably _small_ hill.”  
“Whatever,” the coach groaned, tugging at the straps of his backpack, “You’re not the one carrying our lunch.”

Ittetsu paused, turning to face him from a couple metres ahead on the trail.  
“I thought your stamina was better than this,” he tutted, his hand instinctively trailing up Keishin’s chest once he got close enough to touch, “No, I _know_ your stamina’s better than this.”  
Keishin pulled his eyebrows together, placing a hand over Ittetsu’s on his chest and leaning close.  
“I reserve my stamina for things I enjoy,” he answered.  
Ittetsu dropped his hand off his boyfriend’s chest, bringing Keishin’s hand with it and interlocking their fingers at his side.  
“We’re almost there,” he informed him, “And trust me, you’ll enjoy it.”

It was another five minutes before they reached the top, and Keishin spent most of that time cursing himself for being down so bad that he agreed to go hiking on his day off, but when they did arrive, Keishin thought he could maybe understand why Ittetsu brought him there. It was a hill he’d probably seen a million times, the one right behind the high school, and it looked down on the entire town. He could see Sakanoshita Market, and the house where he’d grown up. He could see the community centre where his grandfather volunteered. He could see Takeda’s apartment building, only half obscured by another hill, and far in the distance he could even see Shimada mart, before the town folded into rolling green hills and tall mountains.

“Is this where we’re eating?” Keishin asked sliding his arm around Ittetsu’s shoulder as the two of them looked out on the view.  
“What? Were you expecting something better?” Ittetsu asked, sliding his hand round Keishin’s waist in response.  
“I mean, after that hike, I was kind of thinking...” Keishin teased, giving himself away by immediately laughing when Ittetsu poked him in the stomach, “It’s beautiful.”

Takeda grinned and turned to him, extending his arms to ask for the bag on Keishin’s back. He didn’t hesitate to take it off and hand it over, and his tired shoulders thanked him.  
Crouching on the ground, Ittetsu placed the backpack down and zipped it open, pulling out the things he packed in it that morning. First, he pulled a big white and blue gingham blanket, the perfect picturesque kind of thing they have picnics on in movies. He unfolded the fabric and raised it in the wind, letting it flutter out before laying it over the long grass of the open field.

Keishin settled down on it, propping his head up on his arms and staring up at the blue sky, watching the white clouds float by as Ittetsu finished setting up. When he sat up again Ittetsu was cross legged beside him, two bentos, two cups, a thermos of iced green tea and a bluetooth speaker between them.  
“I was carrying all that?” Keishin exclaimed, his hand immediately moving to his shoulder as he rolled it back, “No wonder it was so heavy.”  
“Hey, you were the one that insisted on not letting me carry it,” Ittetsu pointed out.  
“I thought it was full of essentials,” Keishin griped, “Not fucking dishware.”

Ittetsu lowered his eyebrows menacingly, a harsh contrast with the rest of his body, which was pleasantly filling the two empty cups with tea.  
“I’m sorry,” Ittetsu huffed, his voice dripping with sarcasm, “next time I plan us a romantic picnic I’ll pack our lunches in old grocery bags.”  
“I would appreciate that,” Keishin grinned, pretending he didn’t hear the sarcasm.  
Ittetsu handed him his tea, “You’re insufferable.”  
“I love you~” Keishin said sweetly, accepting the tea with a smile.  
Ittetsu frowned, “I love you, too,” he grumbled, as if annoyed by that very fact.

Keishin was drinking his tea when he heard it, and there were a couple beats of silence before he started choking it back up.  
“You what?” Keishin sputtered when he had enough air in his lungs to do it.  
“I-” Ittetsu started, before the realisation struck him and a bright red blush spread over his face like ink in water, “Oh my god, that wasn’t how I was going to say it.”  
Keishin felt his stomach flip at the words. At the indication that Ittetsu did, eventually mean to say it, at the indication that it was true. 

By that point it had been two weeks since Keishin confessed, since they started dating, and Keishin had gotten so used to saying “I love you” he’d kind of forgotten Ittetsu hadn’t said it back, or more accurately, he’d forgotten he could. He’d forgotten that that was the response most people got when they said “I love you”, he’d stopped thinking about what Ittetsu thought of him. A couple times he had wondered when Ittetsu would feel the same way he did, but he knew most people took longer than him, that these things normally happened months into relationships, not days, so he honestly hadn’t been expecting anything soon.

“Um,” Ittetsu started again, placing down his tea and shuffling forward on the blanket so he could grab Keishin’s hand in his own, “That’s why I wanted to come here today, I wanted to tell you,” Keishin’s heart was thundering, and he wasn’t sure if he was hearing it, or just feeling the blood pulse through his ears, “I love you, Keishin, and I’ve never really been in love before, so I don’t really know what that means, but I feel like you know me better than anyone, and I want to be around you all the time, and I’m obsessed with everything you do, and I think you’re the best boyfriend I could ever ask for, and, um,” his eyes dropped away in embarrassment, “I love you. So…”

“Ittetsu,” Keishin breathed, like it was the only word he knew, before he pulled him closer into a kiss. He could feel his heartbeat in every part of his body, and when he drew Ittetsu closer he could feel his heartbeat too, pounding just as hard as his own.  
They clamoured over the picnic blanket, making every effort to get closer to one another as the tea and bentos completely disappeared from their minds. Keishin didn’t know if he was being too aggressive, his lips, teeth and tongue all taking turns pulling the kiss from Ittetsu, but Ittetsu seemed to be giving himself in to the kiss, and the more he did the more desperate Keishin became. Ittetsu loved him. _Ittetsu loved him._

Ittetsu made a little moan into Keishin’s mouth as he pulled him even closer, until Ittetsu had to part his legs to make room for Keishin’s hips. Ukai braced an arm against the ground to prop himself up as he slowly lowered himself and Ittetsu together. He might have felt like he was taking the kiss too far if it wasn’t for the leg he felt Ittetsu hook around him, a gentle movement, but still one that urged his hips even closer. When Ittetsu’s head was finally against the ground, with Keishin’s folded forearm cushioning it, he moved his lips off Ittetsu’s mouth and down to his jaw.  
“Keishin,” Ittetsu breathed when his mouth was free to do so.  
“Mmm,” he hummed his response into the soft flesh of the teacher’s neck.

“I love you,” Ittetsu repeated, his leg flexing, pulling Keishin closer, as he felt the soft pressure of teeth grazing his neck.  
“I love you so much, Ittetsu,” Keishin raised himself off Ittetsu just long enough to say it, before dropping back down to his lips.  
Keishin grinded his hips down into Ittetsu’s as they kissed, and the teacher made a sound, grabbing a fistful of the gingham blanket the way he did with Keishin’s bed sheets. Forgetting the two full, uncovered cups of tea until he felt their contents spilling over his shirt.

“Ah!” Ittetsu jumped up at the sudden cold at his back, his forehead knocking hard against Keishin’s, making them both hiss in pain.  
“What the-” Keishin started, before his eyes blinked open and he saw the growing puddle of tea under them, “Oh my god.”  
He attempted to pick up the cup before any more spilled, but it was already emptied over the blanket or Ittetsu’s back.  
“Oh man, oh man,” Ittetsu cursed, taking his speaker off the blanket just an instant before the tea would have reached it, “I’m sorry, Keishin.”  
“Why are you sorry?” he asked, “It’s my fault for trying to fuck you on a picnic blanket.”  
Ittetsu laughed, and quickly the spilled tea seemed like a trivial misstep.  
“Well I don’t want to punish you for that,” Ittetsu grinned, “You might stop doing it.”

Keishin watched him, cautiously.  
“I mean, the tea’s already been spilled.”  
“Yeah, and it’s all over my shirt, too,” Ittetsu whined, managing to hold his face in a pout until his eyes met Keishin’s and his smile flickered up, “You think I’ll have to take it off?”  
Keishin responded with a smirk of his own, “You probably should, so it can dry, you know.”  
“You want to see what else you were carrying?” Ittetsu said, nodding his head in the direction of the backpack as he grabbed the hem of his shirt.  
Keishin wanted so badly not to show his excitement, but his face was overflowing with a huge smile as his hands darted for the bag and he found the bottle of lube and box of condoms at the bottom of it.

“So this was your plan, then?” he asked, watching appreciatively as Ittetsu pulled the soft cotton tee up over his chest, exposing his pale skin, speckled with the small hickeys and bite marks that had become a permanent feature of his chest over the last two weeks, “Drag me up a mountain, confess your love and then fuck me in a meadow like some kind of indie band music video?”  
“What music videos are you watching?” Ittetsu asked before deciding that was not an important tangent to branch out on and addressing the bottle of lube now in Keishin’s hand, “And I just wanted to be prepared for anything.”

Keishin’s lips flickered into an amused smile, “You wanted to ride my cock in a public park, just say it, Ittetsu.”  
The teacher stared at him, his brain working to find another explanation, “It’s technically private property,” was what he settled on.  
“Ittetsu!” Keishin laughed, his hands slipping over Ittetsu’s now bare waist as they settled close enough to touch again, “Trespassing _and_ public sex? And I really thought you were planning an innocent picnic date.”  
Ittetsu hummed, his hand wrapping around the back of Keishin’s neck, his eyes on his lips in an indication of his next move, “You still underestimate me.”  
Keishin closed his eyes as he let himself be pulled into the kiss, the soft romantic warmth of the contact making butterflies swarm in his stomach.  
“It’s not my fault you’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met.”  
Ittetsu smiled, and Keishin’s face was so close to his he could only see it in his eyes, “It is your fault though.”

Keishin’s eyes scanned Ittetsu’s, finding it hard to believe anything about this perfect man sitting in front of him was his doing, but accepting any blame Ittetsu wanted to assign him, “I love you.”  
Ittetsu just smiled, holding him close, “I love you, too.”

* * *

Ittetsu whined into the picnic blanket, his cheek pressed to the ground, arms braced in front of him and ass raised over his knees, as Keishin’s tongue swiped over his entrance. He was already entirely naked, Keishin had undressed him piece by piece before touching anything, and his boyfriend, behind him, was still perfectly clothed. The wet heat of Keishin’s tongue pushed into him, making him shudder before he withdrew it and nibbled on it with his teeth.  
“Ok, I’m ready,” Ittetsu huffed, his chest shaking with each breath, “You can fuck me now.”

Keishin’s tongue shot out once more before he drew back, his hands still holding Ittetsu’s cheeks apart, leaving his asshole to grow shockingly cold in the brisk air of the early September day.  
“Oh I can, can I?” he asked, the quote from their first weekend as a couple, when Ittetsu had him in ropes, had become a common reference in their relationship. It embarrassed Ittetsu to no end to hear his own words repeated back to him, but he knew that was why Keishin did it, and the twinge of embarrassment always made him a little extra sensitive, “If you want me to fuck you you’re going to have to ask nicely, Ittetsu.”

Ittetsu groaned against the blanket, repositioning his arms so he could move one back, the need to feel something warm on his cold, spit-slicked asshole requiring him to at least try to finger himself, but Keishin immediately batted the hand away.  
“Ask nicely,” he repeated, a thumb brushing only lightly over the surface of Ittetsu’s asshole, reminding him what he was asking for, “Use your words.”  
“Please, fuck me _daddy_ ,” Ittetsu whined, choosing the pet name he used only when he wanted to piss Ukai off, becuase his boyfriend had told him, multiple times, how much he hated it.

“Okay, you’ve got attitude today,” Keishin grinned, pushing two lubed fingers into him without warning, making Ittetsu gasp and twist his hands into the blanket again, this time without the threat of cold tea spilling onto his back, “I could say no, you know, if you keep being so disobedient.”  
Ittetsu stared back at him, though he couldn’t see much with his head half buried in grass and his glasses folded in their bag. He looked back more for Keishin than himself, though, knowing exactly what kind of things half-hooded eye contact did to him.  
“Do you really think you could?” he asked, keeping his voice as steady as he could with Keishin’s fingers working inside him, getting closer to his prostate with each press, “You think your dick would ever forgive you?”  
Keishin’s fingers finally pressed the right spot, sending a shockwave of ecstasy through Ittetsu’s whole body and drawing a loud moan from his mouth.

“You might be right,” Keishin hummed, “I might fuck you no matter what you do, I might not be able to help myself,” he paused, slowly dragging his fingers out of Ittetsu’s ass even as he tightened over then to try and hold them in, “But do you really want to take that risk, or do you want to just swallow your pride and ask for my cock like a good boy?”  
Ittetsu whined as the fingers retreated, leaving his asshole feeling even colder and emptier than before. He bit his lip, trying to hold on back as much as possible while he thought of another way to guarantee Keishin fuck him, but he couldn’t think of anything, he had to admit defeat.  
“Ok, fine, I need your cock, Keishin,” he mumbled, his face buried in the blanket.

“I’m sorry,” Keishin’s good mood could be easily heard in his voice, “I couldn’t hear that.”  
Ittetsu’s face was turning red, he was sure Keishin heard him, or at the very least could guess what he’d said, but he still lifted his head off the ground and looked back over his shoulder.  
“Please, Keishin, fuck me.”  
Keishin’s smile grew, and he removed his hands from Takeda’s ass to pull off his own shirt.  
“Now that’s what I like to hear.”

Once Keishin’s hands were off him, Ittetsu pushed himself up to sit on the blanket, his hand dropping to rub his dick as he watched Ukai undress himself.  
“Do you like jacking off looking at me?” Keishin asked when his eyes met Ittetsu’s, after his pants were lying in a pile on the grass.  
“Why shouldn’t I like it?” Ittetsu responded, trying not to let his ears burn as he flustered, “You are my boyfriend.”  
“Ah, so it’s natural you find me sexy then?” Keishin smiled, his thumbs hooking into his boxers and dragging them down off his hips.

This time Ittetsu failed to stop the blush from spreading over his cheeks as his eyes unconsciously fell to the erection suddenly exposed in front of him, completing the near-perfect image of Ukai Keishin nude.  
“Isn’t it?”  
“Oh come on,” Keishin complained, as he fumbled through the box of condoms Ittetsu had packed for them, “You know what I want to hear, don’t you, Ittetsu.”  
The teacher took a second to watch as Keishin slowly unrolled the thin latex over his cock before responding.  
“I find you sexy, Keishin,” he admitted, and Keishin grinned, crawling over the blanket to him the second he finished the sentence.

“Is that why you love me?” Keishin teased, kissing Ittetsu once before he could answer.  
“One reason,” Ittetsu hummed, releasing his dick to let his boyfriend’s hand take his place, “Among many.”  
Kieshin just hummed, opening the bottle of lube to squeeze a generous amount over their cocks, spreading it over the length with his hand.  
“You know, I think we should let you plan all our dates,” he mused watching Ittetsu’s face as his pupils slowly grew and his gaze became unfocused, “So far this one’s going great.”  
“Mmm,” Ittetsu leaned into Keishin, his head hanging over his shoulder so he could speak into his ear, “You haven’t even tried my bento yet.”  
Keishin laughed, then suddenly Ittetsu felt his hand unwrap from their cocks, replacing itself on his hip, the other hand on the other side.  
“You ready?” he asked, as he pulled his hips back enough to line his head up with Ittetsu’s asshole.  
Ittetsu smiled as one last breath hissed from his nose, “Ready.”

Ittetsu let his head fall back, his eyes taking in the bright blue and stark white of the sky above him as his body filled with heat from where Keishin’s cock, warm and slick with the lube he’d rubbed over it, slowly and deliberately penetrated him. It felt different to be doing it outdoors, especially in the bright light of day, in such an open field. Ittetsu almost felt even more naked than usual and the cool breeze was turning his pink nipples into tiny daggers.  
“Ah,” Ittetsu moaned, as Keishin plunged deeper into him, pressing every nerve in his ass as it filled him, “It’s-” his smile curled up and his eyes fluttered closed, his arms around Keishin’s neck drawing him closer, “so good.”

Keishin leaned in, meeting Ittetsu’s open mouth with his own, letting their tongues slide over each other and basking in each new point of contact. Keishin’s hips began to push and pull from Ittetsu’s, the rhythm steady and addictive enough that Ittetsu quickly caught on, matching the roll of his own hips so they could each maximize every touch, every drag of friction, every stomach swirling bloom of pleasure.

When Keishin’s hand found its way back to Ittetsu’s cock, his own erection still thrusting in Ittetsu’s ass, the little teacher quickly became too distracted for kissing. Instead he found himself just moaning into Keishin’s mouth as the coach continued to kiss him. When Ukai realised what was happening he moved his kisses down, to the dip of his shoulder, so he could hear the fully fledged moans echoing out into the empty field.

“Yes, yes,” he urged arms holding Keishin close to him as his hips jerked over Keishin’s cock, and into his hand at the same time, “fuck me, yes, Keishin.”  
Keishin bit into Ittetsu’s shoulder, trying to release a bit of the pressure as the first flickers of excitement sent rippling convulsions through Ittetsu’s ass, and in turn over his dick, sensitive even through the thin latex. He could hardly stand how good Ittetsu felt, and all he could hope was that the teacher would cum soon because he could already feel himself starting to mount towards his own orgasm.  
“Ah, Ukai,” Ittetsu continued to moan, having absolutely no reason to silence himself in a spot as empty as this one, “Holy shit, Ukai.”

“Feel good, baby?” Keishin whispered, voice low and raspy with restraint, into Ittetsu’s ear, before taking the lobe between his lips and then his teeth.  
Ittetsu didn’t answer, except in a drawn out moan as Keishin’s hips slapped against his ass, but his own hips began to stutter. His whole body twitched when Keishin’s teeth tugged at his earlobe, including his ass, which pulsed around the cock inside it. This only seemed to encourage both of them, their movements becoming faster, deeper, more desperate.

“Ke-” Ittetsu breathed, suddenly burning hot despite the brisk air around them, “Keishin.”  
Keishin just hummed in response, the sound going a little sticky in his heaving breaths.  
“Keishin,” he repeated, this time louder, higher.  
“Mmm, yes, say my name,” Keishin huffed, his hand digging deeper into the flesh at Ittetsu’s hips as he pulled him even further onto his cock.  
“Keishin!”

The coach had his eyes pinched shut, searing flashes of colour the only thing he could see as he came, but he could feel the heat sliding, slick against his stomach and the hand he still had on Ittetsu’s dick. Keishin’s hips bucked up into Takeda in a way he almost couldn’t control, needing to feel every inch of him on his cock as he came. Again his teeth sunk into the dip of Ittetsu’s shoulder, and Ittetsu’s moans grew even louder in response, filling the empty field with noises so lewd Keishin thought he could cum from hearing that alone.

When their movements finally slowed, their breath following after, Keishin blinked his eyes open. Ittetsu was already staring at him through barely opened eyes.  
“I love you,” he repeated.  
“Old news,” Keishin mumbled, and Ittetsu smacked him hard on the shoulder, “I love you too.”  
They stayed for another second like that, taking slow deep breaths to cool their superheated bodies, Keishin’s cock still inside Ittetsu, before they finally slid apart. 

They cleaned themselves up, which was surprisingly easy because along with the lube and condoms, Ittetsu had packed a set of wet wipes and a bag for garbage.  
“Were you, like a boy scout or something?” Keishin teased, “This backpack has, like, everything.”  
“I’m a planner,” Ittetsu told him, as he unfolded his glasses and put them back on his nose, “be grateful.”  
“Oh, I’m grateful,” Keishin insisted, sliding an arm around Ittetsu before he had a chance to get dressed, “I’m very grateful.”  
He kissed Ittetsu once on the nose, then the cheek, then the lips.  
“Just wait until you taste the food,” Ittetsu smiled when Keishin let him go.  
“I already know it’s going to be perfect,” Keishin responded, sitting back as he watched Ittetsu stand up off the blanket, to look for his scattered clothes, “Just like you.”

“You’re so cheesy,” Ittetsu complained as he bent over to pick up a sock from the grass.  
“You’re so goddamn fine, oh my god,” Keishin responded, close to drooling as he stared at Ittetsu’s naked body.  
Ittetsu responded by throwing the dirty sock at him, making Keishin laugh and reach up to secure his hands around Ittetsu’s waist. He pulled him down into his lap, causing him to make a yelp of surprise, but he settled comfortably on Keishin as he started to kiss him.

His clothes could wait, the lunch could wait, there wasn’t anything they didn’t have time for. For the first time in his life, Takeda Ittetsu was in love, and the man he loved loved him back, it was hard to want anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ittetsu has reached his final form - brat
> 
> No but seriously this was so much fun to write, I kind of started it on a whim because I wanted to try writing smut and I didn't want to write smut about characters I only knew as teenagers so I kind of just chose the only adult ship but OMG takeuka is my favourite ship now I love them both so much and I refuse to accept anything other than the two of them being completely in love.  
> Thank you so much to all my readers, especially the ones that have been around since the beginning, your comments and support always made writing more fun!
> 
> the end I guess <3


End file.
